Total Drama World Tour: Unsung Songs
by Sandstormzach
Summary: The third part of my ongoing Total Drama series. It started with Unbroken Rules, continued with Unmade Bonds, and now here's season three: Unsung Songs. See how the changes from previous season, and no songs after episode 1, affect the outcome of TDWT. Thanks for reviews!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: World Tour

Chris and the camera crew were standing in the middle of an airport. Chris checked his watch and smiled. "Okay, the gang should be here any minute now. Start rolling in three, two, one..." He turned to a nearby camera and smiled. "Season three of Total Drama, folks! The world is gonna be mine, sea to shining seas! Sadly, I'm forced to share my world with a three ring traveling teen freak show." A bus drove up and came to a stop near Chris. "They'll be competing all around the globe for another million dollars. So, let's meet our players!" The bus opened the doors and the Total Drama contestants walked out. Chris called their names as they exited. "Courtney, Duncan, Heather, Gwen, Leshawna!" Heather turned and smirked at Gwen. "Ready to lose again, gothie?" Gwen glared at her. "I don't think so. You're the one who's losing this time, miss 'alliance buddy.'" "Lindsay, Owen, DJ and Harold!" DJ came out of the bus, holding Owen in front of him. "Guys?" Owen started screaming. "Street strawberry preserves! No!" "He's afraid of flying, remember?", DJ said. Harold came out next. "Aerophobia, from the Latin, as opposed to Aeronauseophobia, the fear of air sickness." "Keep up the fascinating facts, and I'm going to be aeronauseous all over you", Noah said. "And, returning fan favorites, Noah, Cody and Ezekiel!", Chris said. Ezekiel came out of the bus and waved at the cameras. "Yo, yo, yo, this year's winner is in the house! Uh, bus! I mean, uh, runway! Where's the plane, eh?" Izzy ran up behind Ezekiel and jumped onto his shoulders. "I know, right? Let's fly! Woohoo!" "Watch out, eh!" Izzy and Zeke fell over. Chris laughed. "Yep, Izzy's back! Also returning this season: Tyler, and the surfer girl Bridgette!" Tyler walked to the front of the bus and struck a pose, but fell over and landed on Izzy and Zeke. Bridgette walked out next, and fell onto the others.

"And now, to mix things up and keep it all fresh, we're adding two new competitors. He's an honor roll student with a diplomat for a dad, and an amazing ability to charm the pants off most species: Alejandro!" Alejandro walked off the bus and smiled. "Perhaps I could assist?" He bent down, grabbed Bridgette and Izzy by the hand and pulled them up. Izzy liked it, but Bridgette backed away. "I, I uh I have a girlfriend!" Alejandro bent down again and pulled Tyler and Zeke up. "And, amigos, please, allow me." "Wow, eh." "I like girls", Tyler said. Chris cleared his throat. "And she's a sugar addicted super fan, with twenty two Total Drama blogs, Sierra!" Sierra ran out of the bus and looked around. "Oh my gosh I love you guys! And this is the greatest day of my life!" She started hyperventilating. "Anybody have a paper bag I could breathe into!" She turned and squealed, then ran over to her favorite contestant. "Oh my gosh, Cody! I've dreamt of this moment, only you weren't wearing a shirt!" Lindsay raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

Chef drove up to everyone in an old jumbo jet. Duncan looked at it. "What the...?" The jet stopped and a few bits of metal fell off it. Courtney raised her hand. "Excuse me, I'd like to express some concern about the safety of our plane?" "Relax, it's perfectly safe!", Chris assured her. A large sheet of metal fell off the hull. "Now boarding!", Chris said. Owen started screaming again. "NO! I can't ride in that! Call the United Nations! Call a cab! Call my mom! No, I'm not doing this! I'm out! This is unethical!" Chris frowned, walked up to Owen and hit him over the head with a frying pan, knocking him out. "Anybody else got a problem with it?" "No..." "Love it!" "Dibs on the window seat!", the teens said nervously. Chris smiled. "Now boarding! Final voyage to a million big ones! Now let's start the first episode of Total Drama the Musical!"

Chris led the contestants onto the plane. "Singing? Really?", Gwen asked. "I thought Chris was joking about that." "Well I don't have a problem with it", Courtney said. "Yeah, cause you LIKE singing", Leshawna said. Duncan scowled. "Well I don't! Girls sing, little birdies sing, Duncans do not sing." "Think I'll get to beat box?" "I'll beat you if you try, Harold." "Why are you doing this to us?", Heather asked. "Singing reality shows are huge", Chris explained. "And, the worse the singing, the better the ratings, which is why on this show, there will be no vocal coaches, or rehearsals, or warning!" The contestants started groaning and whining. "Anywho, this is the dining area, where you'll enjoy in-flight meals." Ezekiel smirked. "Not for long, eh! Prepare to lose to the Zeke!" "Okay, so not trying to be mean here, but you do know you got voted out first last time, right?", Gwen asked him. "Word. And I spent every minute since makin' sure that don't happen again. I'm stronger, faster, smarter-" "Chattier, blabbier, can't-shut-uppier. Now zip it and let me finish the tour so we can get this bird in flight!", Chris said. "Is there a ladies' room?", Leshawna asked. "Just through there." "Good, cause I need to make a deposit."

_Confession Cam: Leshawna._

"_...What the... There's a camera in the potty? Again! Ugh! Can't a sister get a little privacy on this program?"_

Chris led the teens to the next, crummy section of the plane. "Losing teams will enjoy luxurious economy class accommodations between destinations", he said. Lindsay looked around. "Okay, but where are our beds?" "Owen, care to demonstrate?" Chris turned to Owen, who was sitting on one of the benches and strapped to a wall. He mumbled about planes in his sleep. "That does not look comfortable", Heather said. "No comfort for losers. Safety harnesses and an emergency exit, but no comfort here, here, or here." Chris pointed around the cabin and Sierra walked up to him, laughing. "Hahaha, OMG Chris, I am just LOL!" "We should hit the winners' compartment, eh, cause I ain't never gonna sit back here. Never!", Ezekiel said. Noah plugged his nose. "Is never your policy on mouthwash too, homeschool?"

Chris took everyone to the next, fancy section of the plane. "This is the first class cabin, the domain of each week's winners." "Now this is the kind of comfort ladies deserve", Alejandro said to Lindsay. "They get ladies in first class too? Oh! Me! You meant me!" "That guy is as smooth as mama's gravy", DJ said. "He'd better not try anything with Lindsay", Cody said. "Good luck, man. Nobody can compete with gravy." "Hey Lindsay, over here!" Lindsay walked over. "What's up, Cody?" Cody hugged Lindsay, stood on his tiptoes and kissed her. Lindsay smiled. "Aww, you sweetheart..." Alejandro rolled his eyes. Heather glared at him.

_Confession Cam: Heather and Chef_

"_I can see right through that guy... You know, Chef, this extra confessional is a thousand times nicer than talking on the toilet." "Maybe for you. I'm trying to prep for a flight here." "Hello, venting! Shush! Anyway, new guy is so transparent, so fake, so-" "Deliciously seductive?" "That is exactly the opposite of what I was trying to say!" "Pretty good looking guy, to boot! I'm just saying." "Ugh, forget this!"_

The teens followed Chris into the nicest part of the plane yet. "Whoa, where are we now?", Cody asked. "A grand piano, wood burning pizza oven, four person hot tub with LED light show and dancing waters?" "How do I win this? My fair lady loves a hot tub", Harold said. "Easy, tiger. These are my quarters. And they're off limits!", Chris said. He flicked Harold's nose. "Clear?" "Crystal." "Oh, Chris, I heart your limits!", Sierra said.

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_Anyway, with Katie and Sadie gone, Lindsay and Ale-whatever looking like a real threat, my only strategic option is to stick with Bridgette while I try to make friends with the new girl. But getting to like her is gonna be hard... I do not 'heart' the new girl."_

Chris took the teens back to the mess hall. "Well, that's pretty much it. I skipped the cargo hold and galley, but I'm sure you'll find those exciting destinations later, when I 'accidentally' lock you in them", he said. The plane started moving, and hit a bump. Bridgette bounced off her seat and onto Alejandro. "Senorita, are you okay?", he asked. Bridgette looked up at him and smiled. "Is the earth moving?" "Nope, we are!", Izzy told her. "One more thing", Chris said. "I'm sure you remember a little something called the elimination ceremony? Takes place right in there, my friends." Chris pointed to the back of the plane, and the contestants followed him there. "if you don't receive a barf bag full of airline issue peanuts-" "I got a peanut allergy, yo", Ezekiel said. "Or, more like a sensitivity?" Chris scowled. "You will be forced to take the drop of shame-" "Okay, I just don't like-" "Kinda like this!" Chris grabbed Ezekiel by his shirt, dragged him to the exit door, opened it and threw him out of the plane. "All eliminations are final, bro! See you next season!" Chris closed the door and sighed.

The plane took flight and the teens went back to the dining area. DJ sighed. "Every second we're getting closer to adventure, and further from mama..." Sierra smiled at Cody. "Cody Emmet Jameson Anderson... I also happen to know that your birthday is April first. You're my very own April fool", she said. Lindsay looked confused. "What do you mean YOUR April fool? He's MY boyfriend..." The teens heard a bell and Chris walked into the dining area, wearing a fancy suit. "Whenever you hear that friendly little bell, it's musical number time!", he told them. "So, let's hear it." "But... what're we supposed to sing?", Courtney asked. "You have to make it up as you go. Wouldn't be challenging otherwise, now would it?" The teens groaned and started to sing.

_Up, up, up, up! Sing, sing, sing, sing! We're flying! And singing! We're flying and we're singing!_

_Come fly with us, come fly with us, got a lot of crazy tunes to bust, haha! Come fly with us, come fly with us, it's a pleasure and an honor and a must._

_Dudes, this is messed, you're singing in a plane. What did you expect, Chris is freaking insane! Yeah, but guys, you're singing on TV. Haven't you always wanted to?, It can't just be meeeeee..._

_Come fly with us, come fly with us. Do you know how to stear this thing? I try..._

_They thought they could leave me and depart, but this stowaway's got winning in his heart!_

_Come fly with us, come die with us! We're flying! I hate flying, stop the plane!_

_Come fly with us, come sing with us! Would anyone care for a copy of the season three rules? Because in order to escape instant elimination... all contestants must sing in each show!_

_Duncan, do it! Let's go! Gwen, sing it! Don't go! I don't wanna go home... Come fly with us, come fly with us, come, and fly, with uuuusss! Duncan come on, please? _

_Thiiiiiiiiiis suuuuuuuuuucks! Yeah!_

After the song, Chef turned on the intercom. "Enough singing, fruitcakes! Strap yourselves in, we are now beginning our descent into Egypt! Musical numbers... worst idea ever. Chris is such an i- hey, why is the PA light still on? Awww, shi-" And he turned into off.

The jumbo jet landed in Egypt near a pyramid and everyone got out. Chris settled down on a chair, carried by two interns. "You guys ready for a little fun, huh?", he asked the teens. "Wow, it's a scorcher out here!" He took a sip of a green drink he was holding. "I call today's challenge 'pyramid over under.'" Leshawna glared at Chris. "An eleven hour flight, Chef's in-flight cuisine, a forced musical number, and now we've got a challenge?" "Don't you love this game?" The interns carried Chris over to a starting line near the pyramid, and the contestants followed him. "It's like we're being cooked in a giant oven", Harold said. "It might help if you weren't dressed like a giant baked potato", Leshawna told him. "Wearing an aluminum foil hat means the aliens can't read your brains. It's a real problem in this area." Chris bashed some cymbals together. "Man, that's satisfying! Alright, pyramid over under means you choose how you'll get to the finish line, either over or under the pyramid. Got it?" The contestants nodded. "Ready... set..." "Wait up, yo! You guys, wait up!" Ezekiel ran from the jet to Chris. "I told you I wasn't gonna lose this time, eh!" "Didn't we leave you behind in Canada?" "It's called landing gear, homie. I climbed it and hid with the cargo." Chris smiled. "Impressive. But, you're still out." "No way! I'm in it to win it! Word!" "Well, fine. You don't have to go home today. Ready, set, go!"

The teens ran to the pyramid, most of them going inside. "Oh, great. Our friendly neighborhood host dude failed to mention there were three paths", Noah said. "Hey, Sierra! Which way do you think we should go?", Heather asked. "Me! Uh, um, uh..." "How do we know which way's right?", Owen asked. Izzy gasped. "I know! Okay, I saw this in a spy movie once. You lick your finger and hold it up to find the air flow!" She licked her finger and smiled. "Mm, this sand really crunches in your teeth. Fun! Okay, DJ, gimme your hand." "Don't do it, DJ! You might catch a case of crazy!", Leshawna said. "Come on, Harold." Leshawna, Harold and DJ took the center tunnel. "Oh, let's take the scary mummy tunnel!", Izzy said. She ran in, followed by Owen and Noah.

Meanwhile, outside, Cody, Bridgette and Lindsay looked up the pyramid. "Is it too late to go under instead?", Cody asked. "Alejandro is doing okay", Lindsay said. "He's like the super cutest mountain goat in the world!" Alejandro jumped down from the pyramid and pulled the girls over to him. "May I be of assistance?", he asked. He led them up the pyramid, with Cody grumbling and following them. Meanwhile, Courtney was tying herself to Duncan. "Rock climbing was a team building challenge when I was a CIT, and if Tiffany hadn't been such a lousy partner I'd have won", she said. "It's always the other person's fault with you, isn't it?", Duncan said. "Shut up and help me climb." "Gwen, are you going over too?", Duncan asked. "Working on it!", she yelled down from the pyramid side. "I think Gwen could use a hand..." "Fine, but only because a three person team is stronger", Courtney said.

Back in the pyramid, Izzy's group was making walking through the tunnel when they came across a pile of bandages. "Ooh, look! We're in the nurse's office!", Izzy said. "It's a pyramid, not a high school", Noah told her. She dove for the bandages and threw them to the guys. "Come on, guys, mummy me!" They did so.

Alejandro, Lindsay and Bridgette reached the top of the pyramid. Tyler passed Cody on his way up, but accidentally grabbed a scorpion. "Oww, my hand!" He screamed and fell over, all the way down the pyramid. Meanwhile, back inside, Heather and Sierra were walking along and stepped on a trap tile. Heather fell over onto Sierra and a bunch of arrows flew over their heads. "Oops! Sorry, Heather!", Sierra said. "Honest mistake. Could've happened to anybody. Let's keep going." Meanwhile, Harold and his group came across some mummies on a ledge. DJ stopped to look at one. "That's a real dog! Poor little guy..." "DJ, we do not have time to cry over a stuffed dog!", Leshawna said. He ignored her. "Hey there, little buddy. Wish I had a biscuit to give ya..." He patted the mummy and it turned to dust. DJ gasped. "What'd I do, what'd I do!" The pyramid started shaking and a swarm of beetles appeared. "Scarabs! RUN!"

Duncan, Courtney and Gwen were climbing up the pyramid while Courtney ranted. "And your form is appalling", she continued. "Gee, thanks, Courtney! I was just wondering about that!", Gwen said sarcastically. "You know, you're only here because I'm feeling nice today." "Wow, this is you being nice? I'd hate to see you on a bad day." "If you keep that up, you'll find out firsthand!" Duncan sighed. Back inside, Izzy had gone missing. "Izzy! Izzy!", Owen yelled. "Dude, she's lost. We've gotta go", Noah told him. "Aww, poor Izzy!" "Poor Izzy? She kept insisting we go in circles because she smelled something lucky." "Uh, I think that might've been my fault." Owen farted and laughed. "Airplane food..." Further back in the tunnel, Ezekiel was looking for the others. "Guys? Yo, guys?" He spotted a button on the wall. "An intercom? What the shizzle? Yo, playas, is this thing on?" He pressed it and a bundle of bandages fell on him.

Alejandro and the girls were still at the top of the pyramid. "It's too steep for me to carry you down", he said. "There must be an easier way..." Bridgette turned and saw a street sign, which was at the top of the pyramid for reasons unknown. "I'm a surfer! I can surf!" She yanked the sign out of the pyramid top. At the base of the pyramid, Harold, Leshawna and DJ ran out of the exit. They kept running to the finish line. "Good work, guys!", Chris told them. They stopped to catch their breath, and DJ looked around. "We're first? We're first!" "Go stand behind the number one", Chris said. "In Egyptian, it's waheed", Harold said. Chris glared at him and he frowned.

Back inside, Heather and Sierra were being chased by a mummy. They ran from it, screaming. "Guys, guys, guys! How about another musical number?", Izzy asked as she followed them. Meanwhile, Noah found another mummy in another tunnel. "Hey brickhouse, I found her", he said. Owen ran up. "Really? Hey, Izzy! Where'd you go?" The mummy screamed something, but it was muffled by the bandages. Noah went wide-eyed. "That's not Izzy... run!"

Back outside, Bridgette, Lindsay and Alejandro surfed down the side of the pyramid and landed by the finish line. The girls cheered. "Ladies, after you!", Alejandro said. They crossed the finish line. The girls walked over to Harold's group, and Al attempted to follow, but Chris stopped him. "Not so fast. This season, we're gonna have three teams! Bridgette and Lindsay round out team one. Alejandro, you're the first member of team two." "In Egyptian, it's aetnane", Harold said. "If it's any consolation, you do get..." Tyler fell down the pyramid and landed in the sand. "Uh, Tyler, is it?" "Yep. And you also get the next three contestants." Noah and Owen ran out of the pyramid, screaming. "Congratulations", Chris said. "That's... wonderful!", Alejandro said.

_Confession Cam: Alejandro _

"_You have to be kidding me! I have to deal with these ****ing incompetents! ****!"_

Sierra and Heather exited the pyramid just as Cody got down from the top of it. "Oh, Cody, I'm so happy we found you!", Sierra shouted. She ran to Cody and glomped him. "Heather, aren't you so happy?" "I'm so happy I could scream", Heather said. She glared at Sierra. Sierra carried Cody to the finish line, and Heather got there next. "We did it! Group hug!" Sierra put Cody down and glomped him again. "Come on, Heather, you too." Heather rolled her eyes and hugged Sierra and Cody. "Aaand, hug's over. Sierra, get behind the number two. Heather and Cody, you'll be on team three", Chris said. "In Egyptian, it's-" "No one cares, Harold." Cody looked around. "Where are the others?"

At the top of the pyramid, Gwen was arguing with Courtney. "I'm telling you, we need to untie!", Gwen yelled. "And I'm telling you it's unsafe! I'm in charge!" Chris got a megaphone and walked to the pyramid. "Oh, hey there guys! I've got a surprise for you!" Chris rang a bell. "Recognize that sound? Time for whoever's not finished yet to give us a little musical reprieve!" Duncan glared down at Chris. "You said one song per episode!" "Yeah, and this is a reprieve, not a new song! So if you don't sing, you're out! Now let's hear it!" "You know what? No." Duncan ran down the pyramid, dragging Gwen and Courtney behind him. "No, nonononono! Three hours of these two squawking on this stupid pyramid, in this stupid heat, and you want me to sing! Forget it!" "Dude, you have a contract!" "Eat it, McLean! If you need me, I'll be in the plane waiting for a ride home, cause I'm out. Done. I quit!" Duncan cut the rope tying him to the girls and walked away. Heather walked up to Gwen and Courtney. "Well, I guess we're teammates."

Then, Izzy ran out of the pyramid, carrying a mummy. Owen and Noah gasped. "Izzy, no!" "You're carrying the undead!" Izzy stopped. "Really? Cool! Bite me, and I can be your undead friend like Frankenstein!" The mummy jumped out of her arms and unwrapped itself. "Thanks for all the help, ya nobs", Ezekiel said. Chris smiled. "Izzy, go join team-" "Tallatah, or three", Harold said. Ezekiel ran up to Chris. "Come on, guy! After all this, you've gotta let me back in the game!" Chris pushed Ezekiel over and sighed. "Fine, but only cause we're down a man thanks to Duncan McQuitty-Pants. Go ahead and join team one." Ezekiel cheered. "Okay, teams, talk amongst yourselves and determine a team name. You have three minutes while I enjoy this ice cream cone." Chris pulled out the cone and started eating. Ezekiel's group was the first to decide. "Team Victory!", they shouted in unison. Next was Heather's team. "Team Amazon!", they said. The girls cheered and Courtney accidentally kicked Cody between the legs. The last team was arguing, and then Sierra spoke up. "Got it! Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot." "What!" Chris smiled. "Alright! Best team name ever! And, here are your rewards." Chris gestured toward some objects. "Team Amazon, you win a camel." Izzy clapped. "Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Really Hot..." "I think there were only four reallies..." "You win a goat!" The goat charged at them and knocked Tyler over. "And Team Victory, here ya go." Chris threw a stick to them. Leshawna glared at Chris. "So the guys who come in last get a camel, and we get a stick!" "All will be explained, if I feel like it, when your next challenge begins."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: In Denial?

Chris led the three teams over to a starting line. They looked down and saw three circles on the ground, one for each team. "Ooh, look, team colors! I like our pink one", Izzy said. Harold glared at his. "Why the heck is our mat yellow? We're no cowards!", he shouted. Leshawna patted his shoulder. "Relax, sugar. The mat's gold, cause Team Victory's in first place!" "I can't believe Duncan got disqualified just cause he won't sing", Gwen said. Courtney rolled her eyes. "He didn't get disqualified. He quit, remember? And it serves him right, he doesn't deserve a million dollars with that attitude." Sierra walked over to Bridgette. "Lindsay and Cody fans would be devastated, but I think you and Heather have a shot at becoming fave Total Drama couple on my fan site." Bridgette blushed. "R-really? You think so?" Sierra smirked. "Trust me on this one. Still, it'll be hard to compete with Cody... did you know he slept with a stuffed emu named Jerry until he was... well, okay, he still does." Noah raised an eyebrow in suspicion. "And you know this how?", he asked. "I called his aunt once. I pretended I was a telemarketer." "Ooh, stalkerlicious."

Chef bashed some cymbals together, and the teens turned to Chris, who was sitting on an intern's back while another intern fanned him. "Don't know about you guys, but I am loving Egypt, and I'm gonna love it even more watching you enjoy your second challenge: the amazing camel race!" Harold looked around. "Where are the other camels?", he asked. "There are no other camels! It's a camel race, not a camels race." Heather cheered, Alejandro groaned and the goat grumbled. Leshawna glared at Chris. "We won last time, but they get a camel, the other team gets a goat, and we get a stick!" "Each reward has its advantages. Trust me. You'll be racing to the world's most infamous waterway, the Nile. Teams must bring their rewards all the way to the finish. You have sixty seconds to strategize."

Heather climbed onto her team's camel. "Let's get going, people! We have a race to win!" The other girls climbed onto the camel, with Izzy on its neck. "Yeah, I get the throat!" She started groaning. "I just introduced myself in Camelese", she said. Gwen smiled nervously. "I bet you did..." Cody tried climbing up by Gwen. "Hey! Glad we're on the same team again this season." Gwen smiled. "Cody, hey! How are things with Lindsay?" Cody sighed. "I don't wanna talk about it..."

_Confession Cam: Cody_

"_Stupid Alejandro trying to flirt with Lindsay... and Bridgette... come to think of it, why is he going for the ones who already have boyfriends? What's he up to?"_

Alejandro paced back and forth in front of his team. "We need no camel! We have each other, and we are unstoppable! We have the will, and the strength, and together we will triumph!" Everyone cheered except Sierra.

_Confession Cam: Sierra_

"_Look, I'm the number one Total Drama superfan. It says so right on my blogs. But Alejandro? He's never even been on TV before. I've never seen HIM in Cute Teen Monthly. I do not know what these girls see in him. They're loco." _

_Confession Cam: Bridgette_

"_Gotta stay loyal to Heather... gotta stay loyal to Heather, after all we've been through... I can do it. I have to."_

Meanwhile, Harold was using his team's stick as a sword. "Hiyah! Hiiyah! On the bright side, I can use this stick to defend us from deadly sand snakes. They could be anywhere." Lindsay and Bridgette shrieked, and Leshawna jumped into Harold's arms. Harold groaned and held her up. "Fear not... I will protect you..!" He swung the stick around and poked Zeke in the eye. DJ snatched the stick from him. "Whoa, cool it before you really hurt somebody!" He threw the stick up, and when it came back down, a bird came with it. "What the..."

_Confession Cam: DJ_

"_First I accidentally destroy a mummified dog, and now I assault a bird? Man, I love animals! This never would've happened back home!"_

Tyler and Noah sat down on the goat. "Sierra, Owen, up, up!", Alejandro said. They climbed up and sat on Noah and Tyler, who groaned in pain. Owen laughed. "This is so cool, Alehandout! Or, Alakazam! Ah, I'm just gonna call you Al, okay?" Owen laughed. "Woohoo, go Al!" "Yeah, this is gonna work", Noah said. Alejandro smiled. "Have faith, Noah. Believe in us!" Alejandro jumped up and landed on Owen and Sierra. Tyler's spine cracked. "Whoa, we're perfectly balanced!" "Okay, consider me impressed", Noah said. Then, Chris stood up on the intern. "Alright, Nile's that way! Kinda big, blue and watery? Can't miss it. Or, I guess you can, but then you'll die. Probably get eaten by the local scarab beetles. It's mating season, and they get all killy when they're in heat." Leshawna walked up to Chris. "I am glad there aren't any out here, those things are nasty!" "I'll tell them you said so." Chef walked up with a large vase and dropped it on the ground. A swarm of scarabs crawled out, and the contestants ran and rode away screaming in the other direction. Chris laughed. "Well, let the race begin!"

Team Amazon took an early lead, but Team Chris was right behind them. Courtney patted the camel and talked to it. "Come on! Come on, camel, faster!" "That is not how you talk to a camel", Heather said. "Ahem... Frickin' move it!" Gwen laughed. "Much better." "Guys, keep it down, okay? I'm trying to tell him a fair tale!", Izzy said. She started groaning and grunting at the camel again. "Uh, guys? Can you pull me up? I'm barely hanging onto this guy's tail", Cody said. Courtney shook her head. "We can't risk having someone fall off by accident. Just stay put, okay?" Cody sighed. "Fine... as long as it doesn't go number two." Heather and Courtney turned around and smirked at Team Chris. "We're gonna go win the race now!" "See ya, losers!", they said. Alejandro smiled. "Such witty remarks from such fiercely intelligent women! I'm both humbled and intrigued!" Courtney laughed. "Nice try, new guy. You have to meet my standards before I accept any flirting." "You're right. Even the son of a diplomat like me doesn't deserve you." Courtney rolled her eyes. "Can you see the Nile, Izzy?" "No, not yet!" "It's got to be around here!" Alejandro looked around and spotted it. He gasped. "Hold on, everyone, I'm changing our route!" He swiveled his hips and the goat turned. After a while, Cody turned around. "Hey, where are they?" The camel farted. "Oh no... please don't poo, please don't poo!" It did, and everyone was disgusted.

_Confession Cam: Alejandro_

"_Perhaps it would've been kind to show the girls' team which way to go, but you've seen my team. We need all the help we can get."_

Team Amazon and their camel kept going for a few minutes and stopped atop a sand dune. "Uh, guys, the other teams are gone, we're all alone out here", Gwen said. "Does anyone know where we are?", Heather asked. Izzy laughed. "Planet Earth, silly." "We're lost!", everyone else said.

Meanwhile, Team Victory was in last place and trying to catch up. "You know... we're so far behind, we can't even see the others anymore, eh", Ezekiel said. They ran by a cactus. "Didn't we pass that cactus like ten minutes ago?", Bridgette asked. "Oh yeah... hey, pointy!", Lindsay said. She waved at the cactus and the others stopped running. Leshawna gasped. "We've been running in circles!"

Team Chris reached the Nile. "There's the finish line!", Tyler shouted. Noah rolled his eyes. "Yeah, on the other side..." Chris waved at them from across the river. He shouted something, but no one could hear it. "Could you speak up!", Owen yelled. Chris scowled and picked up a megaphone. "I said welcome to the third and final Egyptian challenge: basket cases! Each team must weave a basket of river reeds. Your basket has to be big enough to hold your whole team and your reward from the last challenge, AKA goat face over there." Tyler glared at Chris. "Hey!" "I believe he meant the goat", Alejandro said. "Oh... cool." "And, you're gonna use the baskets together with those oars over there to row yourselves to the finish line!", Chris continued. "First team across flies first class to our next destination." Sierra smiled. "This is perfect!" "What, the fact that we're hosed?", Noah asked. "I'm a fourth generation basket weaver! We're gonna need a lot of reeds..." Sierra began plucking reeds and tossing them to her team.

Team Victory was sitting down on a sand dune. "Lost in Egypt... ain't that a kick in the pants!", Leshawna said. "From first place to last... gosh!" Harold snapped the stick over his knee, then looked down. The pronged middle piece was shaking. Harold gasped and picked it up. "It's a divining rod!" "I don't wanna be struck by lightning!", Lindsay said. "A divining rod helps you find water", Leshawna explained. DJ smiled. "Chris said each reward had its advantages... that stick can lead us straight to the nile!" The team cheered and ran off, with Harold in the lead.

Meanwhile, Team Amazon was back tracking. Courtney, Gwen and Heather were arguing about which direction to go. "Hey guys, why don't we ask Ruby?", Izzy asked. She grunted at the camel for a minute. The camel grunted in response. "There! Shouldn't be long now." The camel turned and Courtney rolled her eyes. "Oh please, it's just a coincidence the camel changed directions", she said. "Probably looking for a place to die", Heather added. Gwen sat up on the camel and pointed ahead. "What's that?" The girls gasped. "The finish line!" "Weird. I asked Ruby where we could get some lemonade, but this is okay too, I guess. Want me to tell her to hurry up?", Izzy asked. "Yes!"

They soon arrived at the Nile, where Team Chris was halfway done with their basket boat. Cody fell off the camel. "Basket weaving? You have to be kidding me", Heather said. "It's the only way across", Noah told her. Izzy hopped off the camel and Sierra walked up to her. "Sorry you guys are so far behind... of course, that's mostly my fault", she said. "I care more that you got Owen and Noah on your team! Those guys are so fun to hang with." "But you have Cody!" Sierra ran to Cody and hugged him. "I know, Cody. I wish we were on the same team too!" Cody looked away and pulled himself free. "Sorry, I have to go... do something." Izzy smiled. "Aww, you guys are so cute together!" "Maybe we could swap teams!", Sierra said. "Trade a basket case for a basket weaver? Fine. Sierra, you're with us", Heather said. "Izzy, go play with the boys." Alejandro ran up. "What! Where's Chris? He won't allow this!" Chris drove up to the teams in a motorboat. "Excuse me, what's going on here?" Sierra ran up to Chris and hugged his legs. "Today's officially the best day of my life, so I really hope you allow us to swap. But of course, you'll make the best decision, cause you're the best decider ever!", she said. "Sorry, Sierra, but rules are rules. No team swapping." Sierra frowned. "But why not?" "Frankly, it's more fun to torture you." Chris laughed and Sierra walked away.

"Come on, we're not too late!", DJ yelled. He and the rest of Team Victory arrived at the river. Chris, back on the other side, picked up the megaphone. "Weave a basket of reeds, row to the finish, yadda yadda yadda." "You heard the man, make a basket!", Leshawna said. The other teams were finished with their boats, and Team Victory was almost done soon after. "Ha! Who's happy to have just a stick now?", DJ asked. "And who's happy Leshawna knows her way around a weave?", Leshawna asked. Team Chris got their boat in the water. Everyone got in, and Owen got in last. "It floats! Awesome!" They started rowing. "And who's happy to have a fourth generation basket weaver?", Noah asked. "Glad we didn't swap for Izzy."

Team Victory got their boat in the water. "Harold, come on!", Leshawna said. He grabbed an oar and used it to pole vault into the boat. His legs crashed through the front of it. "Whoops..." "Paddle!" Then, Team Amazon got their boat into the water, the camel onto the boat, and began rowing. Then, some crocodiles swam up behind the boats. Lindsay gasped. "Oh no, what do we do!" "Just bop 'em on the nose! I learned it in Muskrat Boys!", Harold said. A crocodile swam up by him and he whacked it with his oar. The others did the same, except Ezekiel. When a crocodile swam up to him, he whacked it with the stick and the crocodile ate it. "No!"

The teams kept rowing and holding off the crocodiles. Team Chris reached the finish line first. "We did it!", Sierra shouted. Her team hopped out of the boat and cheered. Team Amazon finished next, followed by Team Victory. Chris walked up to the teams. "Congrats! You're alive, and as long as you all brought your reward across the finish line, there will be no elimination tonight." Everyone cheered except Zeke. "A croc ate the stick, eh..." Team Victory glared at him and Chris laughed. "Wow... sucks to be you!" Harold glared at him. "Nice going, Zeke." Ezekiel glared back. "Hey, you broke the stick earlier! We would've lost anyway, eh!" "Well, we'll see what our team thinks."

After everyone boarded the plane, Chris brought Duncan and Team Victory to the elimination room. "Team Victory, you came in last and lost your reward on the way. So, it's vote time!", Chris said. "In the confession cam, you'll find six passports." Harold glared at Zeke. "Unless Zeke already fed them to a crocodile", he said. Ezekiel turned and glared back. "That was an accident, eh!" "Stamp the passport of the team member you'd like to send home. Got it?" Everyone nodded.

_Confession Cam: Lindsay, Ezekiel, Leshawna, DJ, Harold, Bridgette_

_Lindsay stamped one of the passports at random and smiled._

_Ezekiel shrugged. "I guess I pick Leshawna, eh." _

_Leshawna stamped Zeke's passport. _

_DJ just scratched his head. _

_Harold stamped Zeke's passport as well. _

_Bridgette applied some eye makeup and hurriedly stamped a passport._

"I've got the results right here", Chris said after the voting. He held up the six passports. "Those staying in the game will get in-flight snacks." He held up a bag of peanuts. "Mmm, barfy! The following players are safe. Lindsay, Bridgette, DJ, Harold and the last bag of peanuts goes to... Ezekiel." Leshawna stood up and screamed. "What! You gotta be kiddin' me! Who the heck voted me off!" Ezekiel raised his hand. "Sorry, eh." Lindsay scratched her head. "I think I did by accident..." Leshawna glared at them. "Well... fine then!" She hugged Harold tightly. "Good luck this season, sugar. You're gonna need it. And kick Zeke's butt for me, okay?" Harold smiled. "Whatever you say, Leshawna." She let him go and sighed. "Well, thanks." She walked up to Chris and got a parachute, then jumped out of the plane.

Duncan laughed. "Sucks to be her..." Chris walked over to him and handed him a parachute. "Last stop for quitters!" Duncan glared at him. "Yeah right, you're supposed to gimme a ride home!" "Yeah, but, we're going the other way. So... see ya!" Chris shoved Duncan out of the door and he fell, screaming. Chris walked to the door and waved. "Happy landings!" He turned to the rest of Team Victory. "Well, that's two contestants down in one day, and one of 'em just wouldn't sing. You know what? Forget the singing. If you guys are gonna drop out this fast because of it, it's not gonna be any fun. Be sure to tell the others: no more songs. This is just gonna be a dramatic, exciting world tour."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Exporting

**My apologies in advance, everyone. This is the chapter where my misspelling of foreign words and such becomes more of a problem. Hope it won't be too much of a bother... And now, on with the story.**

The next day, the plane was flying along and started shaking. Owen freaked out. "AAAHH! I'm too young to die!" "Stop screaming, lunchbox. Flying is like the fifteenth safest mode of transportation", Noah told him. "Unless you're in a death trap..." Some boards attached to the hull fell down and were sucked out the newly uncovered hole. "This one, for example!" Ezekiel was nearly sucked out of the hole, but Alejandro grabbed him. "Careful, amigo!" "Thanks, eh!" Owen's straps ripped. He screamed even louder as he was pulled to the hole, but he got stuck once he reached it. Everyone else sighed with relief. "Thanks for saving us, Owen!", Harold said. "Yeah, sure, now someone help me! My butt is being sucked outta the plane!"

Up in first class, the girls were having smoothies. "I happen to like winning and being in first class, which happens to make me an ideal leader", Courtney told the others. "If our team needed one, which we don't, because we're winning", Gwen replied. "And I have plans to keep it that way! So think about me as leader." Heather glared at her. "You're not the only person on the team, Courtney. Here's a question. Who made it to the finals two seasons in a row?" "You." "And who here has actually WON a season?" "You..." "So who do you think should be leader?" "Me, of course!" Heather facepalmed. "It's like reasoning with a mule."

Chris turned on the intercom. "This is your captain speaking. It's time for everyone to join me in the common area, and I mean everyone." The contestants got up to meet him there. "Welcome to today's challenge. It's-" "Is it a reward or elimination challenge?", Harold asked. "Good question, Harold, but I'm not answering." Tyler whispered to his team. "Two of us got booted out last time, so today has reward written all over it." Lindsay smiled. "I could use a reward. Oh, I hope it's candy! Or a whole bunch of shoes! Or shoes MADE of candy!" "And I hope you all brought your giant radioactive monster repellant, because we're about to land in Japan!" Chef burst into the room wearing a martial arts outfit. Harold crossed his arms. "Gosh, you guys! That's totally a Chinese outfit!" "Thank you, Harold." "I just really thought you'd work harder to get it right." "Harold, zip it." "Your cultural insensitivity is just... gosh! I mean, gosh!"

Chef grinned at Chris, and Chris smirked. Chef ran to the emergency exit and cut the door to pieces. The contestants flew out of the plane, screaming, and fell to the earth. Owen screamed louder than anyone else. "I DON'T WANNA DIE!" Noah slapped him. "Shut up! I'd like a moment of peace before we crash, thank you." Cody grabbed Lindsay and hugged her. Sierra grabbed Cody and hugged him. Heather and Bridgette held hands. DJ screamed, and Izzy tried to fly by flapping her arms. Everyone kept falling, and they landed in a giant rice bowl. Harold got out of the bowl and cheered. "Japan! Yes! I know everything about this place!" Ezekiel got out and glared at him. "Your intel just got us booted off a plane, eh." "But I went to Sensei Steve's Feudal Japanese Summer Camp!" Alejandro climbed out of the bowl and smiled. "Oh yeah? I speak Japanese too! Bridgette? Hana no yoni kirei", he said. Bridgette raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?" "I said you are as beautiful as a flower." Bridgette blushed. "T-that's... sweet... but I have a girlfriend." Heather glared at Al. "Yeah, and she's very possessive, so back off!" Alejandro looked shocked. "I'm so sorry! I would never try to mess with such a lovely couple, my sincerest apologies." Heather kept glaring.

Everyone got out and found Chris in front of a large, odd structure. "Okay, your first challenge is inside a Japanese game show studio. Bow down before Super Human Mega Pinball Smash!" Harold and Tyler gasped. "I love Japanese game shows!", Tyler said. He high-fived Harold. "Sweet! My favorite is Human Ichi My Car Go-Go, where you have to throw a banana into a car window-" "With a giant shrimp fork! Awesome!" Chris hit a gong. "Oh, look! My own personal geek gong!", he said. "Okay, I'm gonna need one volunteer from each team to climb into one of these giant hamster balls. Then, your teammates are gonna beat you around the game board, scoring points by bouncing you off bumpers and pegs. The team with the most points wins, and I have a special local surprise for each of you to share your little ball shaped paradise with."

"So, teams, select a ball guy, or gal. Victory?" "We choose DJ", Harold said. DJ raised an eyebrow. "We do?" "Coolio. Here's your pinball buddy", Chris said. He held out a baby panda. "A panda? No! Remember when I crumbled that mummy puppy in Egypt? I think that thing cursed me!" Chris threw the panda to DJ and it started attacking him. Chris smiled. "Aww, cute! Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot?" "I'm, uh... I'm allergic to panda dander. I get hives", Noah said. "What he said", Tyler added. "Ill do it, for my team", Alejandro said. "Wicked. Incoming!" Chris threw the panda to Al, who caught it. "Well hello, handsome creature! May I scratch your ears or get you a tasty cookie?" The girls went "Awww..." "And, Team Amazon?" Izzy raised her hand. "Ooh, me! Pick me! I always wanted to try panda!" Chris raised an eyebrow. "Huh?" "Oh, never mind! Just pick me!" Chris shrugged and threw a panda at her. "Okay, now it's human pinball time!"

DJ, Al and Izzy got in their pinballs, and Chef launched them. They ran around in the giant pinball machine, hitting bumpers and racking up points. Izzy hit a spring and went flying into the air, screaming with glee. Meanwhile, Al got his panda to guide him toward a trio of bumpers to rack up points. Down at the bottom of the machine, Harold was lecturing his team. "The paddle must connect with the ball at a perfect thirty three point seven degree angle, to maximize the impact!" Ezekiel glared at him. "Great, but give us a hand, eh!" DJ hit their bumped and knocked them all over. Then, Izzy rolled past the bumpers and hit a wall. Her pinball cracked in half and she walked out, wobbling. "That was so fun! Come on, one more game! Anybody got some quarters?" DJ finished next and walked out of his pinball, carrying the unconscious panda and crying.

_Confession Cam: DJ_

"_I can't believe I hurt that poor little cuddly... Gah! My own tears, they're falling into my scratches!"_

Alejandro finished last, and walked out of his pinball. Team Chris looked up at the score board and cheered. "With a score of four hundred and sixty two thousand, Team I am Really Really Really Really Hot wins!", Chris announced. "You guys get a leg up in the next challenge." DJ started crying. "I wanna go home!"

Chris led the teams to another building and made them sit down to watch a video. The video turned on and showed Chris and the cast of TDA. The audio was very odd, though. "Welcome to Total Drama Action!", Chris said. "Where there will be crazy action, and kooky filming, and somber eating." "Very nice food, I like it", a deep voiced Owen said. The camera cut to Izzy and the monster from the first challenge. "Hey there, you oh so cute monster!", an older sounding Izzy said. "Total Drama Action, coming soon! Pears and apples of fun!" The video ended. Noah raised an eyebrow. "Um... what?" "That piece of cinematic gold is the Japanese promo. Total Drama is HUGE here!", Chris explained. "Okay, but that was in English, so why are they dubbing our voices?", Courtney asked. "Turns out the locals just don't like the sounds of y'all. Sorry!" "No you're not!" "True... ready for the next challenge? I hope you paid attention, because you'll be writing, directing and producing your very own Japanese commercial! There's a brand new candy hitting the Japanese market: Chef's Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fish Tails. I call this the TDYYHGTCFT Challenge of Celebration Fun." Chef scowled. "You said we were gonna pay a real Tokyo ad firm!" "Oops! I did, didn't I? As props, you'll be allowed to use anything you can find in the airplane storage area. Since Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot won the first challenge, they get first dibs." Team Chris cheered. "Team Victory gets to choose second, and Team Amazon stuck with whatever dregs are left." Team Amazon glared at Chris.

Team Chris boarded the plane and Alejandro walked over to some boxes. "Hmm... I'm seeing a tiny Tokyo, a giant radioactive monster, and the one snack that can stop him." Sierra shrugged. "Yeah, that should work." "Super Japanese idea, Al! Nice!", Tyler said. Alejandro smiled. "Noah? What say you?" Noah rolled his eyes. "Meh, I guess. All I know is Owen's being the monster, since he's the closest we have to a giant anything." Owen laughed. "This is gonna be awesome!" Team Chris left, passing Harold and Team Victory on their way. Alejandro bowed. "Good luck, honorable opponent", he said. Harold turned away. "I don't need your luck." "Of course you don't. You have superior leadership skills and vision! Your team is lucky to have you." Harold smiled. "I know, right? They are!" Alejandro smirked and left. "I have an idea", Lindsay said. "Last time I went out for Japanese, I had this huge bowl of Pat Thai, and it was-" "Pat Thai is THAI food", Bridgette said. "Are you sure? That doesn't sound right..." Harold backed away from his team and made a frame with his fingers. "Fear not, everyone. I have a dramatic vision. It mixes Kurasawa's pathos with Miyazaki's sense of wonder." "I think I ordered that at the Japanese place too!", Lindsay said. Bridgette facepalmed. "It's like talking to a baby..."

Team Amazon was last. Courtney looked around and scowled. "A pathetic pile of stuff nobody wants. Ugh! Goodbye, first class..." Heather smiled. "I got an idea! We have the candy fish swimming in the fish tank, then it breaks out and plays basketball!" Gwen rolled her eyes. "Too doctor Seuss! Spinning masks. We toss candy into their mouths, and-" "Insane! Flashing lights and fireworks! Chef wants to be dazzled!", Courtney said. Cody backed away from the girls. "You guys, they're all good ideas, and-" "Overruled! Fish tank!" "Hello, the only way we are winning is with the spinning masks, and lots of them!" "You people are impossible! I'm so outta here!", Courtney said. Heather glared at her. "Well, so am I!" "Fine!", Gwen shouted. They all walked away... "Uh, we can't storm off together... kinda defeats the purpose?", Courtney said. "You go back that way, then!" "No, YOU go back that way!" "Well I came this way first!" Cody turned to Izzy. "We are in some deep trouble..." Izzy went wide-eyed. "Oh no, did the RCMP track me down!" "No, we're gonna lose the challenge!"

Outside the plane, Noah and Tyler were setting up the tiny Tokyo set while Owen practiced his monster routine. "Owen stomp, Owen stomp good!" Noah ran up to him. "Hold on there, chubby buddy. Let us finish the tiny city first." Nearby, Alejandro sat in a director's chair and picked up a pack of the fish snacks. He ate one and threw up.

_Confession Cam: Alejandro_

"_Like... rotting fish intestine with a... side order of fermented squid, and... DIRTY hockey equipment." He threw up into the sink._

Meanwhile, Harold was having Team Victory build a set with weather effects. "More rain! Much more! This whole thing needs to be somberer!" Bridgette rolled her eyes. "Yes, Harold..." "It's sensei! Call me sensei!" Chris walked up to them. "You have five minutes left to film your ad! Then, it's Happy Fish... yum... whatever! We'll be watching them in five minutes!"

Back in the plane, Cody sat down on a box and opened a pack of the fish tails. He ate one, then spat it out. "Yuck!" Izzy ran up to him. "Can I try one?", she asked. Cody shrugged and handed her the bag. "Knock yourself out." She ate one of the fish tails and smiled. "Mmm, this is better than I thought!" She ate another. "Way better..." And then a third one. Izzy gasped. "Aha! Inspiration has struck! Or maybe that's the rotting fish in my stomach. Point is, I have an idea!"

Everyone went to the video room, except Cody and Izzy. Chris walked into the room and said "Alright, now that you're done filming, it's time to see if your hard work has paid off. Chef?" Chef grumbled to himself, scowled and picked up a remote. "First up is Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot with Monster Rampage." Chef played the video. On screen, Owen stomped over toward a fake city in his costume. "Roar! Monster noises!" He picked up some buildings and bashed them together. The rest of the team, dressed as soldiers, watched. "Oh no! The large, out of shape monster!" "We must run!" "Think of the children!" "He's so fat!" Owen roared. "Wait! We shall stop him this way!" Alejandro held out a bag of fish tails, got one out and threw it into Owen's mouth. Owen ate it, smiled and rubbed his stomach. "Ohh, delicious!" _"Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time! Candy fish tails, better than no no! Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time! Tastes so good, wash your face!"_

"Next up, Team Victory with A Samurai's Lament." Chef played the video. On screen, Harold the samurai rode a horse toward the rest of his team. "Great Samurai!" "Please, do you have food?", they asked. Bridgette elbowed DJ. "Psst, DJ! Your line!" He didn't respond and Bridgette groaned. "The hunger, the hunger! The hunger!" A beach ball bounced through the set, over to Harold, who was lying on the ground. The ball hit his katana and popped. Harold closed his eyes. "Duty. Honor. Total Drama Yum Yum... Happy Go Time... Candy Fish Tails... eat them fast. Time, is fleeting. Gosh." The video ended and Chris turned to Team Victory. "Yeah. That was... interesting." "Maybe your Pat Thai idea wasn't so bad", Bridgette told Lindsay. "See, I told you!" Harold glared at them. "It was art! A metaphor! A commentary on the earth's sorrow and it's crying out for m-" Chris covered Harold's mouth. "Next up, the Amazons." Gwen, Courtney and Heather huddled. "Ugh, this is humiliating!" "What do we tell him?", Heather asked. Gwen looked at Courtney, who went to Chris. "Chris, as the leader of Team Amazon, it falls to me to tell you that our team didn't-" "Come up with an amazing title for our awesome commercial!", Cody said. He ran up to the others with Izzy behind him. Gwen looked confused. "We have a commercial?" "Let's just call it... Huh?"

Chef played the video, and a series of bizarre clips played as Izzy sang in the background. _"Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fish Tails! Eat them now! Eat them then! Eat them anytime! Just eat them, eat them, yeah!" _A fish tail flew into a dead seagull's mouth. "You eat it!", it said. The video ended. Sierra cheered, the others were silent and Chris looked confused. "Oh... kay... well, Chef?" Chef scratched his chin. "Chris, uh, I gotta go with Team Amazon." Cody and Izzy cheered. "I dunno, I just loved the exploding donuts." "Guys, that was amazing!", Gwen said. "Totally amazing!", Courtney added. Izzy giggled and bowed. "Congratulations, Team Amazon. But Chef, I also have to know, who bit the biggest?", Chris asked. "Team Victory, with that sad samurai thing. You lose! You're sending someone home, tonight!" DJ frowned. "I put a panda in intensive care, then I choked and wrecked our act, and now we lose again?" Ezekiel looked confused. "Wait, it's not a reward challenge?" Chris smiled. "Well, I'm sure enjoying it!"

Everyone got back on the plane. Harold sat alone in loser class while everyone else finished dinner. Alejandro walked up and sat by him. "It could just as easily have been me", he told Harold. Harold nodded. "We still have our honor. And girls. Especially those of Leshawna's majestic caliber." Harold nodded again and Alejandro put a hand on his shoulder. "Ladies love guys with honor." "Like samurais?" "Like samurais." Harold smiled. Then he went back to the dining area and found Chris and his team. "It's vote time! At the confession cam, you'll find five passports. Stamp the team member you'd like to send home. Got it?" "We went over this last time, eh", Ezekiel said. "Oh, right. Well, get voting then!"

After voting, Team Chris went to the elimination room. "Once again, those staying in the game will get in-flight snacks. And, if you don't get one, you'll be taking the drop of shame", Chris said. "The following players are safe. Lindsay, Bridgette, Ezekiel, and the final bag goes to..." "Wait!" Harold stood up and walked to Chris. "It was I who brought dishonor to our team! Only one thing can restore the balance!" He pulled out a toy lightsaber and jammed it into his stomach. "Please forgive me, teammates! I hope my sacrifice will make amends!" He fell down and crawled to the exit. He crawled out, and Chris walked to the door. "Dude, you forgot your parachute!" He threw it out the door. "You might need that! Good luck, Harold!"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Cold, Cold Heart

While the jet flew to the next location, Team Chris and Team Victory were hanging out in the economy class area. Sierra was talking to Lindsay. "So, does Cody like foot massages?", Sierra asked. "No, he doesn't like having his feet touched", Lindsay told her. Sierra sighed. "Too bad, I'm a great massage therapist." She grinned wickedly. "Did you know there's a pressure point between the tarsal bones that can temporarily paralyze the body? Ooh, I'd love to try it out on him..." Lindsay looked confused. "I thought only fish had tarsals... and aren't they tarsal FINS?" "Those are dorsal fins", Noah said. "Oh. Wait, Sierra, do you think Cody has fins?" Noah facepalmed and Sierra sighed.

Chris walked through the entryway, smiling. "And, how is everyone back here?", he asked. "That is what I would ask if I cared. Coming through, make way..." "Where are we headed, yo?", Ezekiel asked. "Hopefully somewhere without giant pinballs, eh." "Or pandas", DJ said. "Or candied fish tails", Noah added. Owen woke up from his nap and looked around. "Huh, what? Fish tails? Where?" "Our next destination is everything you've just asked for", Chris told them.

_Confession Cam: Sierra_

"_Thanks to my extensive viewings and reviewings and re-reviwings of seasons one and two, I can safely say with no uncertainty that Chris was serious about that. Too serious. He's hiding something, but I don't know what..."_

Chris left the area and the plane started shaking. The teens screamed and were tossed around. Chef turned on the intercom. "We've got some nasty air bumps. Strap yourselves to a seat, over!" They did so, and most of them calmed down. "Aah, we're gonna die!", Owen screamed. Alejandro pinched Owen's shoulder and he fell asleep. Up in the cockpit, Chef was talking to Chris. "Should we stop shaking the plane and level out?", Chef asked. Chris pondered this for a minute. "Hmm... nah!" He and Chef laughed.

Chef kept flying until they reached their destination, and landed poorly. One by one, the contestants walked out of the jet and fell onto the snow. Chris walked out last. "Welcome to the Yukon!", he said. He led the shivering, snow coated teens to a starting line at the edge of a half frozen river. "Umm, hello? Can we get some jackets?", Heather asked. "Relax, I ordered coats for everyone", Chris said. The teens cheered. "They won't be ready for weeks, but as soon as they arrive, I'll be sure to hand them out." The teens groaned. "Maybe we should huddle for warmth?", Courtney said. Lindsay and Sierra hugged Cody. Izzy hugged Alejandro. Noah hugged Bridgette, but she pushed him away. "I have a g... girlfriend!", she said. Owen walked up and hugged Noah. "You can cuddle me, buddy!" Alejandro smiled at Bridgette. She smiled back. "Must be a bit chilly without mittens", Chris said. Chef walked up to Chris. "Cocoa?" "Don't mind if I do!" Chris took a cup from him and sipped it. "Aah, much better." "You gonna finish that?", Owen asked. "Of course he is, it's Chris's favorite drink!", Sierra said. "Wrong! My-" "Second only to tomato juice." "That's not on the fan site... how'd you-" Sierra walked up to Chris. "I went to your high school and interviewed all your old teachers for the biography I'm writing. They said-" Chris covered her mouth.

"Okay, okay, moving on!", Chris said. "Crossing the icy river in Canada's frozen tundra used to be easy, back when the river was frozen solid. But, thanks to climate changes, earth is becoming a lot more interesting. By which I mean... deadly!" Izzy cheered. "Today's challenge is called Total Drama Icicle. Teams must make their way across this watery chasm by jumping from ice floe to ice floe. First team member across must make their way to the dog sleds on the far shore and become the dog, pulling the sled all the way to the finish line, picking up the rest of your team along the way at marked meeting points. Sleds are first come, first serve, so move fast. Don't worry. If you fall into the water, I'm sure one of your teammates will be kind enough to help you."

Tyler turned to Noah and Owen, and smirked. "You guys ready for some mad ice floe jumping? Cause this guy is kickin' it into high gear!" Meanwhile, Bridgette was talking to her team. "Whoever doesn't land near the sled should head for the finish line. That way, we won't lose time stopping at every meeting point." Ezekiel smiled. "Sounds good, eh!" Heather walked up to Chris. "What is the reward for this challenge?", she asked. "Did I SAY reward?", he asked. Heather glared at him. "We've already had three eliminations. We're overdue!" "It's gotta be a reward this time", Noah said. "There aren't enough of us for Chris to cut someone in every episode for a full season." Chris smiled. "Yeah, but I've found teams try harder during elimination challenges. So, this season, there's no set routine! Every challenge could end in elimination." Chris laughed and the teens groaned loudly. "That's the spirit! On your mark, get set, go!"

The contestants ran for the ice floes and began jumping across them. Tyler fell into the water, but Alejandro helped him out. Izzy flipped from one chunk of ice to another, making fast progress. Owen watched in awe. "If crazy can do it, we can do it", Noah told him. "Come on!" Noah jumped onto the first ice floe and crashed. Owen gasped. "Noah, hang on, buddy!" Owen jumped onto the ice chunk and the other end shot up, sending Noah flying. He crash landed on the snow. "So, uh... I'll just go on ahead, okay? Okay, cool!" Meanwhile, Gwen was making steady progress. She landed on an ice floe and smiled. "Wow, so far so- whoa!" The floe split in half and she screamed. Cody saw her and gasped. "Hang on, Gwen!" He ran for her, but crashed into Owen on his way. A polar bear swam up to the boys and they screamed. Sierra ran up and thew an ice chunk at its head. "Bad polar bear! I am not about to post an obituary on my Cody blog! Got it!" The polar bear swam away. Cody smiled. "Wow, thanks, Sierr- oh, crap!" Cody slipped and fell into the water. Sierra gasped. "I'm coming, Cody!" She pulled a frozen fish out of the river and used it to paddle an ice floe over to him.

Further up the river, Bridgette ran across an ice floe and nearly fell into the river, but Alejandro grabbed her arm. "Whoa... thanks! You know we're on different teams, right?", she asked. "My mother raised a gentleman. Teams are irrelevant", Alejandro told her. Bridgette turned away.

_Confession Cam: Bridgette_

"_When Heather's around, I'm never tempted by other people. But she's on another team, so we haven't spent much time together so far this season... and Alejandro kinda noticed." _

Alejandro jumped to the next ice floe and turned around. "Now it's your turn!", he said. "I can't do it, it's too far!" "Come on, you can do it! Just jump! Quick!" Bridgette jumped. She landed on Alejandro and they fell over, lips touching. Bridgette blushed and ended the kiss. "Um, thank you for... catching me!", she said. Alejandro smiled. "Mm... thank YOU for kissing me." Bridgette got up. "That was an accident." "One man's accident is another man's treasure." Bridgette sighed and looked away. "I kinda have a girlfriend..." "You have a girlfriend, or you, mmm, kiiinda have a girlfriend?" "I have a girlfriend! Okay?"

_Confession Cam: Bridgette _

"_I got kinda flustered. But I am NOT falling for him, mark my words!"_

Sierra rowed her ice floe to Cody and pulled him out of the water. "Oh, dear Cody! If one of us drowns, I want it to be me!" Cody spat out some water and groaned. "M-me too..." "Oh, you need to get to shore fast!" Sierra picked Cody up and threw him toward the other side of the river. "Go, Cody!" He hit a wall and fell into a pile of snow. Then, some snow fell and landed on him. "Cody!" Meanwhile, Alejandro picked Bridgette up and jumped to the last ice floe, then to the other side of the river. She smiled, then gasped and glared at him. "Wait! Are you trying to make a secret alliance with me?" "Alliance? Bridgette, for me, this is so much bigger than a game." "Oh..." Alejandro pulled Bridgette toward him and they both smiled.

DJ hopped across the river and landed by the sleds. Ezekiel got to the other side of the river next. He jumped off his ice floe by Chris. "Not to shabby, huh?" Chris rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever, Zeke." Ezekiel sighed and walked to the sleds. He found DJ and waved. "Yo, DJ! You picked a great sled, eh! ...DJ?" DJ sniffled and cried a bit. "Sorry... Being back in Canada makes me miss my mama. All this ice... it's just like her freezer!" DJ nodded. "I know what you mean, bro. It's just like my mom's, too." Next up, Courtney and Heather arrived. Chris walked up to them. "Courtney, first Amazon to arrive. Pick a sled and start pulling." Courtney glared at Chris. "Heather got here at the exact same time! We should both pull the sled!" "Yeah... no. In the event of a tie, we go alphabetically." "Heather, help me out here?" Heather climbed into the sled. "What can I do, Courtney? I didn't make the alphabet."

Tyler ran up to Chris and the sleds, and got one with a large crate tied to it. "Oh no!" "Fraid so", Chris said. Tyler looked at the box. "Wait, that's a hazard sign. Is that box radioactive?" Chris shrugged. "Meh, what isn't radioactive these days?" Tyler groaned and strapped himself to the sled. Meanwhile, DJ got strapped to the other one. He and Ezekiel started up the mountain to the finish line. "Team Victory for the win, yo!", Zeke shouted. Courtney called after them. "Wait, how does the harness work?" DJ turned around. "Don't spill the beans, eh!" DJ nodded. "Nice sportsmanship. Try not to maim too many animals out there today!", Heather shouted. DJ started crying. Then, Team Chris left. Heather pulled out a whip and snapped it at Courtney. "Mush!" Courtney glared at Heather. "Hey, cut that out!" Heather sighed and put the whip away. "Aww, you're no fun." Courtney smiled started running.

Cody walked along, shivering and trying to stay warm. Suddenly, Sierra ran up to him. "How did you find me?", he asked. "Followed your footprints. Pretty easy, really. You're a size seven, and your right foot is at an odd angle." Cody started walking faster to get away. Further up, Heather spotted Gwen in the distance. "Whoa, Courtney! Whoa!" Courtney slowed down as they passed Gwen, who hopped on the back. "Okay, let's keep going!" Meanwhile, Noah and Sierra found Tyler, and DJ and Zeke found Lindsay. Zeke smiled. "Radical! Now we just gotta grab Bridgette, and this challenge is in the bag!" Lindsay cheered, and DJ kept crying.

Alejandro and Bridgette were walking along, and found a flag pole. "A meeting point! Let's wait here", Alejandro said. "I should keep going", Bridgette told him. "Our teams will find us here... save your strength. Cold? Take my shirt." Alejandro pulled his shirt off and Bridgette gasped. "I can't freeze, my Latin blood won't allow it. And if you get sick and your team votes you off, I won't get to know you better. Which would make me very, very sad." "I don't wanna make anyone sad..."

_Confession Cam: Bridgette _

"_I mean, who gives away their shirt in the arctic? Oh, he's just so... I have a girlfriend!"_

Zeke, Lindsay and DJ were going along steadily. Lindsay looked around. "Hey, I don't see any sign posts!", Lindsay said. Zeke looked around too. "Me either! DJ, where the shizzle are we?" "I have no idea! My tears froze my eyes shut!" Lindsay gasped. "Ooh, you should try warming your eyes up!" "Gee, really!" DJ kept running and Zeke gasped. "Dude, baby seal!" DJ kept running and hit the seal, which was sent flying but landed in the river. "Did I seriously just hit a baby seal!" "Yeah, he landed in the river!" "Well, he can swim, right?" "Dude, we have a challenge to win! The seal's fine, eh!" DJ sighed. "Okay... fine."

Alejandro and Bridgette watched the horizon. After a while, they saw Team Chris approaching. "Well, I guess this is my ride", Al said. "But I can't leave you here all alone..." Bridgette took Al's shirt off and gave it to him. "Go on. I'll race you to the finish." Alejandro smirked. "I think we've got enough time for one more... accident..." Bridgett turned away, then back to Alejandro. She leaned toward him, and kissed the flag pole. Alejandro got on his team's sled and left. Bridgette watched, unable to move. "Alw, crap!" Meanwhile, Team Amazon found Cody and Izzy. Gwen gasped. "Cody, are you okay?" "Not really, Sierra almost killed me! Do you guys have a blanket?" Up ahead, Team Chris found Owen and he hopped onto the sled. He groaned. "Ohh, I haven't eaten in hours! I wish I were in Russia right now, they're building the world's largest cake!" Sierra gasped. "OMG, what flavor?" "Who cares, it's cake!" Noah rolled his eyes. "Okay, Tyler, we can get moving." "I am moving!" Tyler kept running, but the sled wouldn't budge. "No, no you aren't." Tyler looked down. "Aww, it's my court shoes! They're no good on ice!" He stopped running, and Team Amazon passed them.

Chris drove up to Bridgette on his snowmobile. "Oh dear, how did this happen?" "Awwus kithing Awwejandwo an then hawussa hoah cot en thetheheh!" "Bridgette, you're gonna have to enunciate more clearly." Then, Team Amazon arrived. Heather hopped out of the sled. "Bridgette, what happened?" Bridgette groaned. "It's okay, I'll help you." "Amazons, begone!", Chris said. Bridgette gasped. "No! Poah woam wadur down my faishe!" Chris shrugged. "Wish I could, but I only have the one bottle." He pulled out a water bottle and took a sip. Heather glared at him. "Gimme that!" She snatched the bottle from Chris and poured it on Bridgette's tongue. A few seconds later she was free. Bridgette smiled. "Aww, thanks, Heather!" Heather kissed Bridgette. "Baby, what happened?"

Team Chris was crossing an ice bridge, slowly. Owen was bouncing up and down on the sled. "Come on, hurry up! I need to hit a john or another river fast!" The ice cracked. The sled fell down through the newly formed gap, and Tyler slid toward it. He nearly fell, but grabbed onto the ice. Owen sighed. "Oh, thank goodness! And thank you, Tyler!" Everyone climbed up over Tyler to get back on the ice. Tyler pulled the sled up, and then they kept going, very quickly, with Tyler being dragged behind.

_Confession Cam: Tyler_

"_I've got wicked strong fingers. Docs can't explain it. My first piano lesson, I broke the piano. Got into sports after that."_

Team Victory kept sledding and Lindsay spotted something up ahead. "Look, something that isn't snow!" "That's the end, eh! DJ, speed up!" Lindsay looked around. "I don't see any other sleds! We're gonna be first!" Team Victory cheered. Team Amazon appeared in the distance, and so did Team Chris. DJ pulled his team's sled across the finish line, and then Team Chris sped across it. Courtney finished last. Team Chris cheered, while Heather grumbled. "Last place! I can't believe this!" Chris walked up to her. "Actually, Team Victory crossed the finish line without Bridgette. YOU crossed with her, so they were the last to get their whole team here." Team Victory whined. "Which means Team Amazon is in second place, and Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Crazy Hot takes first." Team Chris cheered again. Bridgette walked over to her team. "Sorry guys..." Heather ran up to them as well. "Listen, the only reason Bridgette wasn't here is because Alejandro tricked her into kissing a flag pole." Ezekiel glared at her. "Wait, you were hanging out with someone on the other team instead of helping ours?" Bridgette frowned. "I said I was sorry..." Heather glared at them. "Hey, give her a break. Alejandro is to blame here, not her."

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_Bridgette... Bridgette told me what happened. She was making out with that Latin loser instead of racing to the finish line. I am SO freaking mad at both of them! I thought I could trust Bridgette! And how dare that punk try to mess with my partner! They're gonna pay, both of them. But Bridgette, I want to deal with personally. Oh, I hope she stays..."_

_Confession Cam: DJ_

"_Bridgette probably only messed up because I DID get a curse in Egypt. I mean, a baby seal? Come on! The only way I'll believe I'm NOT cursed is if I don't get voted off tonight. But I doubt that'll happen."_

After boarding the plane, Team Victory went to the elimination room once again, where Chris was waiting. "Victory, I have peanut filled barf bags for the three of you who get to stay. Lindsay, and... Ezekiel." Chris tossed the bags to them. "So, it's down to DJ and Bridgette. Oh, DJ. Health hazard to pandas, birds, and now baby seals, which you could've avoided if you hadn't cried your eyes frozen shut and gotten your team lost. It's almost as though you're, I dunno, cursed?" DJ started crying. "Bridgette... reasons for you to take the plunge include making out with a pole and crossing the finish line with the wrong team." Chef walked in, and Chris turned to him. "If we're both here, who's flying the plane?" "I have it covered", Chef said. Chris shrugged. "The final barf bag goes to... Bridgette." Bridgette looked confused. "What? Really? Who the heck voted for DJ?" Lindsay raised her hand, and so did DJ. Bridgette, Lindsay and Zeke gasped. DJ stood up and stopped crying. "Yeah, I voted myself off. I did it last time, too. I'm sick of hurting these poor animals! I'm going back home, where I know I can avoid them and keep them safe." He walked over to the exit and put on his parachute. "See you guys at the finale. Try not to hurt anybody!" DJ jumped out of the plane and the rest of the team went to the door and watched him descend. Bridgette sighed.

_Confession Cam: Bridgette _

"_I know I should be happy I'm still in the game. And I am, sorta. But still, I feel like it should've been me taking that jump..."_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Bad Apples

The next morning, as the jet flew south, Team Chris was having breakfast. Tyler smiled and ate his cereal. "Aww, man, first class rocks!", he said. Alejandro nodded. "Today we have the breakfast of champions." Meanwhile, Sierra was getting a massage. "Ohhh, yeah, that's the spot..." Nearby, Owen rolled over in his sleep, fell of a couch and revealed Noah. "Ugh, finally!" He sat up and glared at his team. "Thanks for not noticing I was missing all night! What am I, Tyler?" "Hey!"

Meanwhile, Team Amazon and Team Victory were going without breakfast. "Stupid economy section. What is that horrible smell?", Heather asked. "Defeat", Gwen said. "We could have won if we hadn't stopped to help Bridgette", Courtney said. Heather glared at her. "I'm not gonna just abandon my partner, even if she is on the other team." Gwen smirked at Courtney. "First chance we get, I'll totally help you vote her off." Courtney smiled. "Gladly. Can we WHIP her off?"

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_Whip me off? Not if I can prove my worth to the team. Or, manipulate Izzy and Cody into forming an alliance with me. Whatever works." _

Heather slid over on the bench toward Izzy and Cody. "Hey, buddies! Have I mentioned how much I value your friendship?", she asked. Cody scowled at her. "You've only spoken to me three times, ever. Including now." Izzy smiled. "Aww, you're so nice now, Heather!" She jumped onto Heather's head and hugged her, knocking her over. Meanwhile, Team Victory was talking on the other bench. "This bites, eh. How're we gonna win when there's only three of us left?", Zeke asked. Lindsay smiled. "Enough downy talk, you guys! We aren't quitters, we're fighters! And we're winners!" Bridgette smiled. "Yeah... we ARE Team Victory, aren't we?"

_Confession Cam: Lindsay_

"_I packed a season's supply of lip gloss, and I've barely finished one tube! No way am I going home yet."_

Alejandro walked into the economy class, carrying some junk food. "Ladies? I've smuggled a few things out of first class", he said. "I'd better not. I might break ou... is that a Snuffers bar?" Lindsay squealed and took a chocolate bar from Alejandro. "Izzy, you want some too?" Heather pushed Izzy off her head and glared at Alejandro. "I don't think so. We never trust the enemy, especially the excessively, disgustingly flirty ones." Izzy giggled. "Ooh, he's the enemy? Fun!"

_Confession Cam: Alejandro_

"_Of course Heather's plotting with Izzy! She makes a new alliance every season! And Izzy's crazy enough to not ask questions. Ohh, she's good."_

Chris brought the contestants to a boat in storage room. "Take a seat, grab a handle, and I'll tell you where we're going!" Tyler chuckled. "A boat? Shouldn't we have parachutes or something?" "Why are you the only one wearing a life jacket?", Noah asked. Chris smirked. "Cause there's thirteen of you, but only one valuable me. Hit it, Chef!" In the cockpit, Chef pulled a lever, and the boat fell through a trap door in the plane. It landed in a river and Chris started driving. "Welcome to New York City!"

_Confession Cam: Lindsay_

"_New York, New York? Do you know how many stores there are here? I'm gonna buy like ten seasons' worth of lip gloss without even trying!"_

Chris brought the boat up to the side of the river, near the statue of liberty, and everyone got out. "Your first challenge is a carriage race to central park, which I like to call 'liberty or death'", Chris said. Owen applauded. "Oh, I've always dreamed of riding a horse drawn carriage!" Courtney glared at her team. "Don't even THINK about making me the horse, Heather." "Slow down, conclusion jumpers! It's a BABY carriage race!" Zeke looked around. "Where are the carriages, eh?" Chris pointed to the top of the statue. "Yeah... hope you brought your climbing gloves." The contestants groaned and whined, except Sierra. "LOL, Chris. I think your mischievous spirit makes the game", she said. Chris smiled. "Thank you, Sierra! It's nice to be appreciated!" Sierra walked up to him. "Appreciated? I love you! I always did! Even waaaaay back, when you were making those terrible movies about talking cats." The other contestants started laughing. "I was even going to call my first fan club the Christians, but that name was already taken." Chris pushed Sierra away.

"Okay! Less chatter, more splatter! Er, climbing! More climbing. We'll leave the splatter to fate", Chris said. "Anywho, once you reach lady liberty's crown, pull up your rope to bring the rest of your team up faster. Once everyone is up, your team grabs a carriage off the spikes, races back down to the dock and grabs a boat, and follows the buoys to your next exciting destination: central park!" Lindsay raised her hand. "Um, so when do we go shopping?" "You don't." Lindsay fell to the ground, screaming. "NOOOOO!"

Chris led the teams to three ropes. He blew a whistle and the teens started climbing. Alejandro started climbing first. Then, Izzy grabbed onto her team's rope. "Look, I'm a rabid monkey!" Meanwhile, the rest of Team Amazon was talking. "I know exactly how we should climb", Courtney said. Gwen raised an eyebrow. "You're not gonna suggest we billet again, are we? Cause that worked sooo well in Egypt." "But... no, I... never mind." She grabbed the rope and started climbing. Gwen and Heather did the same. "No way am I losing this challenge!", Heather shouted. Cody started climbing last. DJ grabbed his team's rope, then pulled his hand back. "Oww! What are these ropes made of!" "Steel wool. Strong and rough, just like the big apple", Chris told him. DJ sighed and started climbing, whining in pain the whole way. Sierra climbed up after Alejandro, who talked to her. "Hey, Sierra? Do you ever think Chris misses the old days? And thinks no one remembers, or cares?" Sierra frowned. "Oh, you're right... I remember! I care!"

A while later, Chris shouted down to the teens from the top of the statue. "It's been twenty five blister busting minutes, and none of you are up here yet! You guys are bumming me out!" Ten minutes later, half the contestants were at the top and pulling the ropes up. Chris was still whining. "Come on, come on! I'm tired, I'm hungry, and I gotta pee!" Team Amazon kept pulling their rope, and finally Cody made it up. They cheered. "I'll get the carriage, which is something only a really valuable teammate would do!", Heather said. She ran to get the carriage. Meanwhile, Sierra climbed up to the top of the statue and ran to Chris. "Hey Chris, did you know I own every one of your TV appearances? Even your cooking show, Keep it Plain with Chris McLean! Your recipe for white rice was amazing! It's totally unfair you got canceled after one episode." The other teens laughed and Chris crossed his arms. "I was going through a phase, okay?"

Heather got back to her team with the carriage. "Like I said, valuable!" "How do we get back down?", Courtney asked. Chris walked over to a hole in the top of the statue. "Fireman's pole, anyone? It's only a thirty story drop!" Team Amazon walked over to it. "Ladies first", Cody said. Gwen sighed. "Well, someone's gotta do it... here goes." She grabbed the pole and slid down, screaming the whole way until she crashed at the bottom. "I'm okay!", she screamed. The others followed her lead. Team Victory finished next and did the same. Meanwhile, Owen was stuck in the statue's nose.

Team Amazon ran to the dock and hopped in their boat. Courtney started the engine and sped off, but Cody fell off. Gwen gasped. "Cody!" "Turn around!", he shouted. Up at the top of the statue, Owen finally made it up. Alejandro got the carriage and the others slid down the fireman's pole. Owen got stuck. "Oh, crap... can you gimme a push, Al?" Alejandro nodded and raised the carriage over his head. "Oh, great big apple!" Alejandro bashed it on Owen's head and he fell down. Then, Al slid down the pole. Team Chris and Team Victory reached their boats and sped off while Team Amazon came back to get Cody. "Great! We've gone from first place to last!", Heather whined.

Team Victory sped ahead. "Yeah, we're totally in first place!", Lindsay said. "We're the bomb, eh! Now how do we get to the park from here?", Zeke asked. Bridgette shrugged. "I dunno, I'm just following the buoys!" She steered the boat and followed the next one into the sewer. "Ugh! There had better be a reward this time!", Bridgette said. The other teams followed them, groaning and trying not to get too dirty. After a while, they heard an odd groaning sound. "Was that an alligator?", Lindsay asked. "Sewer gators are just a myth, eh. They come up with this stuff to scare tourists." Meanwhile, Team Chris heard the same thing. Tyler looked around. "You hear that? It sounded like a-" Suddenly, a giant alligator jumped out of the water and attacked their boat. It missed, jumping over them. When it landed, Team Amazon drove their boat over it. It chased them until the end of the sewer pipe, where it got stuck.

The teams got to a dock on the river and cheered. "Yes, we did it!" "We're alive!" "Let's go again!", Izzy shouted. Chris walked up to the teams, wearing a gas mask. "Whoa, nasty! That's the kind of stink that never comes out!" He turned to Chef and said "make the gator sign a waiver so we can show it on TV." Chef grumbled, jumped in the river and swam to the sewer to do so. Sierra smiled. "Chris, you are such a brilliant commander! That's why you always stood out in your boy band." "Whoa, whoa! Chris was in a boy band?", Owen asked. Sierra nodded. "Back in the nineties he was. _Making trouble is easy to do, but making you love me is painful!", _she sang. Gwen looked at Chris in disbelief. "You were in Fame Town?" Everyone started laughing, except Chris and Sierra. "I really admire the way you never let mockery get to you. I'll have to include that in your obituary", Sierra said. "I already have a draft. Wanna hear? Okay. Chris McLean was born in nineteen seventy eight-" "That is it! Zip it! Permanently!"

_Confession Cam: Alejandro_

"_That stupid Sierra! I thought her Chris obsession would help us earn his favor, but instead it backfired completely! Now what am I gonna do?"_

Chris led the teens over to a chalk board. "Alright, people, time for the second challenge: bobbing for big apples, NYC style. Here's how it's gonna go down. Teams must push their carriages along one of the three paths to central park's turtle pond. There, one member of each team will bob for some very special apples, using only their mouths. No hands. Once they get it to shore, the rest of the team must load it into their carriages and race to the finish line in the heart of central park. And what's a baby carriage without a baby?" Owen raised his hand. "Ooh, ooh, a shopping cart!" "It was a rhetorical question." Sierra sighed. "Oh, Chris, that is so-" "Zip it!" Chris glared at Sierra. "One member of each team must ride in their carriage and stay there, all the way to the finish line. "Cody", the Amazon girls said in unison. "I'll do it", Noah said. "And I'll do it for Team Victory! I love it when people call me baby", Lindsay said. "I know you do, baby!", Cody said. Lindsay giggled. "Team Victory got here first, so they get the shortest path to the pond", Chris explained. "Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot gets the longer path, and Team Amazon gets the longest of all. Now get going!"

The teams raced though New York to the park, making a few stops along the way, and arrived at the same time. "How are the other teams here too? I thought we got the shortest path!", Lindsay said. "You're the one who wanted a cappuccino, eh!", Zeke told her. "And what the shizzle is up with that whack fruit!" "Remember, no hands!", Chris said. Ezekiel smirked. "Good thing I'm a champ at bobbing for apples back home, eh." Courtney waded into the lake. "I have perfect posture, so I can just carry the apple on my head." Alejandro turned to his team. Tyler smiled. "No problem, I've totally got this one!" He jumped in the water and landed on the bottom at the shallow end. Alejandro sighed. He turned to Heather and Izzy and smiled. "Central park is so romantic, don't you find?" Izzy smiled, but Heather rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I told you before, no trusting the enemy. So back off and leave my team alone, or you'll wish you had." "My wish doesn't involve backing off..." "Ugh! Just go play with your stupid team and leave us alone!" "You're beautiful when you play hard to get." Heather glared and growled at Alejandro. "I'm going..." "You bet you are! Right out of the game!"

Alejandro swam to one of the apples and started blowing on it. "It's not working!" "Come on, man! Use your head!", Al shouted. Tyler began headbutting the apple. Meanwhile, Zeke started dragging one of the apples with his teeth. Courtney dove under the last apple and started walking back to shore. "Go, Courtney!", Gwen cheered. "Hurry!", Heather shouted. Tyler got his team's apple to shore. Al handed it to Noah, Owen pulled Tyler out of the water and Alejandro smiled. "Come on, let's go while we're in the lead!" Ezekiel finished next, and gave the apple to Lindsay. "All hail to the Zeke!" Bridgette glared at him. "We can hail when we win, now come on!" As they left, Courtney got to shore with her apple and dropped it on Cody. "Hurry!", Heather shouted. She started pushing the cart and the others followed her.

Team Chris found Chris and Chef at a fountain in the park and cheered. "We did it!" "We're awesome!" Chris applauded. "And the winner of the New York challenge is Team Me!" The other teams arrived. "Team Victory, you lose again. You know what that means, right?" Bridgette frowned. "Elimination time again?" Chris nodded. "Yes, but you won't have to go through with it, because this is a reward challenge!" Team Victory cheered, Heather smirked and Alejandro frowned.

Chris brought Team Chris to the elimination room on the plane. "As the winners of this reward challenge, Team Amazon gets to keep or dump the prizes contained in the apples. So, have at it, guys", Chris said. He tossed a hammer to Noah. He dragged it over to the first apple and smashed it open. A ton of candy fell out. Owen ran over to Noah. "Hey, buddy! Are you gonna-" "Yes. You can have half of it", Noah said. Owen hugged Noah. "Thank you, thank you!" Owen started eating his half, and Noah shoved his into his pockets. Alejandro walked up to the second apple and punched a hole in it. He tore part of the shell away, and a bunch of apples fell out. "Well, apples are nice. One a day keeps the doctor away." "Who gets the last one?", Tyler said. Chris glared at them. "Anyone but Sierra." Sierra frowned and Tyler ran up to his apple. He broke it open and an odd device fell out. "What the heck, a meat grinder? You guys get candy and stuff, and I get this piece of junk?" Tyler groaned, pushed the door open and threw the grinder out. "Hmph. Stupid prize..." Chris shrugged. "Well, alright then. Have fun in first class, guys."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Aftermath A

It's the Total Drama World Tour Aftermath Show! The cameras turned on to show the applauding studio audience, then zoomed in on Geoff and Blaineley on the couch in the middle of the stage. Geoff waved at the cameras. "Sup, dudes? Welcome to the Total Drama Aftermath party! I'm Geoff..." "And I'm Blaineley Stacy Andrews O'Halloran", Blaineley said. "I'm sure you recognize me from such entertaining programs as Celebrity Manhunt." "But, today we're here to talk about Total Drama World Tour!" "We've got the juiciest dirt, and the dirtiest juice. Everything you ever wanted to hear dished about season three." "Plus, special guests and wicked surprises. But first, let's introduce my other friends", Geoff said. "You mean the other sad bystanders who can't even play this season?", Blaineley asked. The audience laughed. "Please welcome Eva, Sadie and Katie, Trent, Justin and Beth!" The camera turned toward the rejects, who waved.

"So, how do you guys feel about the fact that it's Geoff's fault you're all out of the game?", Blaineley asked. "Hey! I tried to organize us into a rescue party!", Geoff whined. "And your your rescue party has to sit and watch everyone else play for a million." "I threw a great consolation party, with a pinata!" Trent glared at Geoff. "Geoff, that was my guitar. I kept telling you." "Being on that show is way too tough on the bod", Justin said. "And I don't need a million dollars. Got it!", Eva shouted. "What about the free trip around the world?", Blaineley asked. Beth shook her head. "With Chris and Chef torturing us? No thank you." "But what about all your old friends hanging out, without you?" "We have each other!", Sadie said. Katie pulled Trent in for a group hug.

"Guess they're just being honest. But what about you, Geoff? Any regrets?", Blaineley asked. Geoff rolled his eyes. "Please, I'd rather host this aftermath show than go through more drama." Blaineley smirked. "Care to prove it with a game of Truth or Hammer?" "Sure, uh, why not? Couldn't be happier." The hammer swung down and nearly hit Geoff. "Nice moves, Geoff. Almost nicer than the moves Alejandro made on Izzy." "Happy happy happy! Happy hap- WHOA!" The hammer took a few more swings at Geoff, who dodged and hid behind a couch. "Look at the time, game over! Better get on to our next segment, huh?" Geoff walked back to the couch at center stage. "We'll be spending time with everyone who's left the show since the season began." "Everyone we could find, at least", Blaineley said.

"One of our contestants has gone AWOL, which leads us to our new segment, as designed by moi: Total Drama Fugitives!" The TV screen above her turned on and showed some clips of Duncan. "After refusing to sing, Duncan was the first contestant in Total Drama history to quit", Geoff said. "Only Duncan would throw away a chance at a million. Idiot!", Trent said. "What's weird is Duncan didn't come home", Blaineley said. "He was last seen hanging from a large, fruited bush willow in Africa. But since then, nothing. Duncan's totally disappeared." "So we spread the word and our viewers responded like never before, with some seriously incredible sightings and photos."

"Let's look at a video captured by... Amish McTavish of Loch Ness." The TV showed a black and white picture of a mohawked head sticking out of the water. "Real sighting, or fake?" "Total f-" Blaineley pinched Geoff's mouth shut. "We sent a roving reporter to interview our eyewitness." The video cut to Eva doing an interview with a short bearded man. "So, you gotta tell me what you saw", Eva said. "Ach, the loch was loamin', I'd been gloamin' and eyes are formin' te-" "What are you SAYING! Ah, forget this!" Eva threw a microphone down and it hit the bearded man between the legs. The video ended. "The sighting was clearly a massive fake", Geoff said. "Fine, don't believe. But just days later, we had another sighting from Drolhat in Sweden." The TV showed some footage of a young man running through the forest at night. He fell down a cliff and started swearing. The video ended. "What about that one? Real? Fake?" "Tough to tell. It was pretty dark", Geoff said. "Either way, the question remains: where is Duncan now?" "Nobody can find him! Not even everyone's fave host, Chris McLean." "Chris is looking for Duncan?", Beth asked. "Chris has the Drama Machine looking for him", Blaineley told her. "So, keep those Duncan sightings coming. He can't hide from us forever!"

Blaineley turned the TV off. "So, the manhunt is great, Geoff. But you know who I'm really wanting to spend time with?" "Today's first Aftermath guest, Harold!" The audience cheered and Harold ran onstage. "Welcome to the show, Harold! Please, take a seat!" Geoff pushed Harold over to the couch near Blaineley's. "Let's take a look at the dramatic events that brought Harold to this moment." The TV turned on again and showed some clips from Harold's time on season three. It ended quickly, and Harold looked at the screen in disbelief. "It's over? I was on the show for three seasons, and I don't even get thirty seconds of clips?" "Yeah. Sorry you got booted, dude." "Correction, Geoff. I booted myself. But where's that in the recap? Where are all my wicked skills?" Harold stood up and pulled out a pair of nunchucks. He flailed them around and hit himself in the face.

"Well then, Harold, have we got a recap for you!", Blaineley said. The TV turned on and showed a series of clips. Harold was talking about various random facts, including bladder size and palindromes, and then getting beaten up and Leshawna rolling her eyes. Then the video ended. "Even Leshawna? Seriously, Harold?", Blaineley asked. "She rolls her eyes all the time. Maybe she has an eye tic." "One that only happens when you talk? Right. Or maybe she's just not that into you." The audience sighed and so did Harold. "Hey, maybe you can ask her yourself? Let's bring in our next guest, Leshawna!"

Leshawna walked onstage, scowling, while the audience cheered. She took a seat next to Harold but turned away from him. "Hey, Leshawna! What's up?", Geoff asked. "Nothing", she said. "How's it going?" "Fine." Geoff frowned. "Are you okay?" Leshawna glared at him. "I'm fine!" Blaineley smirked. "Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed..." Leshawna groaned. "Alright, you want the truth? The truth is I feel like crap! I just lost my chance at a million dollars, again! You don't know how much it hurts to get voted off first, two seasons in a row. And now Harold's out, too!" Blaineley raised an eyebrow. "Why does that part matter?" "Harold's my friend, I care about him a lot. Seeing him lose hurts almost as bad as losing myself." Harold turned to Leshawna. "Gosh... you really mean that?" She hugged him. "Of course I do! Leshawna don't lie, Harold." Harold smiled. "So... does this mean you like me?" Leshawna nodded. "I like you as a friend. A really good friend. But that's it, okay? You go try to win Heather over or something." Harold shook his head. "No, I don't think so. Heather's alright, but you're just amazing."

Harold walked over to to Trent and Justin. "Time for a little Drama Brothers performance!", he said. Katie, Sadie and Blaineley squealed. The guys huddled for a minute, then turned to the audience. "This is a new song I've been working on, for Leshawna."

_You might think I know it all, and maybe I'm headed for a fall. I'm just that brainiac guy, left alone to sit and cry. Honey, I've some questions for you first. Girl, take some time to school me... quench my thirst... for knowledge. Cause, gosh... I've just gotta know..._

_How'd you get so hot? Baby! You're so smokin' hot! Baby!_

_My physics know-how ain't got a hope of explaining why you're butt's so dope! Baby! You bend my space and time continuum, the way you shake what your mama gave you-em! Baby!_

_I don't even hardly know my name! Baby! Cause when you walk in the room, nobody lookin' the same!_

_Baby, baby, baby! Gosh!_

Harold started beat boxing and the audience went wild. "You think we might need some security out here?", Geoff asked. "Marry me, Justin!", Blaineley shouted. She fainted and the song continued.

_I demand a scientific investigation of whether you're even from the human nation! I swear, you're changing my molecular structure! With all your sexy ions, you make my heart rupture!_

Harold fell over and the song ended. While Geoff helped Blaineley get back up, Leshawna ran over to Harold to help him. She picked him up and gave him a bear hug, smiling. "Harold baby, that was great! Never thought you'd write a song for me..." Harold smiled. "Of course I would! Beauty like yours deserves it." Leshawna kissed Harold and the audience cheered. She put him down and blushed. "So, uh... that's your reward for playin' that sweet song. But that's all, got it? We're just friends." Harold smirked. "Sure, Leshawna. Whatever you say..." Leshawna smacked Harold and he fell over. Leshawna walked away, still smiling.

Blaineley sat down on the couch, holding an ice pack to her head, and said "As we've just proved, Total Drama is the most dramatic show in the history of drama!" "And Blaineley just proved she's not as cool as she thinks she is", Geoff said. "In entertainment news, the Drama Brothers just caused a minor riot here." "Trent and Justin were last seen on foot, running for their lives from a school bus!" "Let's go to the scene and see what we can find out!" The TV screen turned on and showed Eva and a janitor. "Eva, can you tell us what you saw?", Blaineley asked. "A whole bunch of dumb girls chasing Justin and Trent." "And what did these girls look like?" "Dumb, like a bunch of dumb girls in dumb plaid skirts, like kilts..." "Kilts... a school bus... could be a private girls' school! Eva, what color were the kilts?" "Plaid and dumb! Ah, forget this!" Eva threw down her microphone, which hit the janitor between the legs, and stormed off. The video ended.

"Well, it's time to bring in our next guest!", Blaineley said. "But first, time for my favorite Aftermath segment: That's Gonna Leave a Mark!" Geoff picked up the remote and turned on the TV. The clips shown, in order, were Alejandro running into a pipe in the sewers, DJ getting attacked by a panda on the plane, and Tyler slipping on ice chunks in the Yukon. The video ended, and Geoff and the audience laughed. "Hey Blaineley, remember earlier when you asked if we wished we were back in the game?", Geoff asked. "Actually I have a headache..." "Watching that makes it all worthwhile. I would totally rather be here, chilling, partying and chatting." "If you like chatting so much, can we finish up with our last guest?" Geoff shook his head. "Nope, I've got one more clip to play. It's a new segment I call This Week in Random Violence. Check it out!" The TV showed Izzy and Geoff fighting over a camel in Egypt. It ended when the camel sat on Chef, and the audience laughed. "Man, that is was crazy cool chick. And crazy hot, too!", Geoff said.

Blaineley turned off the TV and tossed the remote away. "Okay, time for our last guest, the cursed contestant, DJ!" The audience cheered as DJ walked onstage. He nervously walked over to the couch by Geoff and Blaineley and sat down. "Is it safe out here? There aren't any animals hidden somewhere, right?", DJ asked. Geoff nodded. "It's cool, dude. No animals will be harmed during the filming of this program." DJ smiled. "Cool." Blaineley cleared her throat. "So, DJ. What did you think of the musical part of the show?" DJ shrugged. "It's a great idea, but not if Chris has to force everyone to sing. Duncan walked out on him, so he cut that aspect out of the show. Maybe he could try a Canadian Idol style season next year." Blaineley nodded. "And what about that curse from Egypt?" DJ screamed and jumped behind the couch. "Don't remind me! I'm done with Egypt and anything from there." Blaineley smirked. "Oh really? So you wouldn't like to see... this mummy!" Blaineley pulled a remote out of her pocket, pressed a button on it, and a sarcophagus fell from the ceiling. DJ screamed and tried to run away, but some interns stopped him from leaving. Two of them dragged him back to the couch. He was still screaming. "I'm sorry, mister mummy guy, I didn't mean to hurt your dog!" "Dude, it was already dead! Get a hold of yourself!", Eva shouted. "But I'm cursed! I'm cursed because I hurt that mummy dog!" Eva threw a chair at his head and knocked him over. "Shut up!"

Eva stormed offstage. "I'm sick of this whining and screaming! See ya later, losers!", she shouted. After a minute, Geoff picked up the thrown chair and DJ sat back down on the couch. "So, you really think you're cursed", Blaineley said. DJ nodded. "And I bet you think you lost because of the curse, too." DJ shook his head. "Nuh-uh. I lost because I voted myself off so I could ESCAPE the curse. If I go back home, I can just stay inside forever and stay away from animals, keeping them and myself safe." Blaineley groaned. "That is sooo boring! DJ, if this curse is real, you could make a fortune on TV appearances!" "Why the heck would I wanna do that!" "For entertainment!", Blaineley shouted. She stood up and crossed her arms. "This show is Total Drama, not Total Snorefest!" "I don't care about entertaining people! I just want my mama..." Blaineley growled, picked up a TV and threw it. "I hate this show!" She picked up a chair and threw that as well. Then, two interns walked up and dragged her offstage. "They'd better get me my old job back. I'm never doing this show again! Never, ever!" Geoff shrugged. "Well... since one of the hosts is gone, I guess that's it for today. Be sure to stay tuned for the next part of Total Drama World Tour!"


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Sweet and Sauerkraut

On their way to the next location, Team Chris was talking in the first class section. "Five challenges and no eliminations. If we were a steak, we'd be a thirty two ounce Porterhouse!", Owen said. "And Team Victory would be a tiny slice of bologna." Owen laughed, and Alejandro nodded. "Savor victory while you can, everyone. Even I can't guarantee it'll last long." "Are you kidding? With you as our leader, nothing is impossible! Heck, I'm not even afraid of flying anymore!" Owen began dancing around until the plane shook. Noah ran over and slapped him. "Owen, settle down! You may not be afraid anymore, but I'M starting to get scared thanks to you." Owen laughed. "Sorry, buddy." Sierra rolled her eyes.

_Confession Cam: Sierra_

"_Sure, it's great that we're winning, but at this rate the whole team is gonna get OCTBI syndrome. We're gonna get so overconfident that we won't put enough effort into the challenges, and then totally bomb. OMG, I'm worried about that... though, Team Amazon might get it too. Oh, I hope they don't vote Cody off if they lose..."_

Meanwhile, in the economy class, Cody and Lindsay were looking out the windows. "Ooh, I think we're over Europe!", Lindsay said. "Do you think we'll get to visit Italy? I wanna see the Malloseum." Cody turned toward Lindsay. "Do you mean the Colosseum?" Lindsay looked at Cody, confused. "Wait, it's not like a giant mall?" Cody leaned toward Lindsay and kissed her. "They have malls there. If we go to Italy, I'll try to find you some." Lindsay smiled. "Aww, thanks..." Cody blushed. "No problem."

_Confession Cam: Lindsay_

"_Cody is sooo into me! It's too bad we're on separate teams. Hopefully we'll both make it to the merge again this season..."_

The jet kept flying and approached its destination. Chris turned on the intercom. "Achtung, mein wiener schnitzels! In preparation for landing, please unbuckle your seat belts and head to the cargo hold." The teens all did so, but when they arrived, Chris was nowhere to be found. "Now what?", Bridgette asked. Right on cue, the trap door below them opened. They fell down, onto some snow on the side of a mountain. Alejandro caught Bridgette on her way down, but Heather pulled Bridgette out of his arms and glared at him. He just smirked in response. Then, Chris came down, using a parachute and a large fan to propel himself. "Guten tag, und wilkommen von Deutschland, AKA Germany", he said. "We're in avalanche territory, so you might wanna keep it down." Lindsay gasped. "What! There's a sale at the Khaki Barn!" She squealed, loudly, and a chunk of snow fell down nearby. Cody covered her mouth. Then, Chris continued talking. "To avoid a potentially fatal tumble down the mountain, and a sucktacular climb back up, you'd better stay quiet."

Chris flew off, and the teens walked after him. Lindsay looked around and sighed. "Oh, it's so romantic! Cody, wouldn't it be great to go skiing here?" Cody smiled. "Sure, especially if we could share some hot chocolate after that." Lindsay picked Cody up and hugged him. "Aww, you're sweeter than ANY chocolate!" Tyler turned to them and shouted "Lindsay, keep it down!" The mountain shook and an avalanche tumbled down to the teens from the peak. They were swept up and hurtled to the bottom of the mountain. Chris laughed and followed them down. "That was awesome!", he said.

The contestants started climbing back up the mountain. After a while, Owen sniffed the air and went wide eyed. "I smell... fooood!" He raced up the mountain and found Chris standing by a large machine and a pile of meat. "Food! It's beautiful!" He knelt down by the meat pile and started eating. Chris chuckled. "Easy, tiger. Don't think of this as raw meat. Think of this as raw building material. Over fifteen hundred kinds of sausage call Germany home, hence the theme of our most efficient challenge yet!" Chef jumped out of the meat pile and shouted "Shut up and stuff it!" "Danke, Chef. Each team must make a giant German sausage by shoveling meat into the grinder. Push it down and grind the mixture out into an oversized sausage casing, all without losing a finger or toe." "What about thumbs, are they cool?", Owen asked. "I'm sorry. Sausages? This is the most disgusting challenge yet!", Heather said. Chris smirked. "Count yourselves lucky you aren't making hot dogs. No beaks, hooves or butts in this meat pile." Bridgette threw up. "You'll have to shovel fast, or risk getting stuck with an incomplete sausage, which will be a lot harder to ride down the mountain. Of course, if you have a shiny new electric meat grinder, just plug it into our portable generator and voila, sausage stuffed in seconds." Alejandro, Noah and Sierra glared at Tyler.

"Is this gonna be a reward challenge?", Lindsay asked. Owen patted his stomach. "I hope the winners get to eat the sausages", Owen said. Chris nodded. "There will be prizes for those who make it down the hill alive. And, there will be punishment for one sorry loser on the last place team." Chris turned to Chef, who held up a small outfit. "Behold, der penalty hosen!" Chef blew a whistle. "Okay, challenge starts now!" Team Victory ran up to their pile and grinder. Bridgette looked at the materials and groaned. "Okay... Zeke, you shovel. Lindsay, you stuff. I'll do the grinding." Ezekiel nodded, picked up a shovel and got to work. "Just like bailing hay back home, eh!" Meanwhile, Team Amazon was arguing. "Forget it, shoveling meat into the grinder is dangerous!", Heather shouted from atop the grinder. "Heather, just take one for the team!", Courtney said. Heather scowled and started shoveling. "The things I do for you people..." Alejandro directed his team. "Tyler, we need your strength on the grinder! Owen, stuff that casing like your life depends on it! Sierra, Noah, let's start shoveling!"

Heather packed some meat into the grinder and pushed it down with the shovel. It started coming out the other end, into the casing, and she covered her mouth. "Um, less yacking, more packing!", Courtney told her. "Well at least I'm doing something!", Heather shouted. She pointed at Izzy, who was making a snow angel. Nearby, Sierra was making a meat sculpture. A while later, the sculpture slid down the hill. Sierra gasped and ran after it. "Meat Cody, no!" Alejandro facepalmed. "Well, there goes half our sausage." He turned to Owen and gasped. "Owen, what are you doing with the other half!" Owen had replaced the sausage casing and was eating the ground meat. "Ugh, so spicy..." He belched. "Dude, that was raw meat. Not good", Chris told him. Alejandro glared at Owen. "I have an idea... we can ride Owen down the mountain!" "No way, that's cheating, forget it!", Courtney shouted. Chris shook his head. "Owen is stuffed with meat. I say he's fit for sausage duty."

The teams lined up their sausages at the edge of a cliff and raced down the mountain. On their way down, they ran into a mountain goat. It snarled at the teams and jumped at them. It hit Heather, who screamed. "Get this thing off me!" Izzy pulled it off Heather and began petting it. "Aww, he's so cute!" It bit her head, and she screamed. "Okay, less cute! That hurts!" Courtney pulled the goat away and threw it. It hit a tree, and the Amazons kept riding down the mountain. When they reached the finish line, the other teams were already there. They walked to a large stage where they were standing, and looked up at Chris onstage.

"Congrats on arriving first, Team Chris is Reeeeeeeally Hot", Chris said. "Way to improvise, using Owen as a ride. Now, on to part zwei of today's challenge. Competitors must learn and perform a traditional German dance on this very platform. The dance mats are rigged a hilarious and painful jolt every time you miss a step, or I need a laugh. Last team standing wins. "Where's the reward you mentioned?", Bridgette asked. "Patience. First up, Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot. First to arrive, first to get the reward." Chef threw some helmets to them. "Ugh, these way a ton!", Noah whined. "Yes, they do. Team Victory?" Chef threw some fuzzy hats to them, and Lindsay smiled. "Ooh, these are all the rage in Paris!" "And, in last place, Team Amazon." Chef threw some small hats to them. "These aren't gonna suck our brains out, are they?", Izzy asked. "Now, since Team Elusive Victory is down by two, let's even it out. Amazons, and Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot, pick two people to sit out." Courtney and Gwen sat out for the Amazons, while Sierra and Tyler sat out for Team Chris. "And Team Victory, you only pick one to sit out." "Ooh, me, pick me!", Lindsay said. Chris turned to Team Amazon. "Now, one of you guys has to wear der penalty hosen!" Izzy and Heather turned to Cody, who backed away. Chef threw the hosen to him, and he groaned.

The competitors got onstage, with Cody coming up last. Noah turned to him and laughed. "How are the hosen treating ya?", he asked. Cody groaned and tried to pull the shorts down. "It feels like someone gave my wedgie a wedgie!" Chef walked up to the stage and blew a horn. "That's German for shut up! Follow my lead and nobody gets hurt... yet." Chef started dancing. "Right knee up, left arm swings. Stomp, hop, slap your thighs. Kick your butt, jump and clap."

_Confession Cam: Sierra_

"_My grandparents are German. Schnitzel! It's too bad the others didn't pick me to dance, I could do really well in this challenge. Still... the few by the stage is quite nice." _

Sierra walked up to the edge of the stage near Cody and giggled. "I see London, I see France, I see the bottom of Cody's underpants!" Lindsay walked up to her, glaring. "Hey, the only girl who should see that is Cody's girlfriend, and Cody's girlfriend is me! Back off!" Sierra rolled her eyes and walked away. Lindsay kept glaring and yelling at her. "Yeah, that's right! Keep moving, sister!" Cody smiled. "Thanks, Lindsay..."

The contestants started dancing to get some practice. Alejandro turned toward Bridgette and winked at her. She blushed, turned away and kept dancing. Heather turned toward her and glared. "Is he making moves on you again?", she asked. Bridgette blushed more and nodded. Heather growled and glared at Alejandro. Meanwhile, Owen was already slowing down. "I don't feel so h-hot..." Chris smiled. "Perfect time to test the shockers out!" He pulled out a remote, hit a button, and Owen was zapped by the dance pad. He burped, and smiled. "Mmm, smells like cooked sausage! Cool!" Then, Chris pressed a second button zapped everyone at once. "It's challenge time!", he said. "Last person standing on their platform wins the challenge for their team. This is gonna be fun!" He pressed a third button and the platforms rose about ten feet into the air.

The contestants kept dancing as much as they could, and started slapping each other at the same time. Noah and Izzy were having a slap fight, but Izzy kept screwing up the dance and getting shocked. She groaned, though not entirely in pain. "Ohhh, that's the stuff..." Noah slapped her again. She scowled at him, then jumped and kicked him off the platform. Meanwhile, Zeke was screwing up the dance, but wasn't enjoying it like Izzy was. He missed a step, got shocked, then hopped off the platform by accident. He landed in the snow offstage. "Why couldn't this have been square dancing, eh!"

Heather and Alejandro were dancing on adjacent platforms. Heather kept kicking and slapping him. "You're gonna pay for what you did to Bridgette, you jerk!" Alejandro smirked. "Oh, do I detect some jealousy?" Heather screamed and slapped Al's face. He glared at her. "You know, I don't like having to hurt a lady, but-" Heather kicked him between the legs. She tackled him and they fell off their platforms. Then, Heather started wrestling him on the ground, screaming her head off. "YOU'RE GONNA DIE, YOU SON OF A-" "Heather, stop!", Bridgette yelled. Heather stopped and looked up at her. Bridgette sighed. "I know you're angry, but violence isn't the answer! Okay?" Heather glared at her. "Fine. Have it your way." She got up and ran away as Bridgette and Alejandro watched.

Cody turned toward Bridgette, frowning. "You alright?", he asked. Bridgette nodded. "Yeah, sort of..." Cody smiled. "Well, okay... hope this all blows o- whoa!" Cody tripped and fell off the platform. Chris looked at the remaining dancers and laughed. "Man, this is awesome! One contestant from each team remains, let's see who wins this!"

Chris gave the dancers a short break and rearranged the platforms so that the dancers were in a triangle. "Okay, resume dancing!", he said. They did so, while kicking and slapping at each other. Bridgette kicked Owen, and he tried to slap her, but missed. Then, he missed a step, got shocked and flailed his arms. One of them hit Bridgette, and she fell to the stage. Izzy kicked Owen, and he groaned. Then he missed a step again and got shocked. He threw up, and a sausage fell into his hands. Izzy looked at it in disgust. "Ewwwwwww!" Owen smirked and threw it at her. She stepped backward, threw it, and fell off the platform.

Chris hit a button and lowered the platforms. "With the most disgusting victory I've ever seen, Owen wins!" Team Chris cheered, except for Owen, who passed out. "Team Chris, fresh backed strudel awaits you in first class, and as long as Owen stays unconscious, you all actually get some! Team Amazon, you guys are in not winner, not total loser purgatory for coming in second. Team Opposite of Victory, you're voting someone out."

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_Darn it... why couldn't Team Chris have lost? Why didn't Bridgette try harder to win! I want that heart breaking, girlfriend stealing Casanova wannabe out of here! And at this rate, Bridgette's gonna be gone first!" _

The teams went back to the jet and Team Victory went to the elimination room where Chris was waiting. "I have two barf bags filled with the finest peanuts never allowed to be handed out on commercial planes due to allergy induced lawsuits. You've made your votes, so let's see who gets them! Bridgette!" Bridgette gasped. "You may or may not get one after I give the first bag to Lindsay." Chris threw a bag to Lindsay, who cheered. "Bridgette. The longer you stay here, the angrier Heather gets. Ezekiel. The longer you stay here, the angrier your host gets. Let's see... the lucky little nuisance who gets to stay is... Bridgette." Ezekiel looked confused. "Wait, really? Bridgette's the one who lost the challenge, and Lindsay didn't even try! Why am I going home, eh?" Chris shrugged. "Guess I'm not the only one who doesn't like you. See you later, Zeke!" Chris gave Ezekiel a parachute and shoved him out the plane. "I'm not done here, eh! You hear me! I'm not done!" Ezekiel jumped out of the plane and fell a bit, but as he opened his parachute, the wind blew him toward the back of the jet. The parachute got caught on a wing and he grabbed onto it. He grinned and tightened his grip.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Team Amazon in the Amazon

Team Chris was relaxing in first class on their way to the next challenge. Owen was taking a nap, when suddenly he had a nightmare. He flipped out and flailed his arms, hitting Alejandro and knocking him over. Owen screamed and woke up. "Whoa, what a terrible dream!" He looked down and saw Alejandro on the floor, rubbing his blackened eye. "Al, what happened?" "Nothing a little ice and revenge won't fix", he replied. Owen smiled. "Cool. Wait, did you say revenge?" "Of course not. Off topic, do you have any serious allergies?"

_Confession Cam: Owen_

"_Sometimes I get the feeling that Al might slightly not totally like me. Punching him in the face probably didn't help. Unless he likes that kind of thing. Fingers crossed!"_

Chef came to first class and gave Alejandro an eye patch. Alejandro smiled at Sierra. "How do I look?", he asked. She shrugged. "Kinda like a pirate. Personally I prefer ninjas..." Alejandro sighed. Owen walked up to Al and put a hand on his shoulder. "Guys, let's be a team! A team that accepts each other and gets along regardless of any accidents they might have had! Yeah!" Owen cheered and knocked Alejandro over again.

Meanwhile, the other teams were talking in the economy class. "You know what's funny?", Lindsay asked. "You guys are Team Amazon, but we're the all girl team!" Heather rolled her eyes. "Yeah, hilarious." Bridgette frowned. "Heather, can you lighten up?" "Not really. I have a million dollars to win, and I need to keep an eye on you and Alejandro." Bridgette blushed. "You're still mad about that?" Heather glared at her, and Bridgette turned away. Chris turned on the intercom. "Brace for landing! We've arrived at our next destination: the Amazon!", he announced. "But, the runway's a liiiiittle short." The teams buckled up. "Team Amazon in the Amazon? That's gotta be a lucky sign", Gwen said. Courtney glared at her. "Don't jinx us, please." Gwen just rolled her eyes.

The plane landed, roughly, and crashed into a tree. Everyone got out and walked to Chris. "Welcome to Peru, birth place of the mighty Amazon river. This challenge is called the Am-AAAGH!-zon race. Teams must hike along an ancient Inca trail through the Peruvian jungle, all the way to Machu Picchu. Hidden somewhere among the ruins of the city, a golden treasure awaits discovery. Find the treasure to win first class passage to our next destination. Last team to arrive at Machu Picchu will have to send someone out the elimination door. And be warned, the jungle contains many vicious insects." Cody raised his hand. "Yes, Cody, the legal department made me well aware of your allergies and insisted we supply an Epi pen. One of your teammates should hang onto this. Who's it gonna be?" Cody turned to Gwen. "I'll take it", she said. Sierra screamed and ran up to Gwen, grabbing her by her shoulders. "You'd better make sure you keep Cody safe, okay? His allergies are life threatening!" Lindsay walked over to Sierra and pushed her away. "Back off, Cody's MY boyfriend! Gwen, you'll take care of him for me, right?" Gwen groaned and nodded.

Chris pulled out a photo of a man wearing a mask. "Also in the jungle are the Zing Zings, a tribe of natives who have barely encountered modern man and are very protective of their territory. They look kinda like this. If you see one, do not make contact." Owen raised his hand. "How far away is Mucky Pikachu?", he asked. "Machu Picchu is a hop, skip and a jump from here... plus eighteen hours." The contestants groaned. "The jungle is too dangerous to travel at night, so teams will have to stop at dusk and camp along the trail until sunrise." "And I assume there are no tents?", Alejandro asked. "Correctamundo. Now, because the playing area is so vast and dangerous, each team will have a walkie-talkie in case of emergency." Chris pulled out a box of the devices and tossed one to each team. "I wish you all good luck, or at the very least, a lack of death."

The teams started walking and came to a crossroad. Lindsay looked at the two paths and scratched her head. "Eenie meanie minie... left?" Bridgette shrugged, and the girls took the left path. Tyler watched them walk away, then turned to his team. "Left, right? Definitely left." He ran down the path and Team Chris followed. Last up was Team Amazon. "Maybe we should go right", Gwen said. Courtney shook her head. "I don't think so. Even if left is the wrong way, there's safety in numbers. We should stick with the group." Izzy put a hand on Courtney's shoulder. "Oh, stop with the CIT training stuff. Let's take the road less traveled! Follow me, everybody!" Izzy ran down the right path and the rest of her team did the same.

Team Victory found Chris waiting at the top of a wooden platform in the forest, near the river. He waved at them. "Welcome, tiny Victory! I'd say Team, but you're more of a duo. But hey, first is first. So, you get to cross this water hazard using the T bar. Everyone else will have to take the line hand over hand. The girls cheered, then grabbed onto the T bar and slid down the line.

On the other path, Team Amazon was walking along and swatting mosquitoes. "Hey Gwen? You know how to use an Epi Pen, right?", Cody asked. "Not a clue, she said." Izzy smiled. "Oh, I know! You just shove the needle into the poor sucker's butt!" Gwen covered her mouth, pulled the pen out of her pocket and gave it to Cody. "Good luck with that..." Then, a giant mosquito flew down and tried to carry Cody away. Izzy roared, picked up a stick and threw it at the mosquito. The bug was impaled and fell to the ground. Izzy laughed. "Haha, this is even better than that trip to Australia!"

Later, Team Chris got to Chris on his platform by the line. "Where's the hanging on thingy part?", Tyler asked. "Hanging on thingy?" "You know, the riding stick! Grabby whatchamacallit... Zipper buckle handle!" "Getting colder..." "Alejandro stepped forward. "We need no T bar! We are Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot!" He pulled off his belt, put it over the line and used it to slide across. Owen cheered. "Great idea, Al!" He grabbed onto the line and slid down, but got rope burn and screamed in agony. Then, he weighed the line down too far and fell into the river. He came back out with fish biting him all over. Chris smirked. "Oh yeah, there may or may not be piranhas in this water", he said. Owen crawled across the line to the other side of the river. Then, Sierra used her belt to cross the river, Noah used a book, and Tyler used his pants. The pants caught on fire and Tyler fell in the water. He swam to shore, screaming while the piranhas bit him.

A while later, Team Amazon heard some rustling in the bushes near the path. They crept toward the sound and saw a pair of Zing Zings sitting by a fire. Izzy gasped. "Oh my gosh, natives!" Cody shushed her. "Izzy, be quiet, we can't make contact!" While he was talking, the Zing Zings walked up behind Cody and the others, pointing some spears at them. The teens turned, saw this and gasped. "Well well, lucky us", Heather said to Gwen. Gwen pulled out the walkie-talkie. "Chris? We need help. Chris? Chris!" She checked the device and went wide-eyed. "No batteries." The Zing Zings herded Team Amazon to a tree and tied them up, then went back to their fire. "The batteries in my flashlight should fit into the walkie-talkie, but I can't reach my back right pocket", Cody said. "Gwen, you got us into this mess. You try getting us out", Heather told her. Gwen nodded. She reached into Cody's pocket and pulled out some items. "Killer Casanova kissing mints? Hair gel? Saw body spray? X-ray glasses?" "What color are Cody's undies?", Heather asked. "Um, Gwen-" Gwen put the glasses on, looked at Cody, and screamed. She threw the glasses away. "I thought it'd be better to not wear any, in case I needed the Epi pen", Cody said.

_Confession Cam: Gwen_

"_How the hell would he have known we'd be here! Why did he just assume he might need his Epi pen! What the hell, Cody!" _

Gwen groaned and put her hand back in Cody's pocket. "Okay, where's that flashlight... I think I got it!" She jabbed her hand on something. "Oww!" She pulled it out and the Epi pen was sticking out of it. "You'll be okay, I swear! It's just like a big shot of adrenaline!", Cody said. "How big?" Courtney stuck her hand in Cody's other pocket and pulled out the flashlight. She handed it to Gwen. "Get the batteries in the walkie-talkie already!"

Meanwhile, the sun was setting. Alejandro and his team arrived at a hill, and he scanned the horizon. "Well, it's almost dusk. We can make camp here." Owen crawled up behind the others, panting. "Need rest... and water... ohh, nachos would be killer right now." Noah rolled his eyes. "Sure, all we're missing is chips, beef, tomatoes, lettuce, cheese, salsa, and various other ingredients." Up ahead on the path, Team Victory ran into Chris. "Hey, Chris! Do you have food?", Bridgette asked. Chris nodded. "Lucky you, you're still in first place and you get a reward." Chris pulled out a machete, cut a nearby rope, and a crate of bananas fell from a tree. "All the bananas you can eat." Bridgette cheered and started eating.

Gwen got the flashlight batteries into the walkie-talkie and frantically started talking. "Chris Chris Chris this is Gwen! The Zingies, caught by the tree tied up, my hands in Cody's pants, this trouble is big!" Chris picked up his walkie-talkie. "Wait, what the heck?" Lindsay took the device from Chris. "Darn right this trouble is big. Gwen, keep your hands off my boyfriend!" "Come on Chris, help us!" "Gwen Epi penned herself, we need help!", Courtney said. Chris took his walkie-talkie back. "Emergencies only!", he said. Heather took her team's walkie-talkie from Gwen. "We're being held at spear point by the Zing Zings! Help us now!" "Cody, we're in first place!", Lindsay said. "Yeah, cool", Cody said. Chris pushed Lindsay away and said "Okay, Team Amazon, remain calm. I'll get help for you as soon as I can triangulate your position."

Gwen started spazzing out. "Okayidon''MGONNALOSEIT!" "You already lost it!", Heather told her. "Idon'!" The Zing Zings walked up to Gwen and growled at her. Then, they approached Heather. They mumbled something, then ran over to a bush. They muttered something else and moved the bush away, revealing a carving that looked like Heather on a nearby tree. "I think they think you're a goddess of some kind", Cody said. Heather smiled. "I think I'm starting to like this place."

Around midnight, some tiny monkeys approached Team Victory. Bridgette smiled at them. "Hey, little guys! You want some bananas?" She tossed some fruit to them and they chattered happily. Lindsay smiled. "Aww, they're so cute! This is the best challenge ever!" Meanwhile, Owen heard some rumbling in the forest. He turned to his team and asked "Is that coming from the fire?" "Fires rarely growl", Noah said. "Al built it. Maybe Spanish fires growl", Owen said. The rumbling got closer and the others woke up. "What is that?", Alejandro asked. Owen threw some sticks into the fire. The increased lighting revealed some giant centipedes, which attacked them.

The Zing Zings pulled Heather out of the ropes, keeping the rest of Team Amazon tied up, and took her to a chair they had built. "Hey, let go of me! I said let go!" One of them put a crown of leaves on her head. Then, they both backed away and bowed. Gwen giggled. "Wow is this crazy or what? I mean she looks just like that carving, it can't be just me who thinks this is crazy, it's crazy crazy crazy!"

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_Even as a child, I knew that someday a large group of people would worship me. I knew." _

The next morning, Team Victory ate a few bananas and started walking. "Onward, to more victory!", Bridgette said. Meanwhile, Team Chris awoke as well. Alejandro got a stick and turned to his teammates. "Daybreak, let's get moving! No time for head counts! Let's get to Machu Pichu and find that treasure!"

Team Victory arrived at Machu Picchu first. Chris walked up to them, yawning and smiling. "Morning, girls! Somehow, you're still in first place! Find the treasure before anyone else, and you'll leave Peru in first class." "Yes, yes, yes! Let's go, Bridgette!", Lindsay said. Bridgette cheered. "Yeah! Let's make sure the person going home isn't on our team!" A short while later, Team Chris arrived. Chris stopped them at some stairs. "Uh-uh, you can't start searching until your whole team is here!" "You never said that! You're making up the rules as we go!", Alejandro said. "And this surprises you because...?" Alejandro sighed. "Fine. Allow me to search for Owen."

Meanwhile, Gwen was sleeping and snoring while the rest of her tied up teammates were wide awake. "When the epinephrine wears off, it knocks you out good", Cody said. Izzy groaned. "Her snoring is driving me crazy!" "I think you mean crazier", Courtney said. "Heather, make them untie us!" Heather shook her head. "What if I ask and it makes them angry? Angry enough to sacrifice one of you? You don't want that!" "She's got a point", Cody said.

Alejandro found Owen tied up in a tree. He pulled him down and tore some caterpillar string off him. "Owen, what happened?", he asked. "What do you mean, what happened? You watched the caterpillars drag me away!" "I don't know what you're talking about. "The others were asleep, but you, you had your eye open! I saw you!" "Obviously you're wrong. The others went ahead without you. I refused to move on without you." "Whether that's true or not, you STILL let the caterpillars take me." Alejandro groaned. "Just come on, okay? We have a challenge to win." Owen sighed. "Fine..." They ran back to Machu Picchu where the others were waiting. Owen fell down, but Alejandro kept standing. "Okay, let's find that treasure!", he said. He and the rest of Team Chris ran off to do so. Then, Lindsay and Bridgette ran up to Chris. "I found it!", Lindsay shouted. "Wow, good timing! Victory for Team Victory!" Team Victory cheered, and Chris checked his watch. "Okay, let's get out of here and tell Team Amazon they lost."

A while later, Team Amazon heard some rustling in the forest. Chef walked up to the tree that everyone but Heather was tied to. Izzy gasped. "Hey, Chef!" One of the Zing Zings ran up to him, pointing his spear. "No, guys, it's okay!", Heather said. "Chef, if you wanna get on their good side, you should bow before me. I'm a bit of a goddess to the Zing Zings." "Those aren't Zing Zings! They look like local Peruvian teenagers!", he said. "Then what's with the outfits and the spears?" One of them went up to Heather, took his mask off and showed her a piece of paper. "You're actors in this year's Shakespeare in the Jungle production of Macbeth? We were held captive by bit actors!" "Guess you aren't a goddess after all", Courtney said. "And you lost the challenge. Y'all gotta vote someone off", Chef told them. "Oww! I just got bit by a red ant!", Cody yelled. Izzy smiled. "Ooh, let me try to suck the poison out!" Izzy started sucking Cody's bitten thumb. "If only we had someone we can blame for all this... morning, Gwen!", Heather said. Gwen yawned and got up. "Did we win?", she asked. Her teammates glared at her.

Everyone went to the plane, and Team Victory went to first class. The girls sat down on a couch and looked out the window. Lindsay turned to Bridgette and asked "Do you think we can bring Cody and Heather to join us?" Bridgette sighed. "As long as they don't get eliminated..."

Team Amazon was waiting for Chris in the elimination room. Alejandro walked in and came over to Heather. "Oh, look. It's pirate Pablo", she said. "Ah, Heather, cheer up! Your departure will make the game a whole lot easier for me!", he said. Heather glared at him. "I am NOT leaving tonight, and YOU are not gonna win. You're going down, you girlfriend kissing jerk." Alejandro smirked. "We'll see about that." Chris came in, pushing a cart with a TV on it. "Alright, Amazons! Ready to find out who you chose to eliminate? Let's look at the footage, just for fun." He hit a button on the TV and a video from the confession cam started.

_Confession Cam: Gwen_

"_I vote for Heather. And Chris, there's ten dollars in it if you 'forget' to give her a parachute._

_Confession Cam: Courtney_

"_See you later, Gwen! Hope you don't take the wrong path on your way home!"_

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_I vote Gwen."_

_Confession Cam: Izzy_

"_I dunno who to vote for... Gwen got us lost, but it was so fun! So, uh, I vote for... Heather."_

_Confession Cam: Cody_

"_I hate to say it, but I vote for Gwen. Mostly because of the Epi pen mishap and my getting a bug bite, but also because of the x ray glasses. Very embarrassing..."_

Chris smiled and turned the TV off. "There. All done." Gwen sighed. "Well... I guess I deserve this. Let's get it over with", she said. "Yeah, this would be a good time to watch someone fall out of the plane... you know, if this were actually an elimination round! But it's not!" Chris pulled out a party favor horn and blew it. "Surprise!" Gwen and Heather cheered. Cody and Courtney gasped.

_Confession Cam: Gwen_

"_Wow. Maybe this really WAS lucky for me. I'm still here! This could still be my season!"_

Bridgette and Lindsay walked into the elimination room. Bridgette walked up to Chris. "Is it over? Who got kicked off?", she asked. Chris shook his head. "No one did. It was a fake out!" Lindsay applauded. "Yay!" "Yep. I just showed everyone who got the votes to stir up drama." Bridgette turned to Heather and Cody. "Glad you're still here, guys. Let's go to first class." Heather and Cody followed the girls there. Cody and Lindsay sat down on a couch and made out, while Bridgette and Heather talked. "I'm glad you're still here, Heather", Bridgette said. Heather smiled. "So am I. And I'm glad you aren't gone yet. Let's take down Alejandro together, okay?" Bridgette smiled. "Deal. No guy is gonna come between us, no matter how hot." Heather sighed. "You still think he's hot?" "Well, he is. But you are too." Heather blushed, and Bridgette leaned in and kissed her. "Come on, you guys lost and STILL haven't had an elimination. Cheer up." Heather nodded. "Oh, fine." The girls hugged and looked out the window on their way to the next challenge.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Pairs in Paris

The next morning, Team Victory, Heather and Cody were having breakfast in first class. While the others were eating, Lindsay got a pedicure. "Wow... I'm so relaxed, I think even my brain is asleep!", she said. She picked up a cup of coffee and spilled it on her shirt. "Yep, totally asleep!" Cody ran over with a napkin. "Here, let me take care of that for you..." he started blotting at the spilled coffee, right by her cleavage. Lindsay giggled. "You're too sweet, Cody." Cody grinned and blushed. "Anything for you, baby."

Meanwhile, the other teams were stuck in the economy class. Courtney turned to Gwen and said "Alright, we need to start preparing for the next challenge. Can you go get Cody and Heather?" Gwen nodded. "Thanks. Also, have you seen Izzy?" "I saw her go to the cockpit, to talk with Chef", Alejandro said. The other contestants gasped. Suddenly, an alarm went off and the plane started shaking like crazy. Everyone fell out of their seats. "What's happening!" "We're goin' down!", Tyler screamed. Owen started screaming as well. "I'm too pretty to die!"

The plane continued spinning and shaking around. Alejandro strapped himself in and smirked at Team Amazon. "Having some trouble controlling your team?", he asked. Courtney glared at him. "You'd have trouble with Izzy too. Don't think I'm responsible for her." "No, of course I don't! You're far too organized and talented to have caused a disaster like this." Courtney raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really?" Alejandro smiled. "Yes, Courtney. You're the most talented girl on your team." "Oh... w-well, thank you..."

_Confession Cam: Courtney_

"_Alejandro is so sweet... I wonder why. Why does he praise everyone, even people on other teams? I mean, it's nice to have someone appreciate how great I am, but it's just odd." _

Up in the cockpit, Izzy turned the intercom on. "Ahem! This is your captain speaking! If you look out your window, you'll get to see what happens when a plane does a somersault!" "Gimme that!", Chef shouted. "Um, y'all might wanna hang onto something heavy!" Team Chris grabbed onto Owen and everyone else strapped in. The plane flew by the Eiffel tower and did a somersault through a river, stopping and landing safely by a museum. Izzy's seat shot out of the cockpit. She landed in the river, cheering and giggling.

The contestants got out of the plane and met Chris by the museum. He sighed and pulled out a cue card. "I didn't get a chance to prep my introduction, what with the unexpected water landing and all... I'm just gonna give the highlights. France, city of love, art gallery, filler, lots of art work, priceless PRICELESS artwork..." "Yay, Paris! There's only one guy I wanna share this with... Where's my Cody?", Lindsay asked. Cody walked up to her, smiling. "Oh, there you are!" Lindsay picked him up and hugged him. "Us being in Paris means only one thing..." "I know. I love-" "Shopping! I can pick out new clothes for you!" Lindsay squealed, and Chris pinched her mouth shut. "There's no time for shopping! The first challenge is about to start! Everyone, inside the loave!" "I believe you mean Louvre", Courtney said. "Whatever, go already!"

Everyone followed Chris inside, and walked until the found Chef and a large wooden crate. "Challenge time, kids!", Chris announced. "Each team gets their very own famous sculpture. Team Victory, yours is the Thinker." He handed them a photo of it. "Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot, you guys get the Venus de Milo." He handed them a photo as well, then handed another photo to Team Amazon. "Amazons, you ladies get the Statue of David. Here's how it works. It's up to you guys to find your statue hidden somewhere in the Louvre." "Well that shouldn't be too hard, the statues are big. Plus, I'm amazing at reading brochure maps", Courtney said. "About that... Chef has broken the statues into pieces and hidden them. First team to find their pieces, race to the pyramid court and assemble them wins." Alejandro raised an eyebrow. "But the Thinker isn't located in the Louvre, and the Statue of David isn't even in France!" "Well, we're not using the actual statues. Those are priceless. Chef made some fake ones. Right?" Chef frowned, went wide-eyed and sprinted away.

Chris pulled out a remote control and grinned. "I almost forgot the twist twist. Here's your motivation." He hit a button on the remote, and the crate opened. Out of the crate came a Sasquatchanakwa, a bear with a chainsaw and a very angry seal. "I'd start running." The teams did so, and also started screaming while being chased by one of the animals. Team Chris was being chased by the Sasquatchanakwa. "I don't wanna be yeti food!", Owen said. Noah smiled. "I got your ginormous back, big boy! Watch this, it totally works on my dog!" He turned around and pulled a ball out of his pocket. "Who wants the ball? Who wants it? You want it, don't you? Go get it!" He pretended to throw it, and the beast ran away. Alejandro smiled. "Well played, Noah. Now, onwards!"

Meanwhile, Team Amazon had already found the first piece of their statue. "Come on, guys! There's no way we can let the others beat us to the pyramid court! We have to find the rest of these things fast!", Heather told her team. Cody turned around and saw the bear walking towards him. "Yeah, let's hurry!" They started running. After a while, they found a few more pieces. Heather smiled. "Good. Hey Izzy, can you carry- Izzy, what are you doing?" Izzy had shoved her head threw a picture and was wearing it like a necklace. "Izzy, we have a challenge to win!" Izzy stuck her tongue out at Heather, who glared at her. "Listen, missy, you can have your fun after we win. Now come on!"

In another hallway, Team Victory had found several pieces of their statue. "You don't think that seal is gonna kill us, do you?", Lindsay asked. Bridgette shook her head. "No way. DJ's the one who ran it over, and I wasn't even there when it happened. We'll be fine." "Good, because I have some shopping to do when this is over!" They kept walking and passed by an Egypt exhibit. "Think we should check in there?", Bridgette asked. Lindsay shrugged. "Nah."

Team Chris found a few more statue pieces, and took a short break. Alejandro turned to his teammates, smiling. "You've all been brave and courageous, but we need to pick up the pace! Break time's over!" They ran to the end of the hallway and found the head of a statue behind some laser beams. "Oh, great. How are we gonna get our last piece without setting off an alarm?", Alejandro asked. Tyler smirked. "Guess who was captain of his gymnastics team at kinder-gym?", Tyler asked. "It's Tyler time!" He ran toward the lasers, but crashed into a wall. Alejandro facepalmed. "Noah, you'll have to move through the lasers. Owen's girth, Sierra's height and my muscled chest will not fit." The team heard some growling, and Noah sighed. "Fine, let's just get this done. I don't think my ball trick will stop the yeti a second time. Okay, I just move and- OWW!" Noah touched one of the lasers by accident and got zapped. "You can do it, Noah!" Noah sighed and worked his way through the lasers. He picked up the statue head, and the lasers turned off. Owen cheered. "Way to go, dude!"

The other teams gathered the rest of their statue pieces and ran outside to the pyramid. "Okay, put the pieces here!", Alejandro told his team. "Let's move it, Amazons! The other teams won't know what hit them!", Heather said. They put their statue pieces down in the same place. Sierra glared at the Amazons. "Hey, you got some of your David in our Venus!" "Well this is awkward", Cody said. Meanwhile, Bridgette and Lindsay got outside as well. "Okay, Lindsay, let's get to work", Bridgette said.

Team Chris got to work, slowly, with Tyler giving directions. "Put the middle piece under the wide part! Then, rotate the thingy straightwise! No, no, under over!" "Some of those aren't even words!", Noah told him. Meanwhile, Owen wandered back into a museum. He spotted a painting of some cheese and approached it. "Mmm, looks yummy!" He tore some of the canvas off and shoved it in his mouth. "Mmm, acrylic!"

Back outside, Team Amazon finished building their statue... sort of. Courtney looked at the photo from earlier, then at the statue. "I don't think this is right... is that a LEG attached to its shoulder?" Nearby, Noah was assembling his team's statue. He put an arm into place and stepped back to admire his work. "Perfect." Alejandro tapped him on the shoulder. "Um, Noah? You should look at the photo. You have a few too many limbs."

Bridgette and Lindsay kept working steadily. "Bridgette, we're totally going to win!", Lindsay said. Bridgette nodded. "Yep. All we need to do now is put the head in place." Bridgette picked the head up from the ground, walked over to the statue, and tripped. "Oh, crap!" The statue head went flying. Lindsay screamed, ran for the head and held her arms out. She caught the head and sighed. "Oh my gosh, that was a close one." She put the head on the statue. Chris walked up to them and said "And Team Victory wins again! Coming in a close second is Team Amazon, and this week's losers are Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot. Sorry guys." Alejandro scowled, and Owen came back from the museum. "Hey guys, how's the statue coming?", he asked. Alejandro glared at him.

_Confession Cam: Alejandro_

"_I'm not sure who to vote off first: Owen for being annoying and suspicious of me, Tyler for giving poor directions and stinking in athletic challenges, or Sierra for bothering Chris and possibly making him hate us. This is gonna be tough."_

Chris brought everyone back to the plane, and Team Chris to the elimination room. He stood in front of them with a tray full of barf bags. "Well, guys, this is your first elimination. I'll make it simple for ya. Just go to the confession cam and stamp the passport of the person you want to vote off, then come back here. Everyone who's safe gets a barf bag full of peanuts. The person who isn't safe gets a parachute and a one way trip out the door."

_Confession Cam: Owen_

"_Let's see you let caterpillars drag me away from back home, Al! ...I wonder if he can really do that."_

_Confession Cam: Sierra_

"_Once you're gone, I can talk to Chris all I want. Adios, amigo!" _

_Confession Cam: Noah_

"_I never really trusted this guy. So long, Alejandro." _

Once the votes had been cast, Chris cleared his throat and turned to Team Chris. "Alright. Barf bags go to Tyler, Noah, and Sierra. And the final barf bag goes to... Owen." Alejandro went wide-eyed. "Excuse me? I think you misspoke, Chris." Chris smirked at him. "Nope. Sorry, dude, but it's time for you to go." "What! But I'm the leader! How could you all vote me off!" Owen ate some peanuts and talked between bites. "Mm, sorry Al, but you can only blame yourself." Chris threw a parachute to Alejandro and opened the door. Alejandro scowled and walked away. "Fine. I wish you all the best of luck. Goodbye, everyone." He jumped out the door, and the rest of Team Chris went to the economy class.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: It's Not New Anymore

Team Amazon and Team Chris were hanging out in the economy class on their way to the next challenge. Heather was relaxing, smiling and looking out the window. "I have a feeling this is gonna be a good day", she said. Gwen raised an eyebrow. "Why, because Alejandro is gone?" "Yep. Everything is gonna be better without him bugging Bridgette." "Hey guys, can you stop chatting and gimme a boost?", Izzy asked them. Heather nodded and helped Izzy climb up to the luggage rack. "You gonna go look for stowaways again?", Heather asked her. Izzy nodded. "Of course! I think someone snuck on the plane during the last challenge. I bet it's an escaped prisoner, trying to cross the border!" Heather giggled. "Okay then. Good luck with that."

After a few minutes, Izzy came back. She crawled out of the luggage rack and fell to the floor. "Find any stowaways?", Heather asked. Izzy got up and shook her head. "No, but I found a tooth brush!" Sierra gasped and ran over to her. "Oh my gosh, I've been looking for this!" Cody groaned. "Way to go, Izzy, I was trying to hide it from her!" Sierra started brushing her teeth. The others watched, disgusted.

Meanwhile, up in first class, Team Victory was hanging out. "It's so cool that we won again!", Lindsay said. Bridgette nodded in agreement. "Yep. Team Victory is finally on a winning streak." "I thought we were on a plane." "We are." Lindsay looked confused. "How does that work?" "The winning streak is a metaphor." "Ohhhh!"

_Confession Cam: Bridgette_

"_After losing so early in season one, and working with Heather the whole time last season, it's really weird to be the leader on my team. I don't know how much longer I can handle this..."_

A few minutes later, the plane started its descent, bouncing up and down, with land nowhere in sight. "Why are we landing in the middle of the ocean?", Sierra asked her team. "Oh, no we're not. Oh wait, yes we are. Oh wait, no we're not..." Courtney got up and walked wobbily to the cockpit. "FYI, I get motion sickness on theme park rides, so if you don't want me barfing, BREAK!" Chris and Chef just laughed at her. They landed the plane, and Chris turned on the intercom. "Attention all Total Drama passengers. In accordance with emergency landing procedures, you will now be shown to the nearest exit." Chef herded everyone to the elimination room and shoved them out the door.

The teens landed in the ocean. After a minute, Chris approached them in a fishing boat. "Hey there, ya goin' to yangee shores! Ever been to sea?", he asked. "What the who now?", Cody asked. Sierra gasped. "It must be Newfoundland! Chris is originally from Blow Me Down Highlands", she said. Chris smiled. "Aye! It's a blarney homecomin' for buddy McLean! Canada's beautiful east coast!" "Birthplace of Canada's beautifullest host." "Aww, thanks! It's just a hop an' a skip thataway!" Chris pointed into the the distance, then dropped his accent. "First part of the challenge, swim over to your team's boat and start paddling. To keep this interesting, Victory, since you're a team of two, your boat has been set up with an outboard motor." Lindsay and Bridgette cheered.

Courtney swam over to her teammates. "Listen up, Amazons! If we swim in a V formation, like geese, we'll be faster!", she said. Heather nodded. "Fine. Any objections?" Gwen raised an eyebrow. "Courtney is bossing us around and you don't have one?" "I have an objection to losing. Let's go, people! Maybe we can keep up with Team Victory!"

_Confession Cam: Gwen_

"_You know, Heather shouldn't let her relationship with Bridgette affect her game. Having a relationship with Duncan really screwed things up for me last season... Trent! I meant Trent! Just a... slip of the tongue! Heh..."_

"_I want that tape back! Gimme the tape! How do you open this thing!"_

"I'll take the point!", Courtney said. Heather grabbed Courtney by the wrist. "Okay, let's not get too crazy here. I'VE got point." Courtney turned and glared at her teammate. "Look, I'm a very experienced swimmer. I was a synchro captain! I was a CIT!" "More lik C-" "Guys, let's get going!", Gwen said. Team Amazon, and the other teams, swam to their boats. Bridgette spotted something in the distance and swam over. When she got to it, she gasped. "Oh my gosh, a killer whale! Lindsay, get over here!" Lindsay swam over. "Climb on!", Bridgette told her. The girls did so, and Bridgette patted the whale's head. It swam over to the boats, and the girls jumped off. The killer whale kept swimming. "Thanks for the ride, dude!", Bridgette shouted.

The other teams got to the boats as well, and Chris drove his boat over to them. "Ahoy, contestants! Ready to row row row your boats? The first two teams to get to shore will take part in the final challenge. Oh, and if you land some seafood along the way, you'll get a special reward. On your mark, get set, go!" Chris blew a horn on his boat and the other teams started rowing, except Team Victory. They just turned on their motor. "Alright guys, I'm a very experienced rower, a three time cockswain, and a CIT. Follow my lead!", Courtney told her team. Meanwhile, with Tyler and Owen rowing, Team Chris was in the lead. "See you on land!", Noah told them. Courtney growled and started rowing. "Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Up two and two! Faster!", she shouted.

After a while, Team Chris fished up a lobster. Owen took it and looked at it. "Mmm, anyone have some butter?", he asked. Noah took the lobster away. "Dude, you can't eat it. At least not yet." Owen sighed, turned away and threw the fishing net back in the water. Meanwhile, Courtney saw something in the distance. "Guys, look! Up on that rock! Could it be..?" Gwen looked at the rock and gasped. "Duncan!" "Full speed that way!" The Amazons went off course, toward the rock.

Team Chris and Team Victory raced around rocks and icebergs, and finally reached the shore. Chris flew onto the beach with a jet pack and shouted "Congrats, you guys move on to the next challenge! Team Amazon, on the other hand, seems to be missing." Bridgette looked out at the ocean. "Where the heck are they?", she asked.

Team Amazon reached the rock they had gone after. Courtney jumped off the boat and started climbing it. "Duncan? Is that you?", she asked a figure atop the rock. "If it's you and you've been stranded out here, I've got good news! You can come with us if you promise to join my team!" Gwen climbed up after her. "Get down here, you jerk!", she yelled. The two girls kept climbing. When they reached the top, the both frowned because all they saw was a jagged rock formation. "What! I swear it was him!" Courtney facepalmed. The girls climbed back down, sadly. When they arrived, Heather smirked at them. "So, where's Duncan?", she asked. "We thought we saw him", Gwen said. "It was just a bunch of dumb rocks", Courtney added. Heather smiled. "Great! Now I know who to vote off next."

Back at the beach, Chris led the two teams who had arrived to a picnic table with a bucket of clams on it. "Okay, everybody, it's time for the next leg", he said. "Since Team Amazon lost, they're out. They have to clean the fish and lobsters the other teams brought in, and shuck all these giant clams... if they get here." "The team that brought seafood gets a reward, right?", Noah asked. "You do. You get to watch other people shuck clams! How's that for a reward?" Chris laughed, and Noah nodded. "Fair enough."

A few hours later, it was time for the challenge. Chris brought everyone inside and sat them down at a table. "Welcome to my traditional Newfoundland kitchen party", he said. "In this part of the competition, it's Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot versus Team Victory in a 'screeching in' relay. Screeching in is a ceremony performed by the locals to welcome newcomers. First, you have to swig a whole lot of apple cider." "Doesn't sound so bad", Owen said. "Correction: apple cider vinegar. It'll put hair on your chest." "I don't want hair there!", Lindsay whined. "Owen and Sierra must each finish a whole bottle. As soon as you do, you can tag Noah to decipher a traditional Newfoundland saying, spoken by my cousin, Jerd McLean!" On cue, a short man with red hair walked into the room. "How's it gotten there, by?", he asked. "Then, Noah will tag Tyler, who has to kiss a cod, like he means it", Chris continued. "Bridgette and Lindsay are the only people on their team. So, they both have to swig the cider, one of them must translate what Jerd says and the other has to kiss the fish. And now, let the screeching in begin!"

Chris gave the three girls and Owen their bottles of cider, and the teens started drinking. Sierra took a sip, then stopped and gasped for air. "OMG, my throat!" Bridgette started drinking, and Lindsay took a sip and groaned. "Ohh, I think there's something wrong with this cider!" Meanwhile, Owen finished his bottle. "Not bad. Not bad at all. You got anything back there in a balsamic, maybe a few chips on the side?" Chris shook his head. "Aww..." After a few more minutes, the girls all finished their bottles. Chris laughed. "Well, didn't see that coming! Both teams move on to the interpretation challenge. Ready? Take it away, Jerd!" Jerd nodded. "Ring de bell at te bump house", Jerg said... I think. Noah raised an eyebrow. "Are those even words?", he asked. Lindsay raised her hand. "Um, that bottle of cider really filled me up, can I go use the bathroom?", she asked. Jerd snapped his fingers. "Correctamundo!", Chris said. Lindsay looked confused. "Is that a yes?" "Jerd asked to use the washroom like a true maritimer. Way to go, Lindsay." "So can I use the bathroom or not?" "Yes." Lindsay smiled and ran out of the room.

"Okay, Bridgette, you can now move on to the last part of the challenge. Chef, bring in the fish!" Chef carried a dead fish into the room and dropped it on the table. "Here you go." Bridgette covered her mouth. "All you gotta do is smooch the cod and you win. And remember, Bridgette... like you mean it! Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot, you'd better get a move on. Jerd, another saying if you would, please." Jerd nodded. "The worst ting you can have in your head is an ard tooth", he said... I think." Noah looked confused. "Okay, I think he said something about Owen's butt." Jerd frowned and turned to Chris. "Kid's as smart as a bag o' rocks, bye." Chris chuckled. "Oh, I know!" "Hmmm... ard tooth, ard tooth... um... having no teeth?", Noah asked. "Correct! Tyler, time to pucker up." Chef brought in another fish and gave it to Tyler. "I don't think I can do this... it's a fish!", he said.

Meanwhile, Bridgette looked down at hers. "Okay, there are so many things wrong with this. One, I'm a vegetarian. Two, I'm dating Heather, and last time I kissed something that wasn't her, she got reeeeeally mad. Lindsay, can you do this?" She looked around and didn't see her. "Guess she's still ringing that bell", Chris said. "You're on your own here." Bridgette sighed. "Okay... here goes nothing." She picked up the fish and kissed it.

_Confession Cam: Noah_

"_No wonder my little cousins aren't allowed to watch this show." _

"Okay, that'll do it! Team Victory wins! Again!" Just then, Heather and her team ran in. "Are we too late for the challenge?", she asked. Chris smiled. "Perfect timing! You guys are today's full on, big time losers!" Heather turned to Courtney and glared at her.

_Confession Cam: Courtney _

"_Okay... I guess going after Duncan instead of focusing on the challenge was a bad idea. I thought if we had another person on our team, he could help us win. If only it'd actually BEEN a person..."_

Gwen stepped between Heather and Courtney. "It wasn't her fault, it was me", she said. "What?" "I got us lost." "I'm the one who saw the rock first!", Courtney said. Heather glared at Gwen. "Okay. If you wanna take the blame, I'll just vote YOU off!" Chris walked up to them. "Sorry to cut this fight short, but in celebration of my home and native land, this is a reward challenge only. No elimination. Team Victory gets a reward: a delicious clam and fish chowder supper!" Bridgette and Lindsay cheered. A few hours later, Chris and Jerd served the girls their chowder. Then, it was time to board the plane once again...


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Bob Gnarly

As the jumbo jet flew to its next destination, Lindsay and Bridgette were relaxing and getting facials in first class. "Is it just me, or does winning totally rock?", Lindsay asked. Bridgette nodded. "Totally. Team Victory is on a roll, and at this rate, I might make it to the finals again!" She pulled a cucumber off her eye and ate it.

Meanwhile, the other teams were stuck in economy class. The ceiling was leaking, and water droplets dripped down onto the teens. "Economy class can kiss my aching butt", Heather said. Courtney rolled her eyes. "At least we haven't had an elimination yet." "We almost did. But then Chris decided not to send the loser home, remember?" Izzy stuck her tongue out and caught some falling droplets. "Mmm, rusty!" Noah stared at Izzy and raised an eyebrow. "Why on earth are you doing that?" Izzy giggled. "We're not on earth, silly, we're in a plane!" Noah facepalmed. "Nuttier than a ten pound bag of pecans..."

Chris turned on the intercom. "Attention, passengers", he said. Then he screamed. The plane started falling rapidly. The contestants, especially Owen, joined Chris in screaming. Izzy ran to the elimination room and grabbed a parachute. Owen ran after her. "Hey, where are you going!", he asked. "This is NOT the way I wanna die!", Izzy shouted. She put the parachute and opened the door. She jumped out and opened her parachute. Owen was pulled out by an air current, and they and fell to the beach below. Izzy landed on Owen. "Perfect landing. Not even a scratch."

The plane fell on top of them. The remaining teens climbed out of it, followed by Chef and Chris. "Two airports on an island the size of a postage stamp, and he misses both. But somehow, it's my fault", Chris said. He glared at Chef, and Chef glared back. "You blew our money for the season on your part of the plane!", Chef told him. "Chris, Izzy and Owen need help!", Courtney yelled.

_Confession Cam: Owen_

"_Ah, no biggie! Just a concussion. Can you parents my phone and worry them not to tell Santa?"_

An ambulance drove onto the beach. It drove away after the paramedics got Owen and Izzy into the back of it, and Chris went to the other contestants. "Izzy and Owen are gonna be fine. Thanks to travel insurance, they're gonna get all the help they'll need." "What about the rest of us?", Gwen asked. Chris scratched his chin. "Well, we're out of gas, plane's busted, and we're broke. But, the show must go on! We can't waste any of this footage! Think of the hits we'll get on Cliptube!" "Where are we, anyway?", Tyler asked. "Jamaica, man! We were supposed to land in Ochos Rios, but since somebody for got how to fly, we'll have to do the challenges here instead, and fast, before whoever owns this dump shows up and asks for a location fee." "Didn't you guys budget for the whole season?", Noah asked. "Some things cost more than expected. Airplane ready hot tubs don't grow on trees, you know." "You must have an emergency fund!", Heather said. "Spent it on our last fuel-up." "Which went sooo well", Noah said sarcastically. Chris and Chef walked away. "Grab your board shorts and meet me at the waterfall", Chris said.

The teams followed Chris and found him atop a waterfall, wearing an odd outfit. Noah laughed. "Pretty blouse!", he said. "It's a dashiki, man", Chris told him. Bridgette giggled. "Yeah, a woman's dashiki." "What!" "Can we get to the challenge please?", Courtney asked. Chris nodded. "I like to call our first challenge the treasure hunt of death! We were supposed to do this at Dan's river falls, but this much more dangerous waterfall will have to do." Bridgette smirked. "A water challenge? Perfect." "Your challenge begins with a dive off beautiful Wherever We Are falls, into the lagoon far below. "Which is full of what, sharks?", Noah asked. "Nope." The contestants sighed with relief. "Electric eels AND sharks!" The contestants groaned. "Players must make tag team dives into the infested waters for as long as you can hold your breath to search the lagoon floor for pirate treasure, AKA the gold chains Chef always wears on karaoke night. First team to bring me the treasure wins a major advantage in the next challenge. So, good luck, especially to Team I am Super Duper Mega Whopper Hot and Team Amazon. You each have a team member out of commission, so you'll have to work extra hard to make up for their absences and keep up with Bridgette." Noah smiled. "No problem! Tyler, it's your lucky day. You get to do all the dives!" Tyler cheered. "Yeah! Wait..."

_Confession Cam: Sierra_

"_Noah's smarter than I thought. Or maybe Tyler's dumber than I thought... either way, I'm glad we have Noah on our team, he's a good leader."_

Tyler walked up to the edge of the cliff. "Yeah, let's do this!", he said. Cody and Bridgette walked up as well. "I've got in in the bag", Cody said. Bridgette just rolled her eyes and prepared to dive. Chris counted down. "Three, two, one, go!" The three teens dove into the water. Cody landed and got beat up by a shark. Bridgette and Tyler went under, but Tyler was having some trouble.

_Confession Cam: Tyler_

"_I don't see well under water. I guess it's a trade off for my super strong fingers. Considering I can bench press eighty pounds with my pinkie, that seems fair enough."_

While Cody went to tag one of his teammates, Tyler surfaced. "Woohoo! I got the chains!" He raised his arm and held up and electric eel. "Oh no..." The eel zapped him. Then, Bridgette surfaced and ran up the hill to Lindsay. "I saw the chains! I can get them on the next dive, so hurry and do yours!" She tagged Lindsay and Cody tagged Gwen. The girls jumped off the cliff, while Tyler ran up and then dove again. Tyler found a tire, while Gwen found a swarm of electric eels. Bridgette went under, and when she came back up she was holding the gold chains. "I did it!" "Team Victory wins round one!", Chris announced. Bridgette and Lindsay cheered. "Now we just need to get Gwen to the hospital with the others... Chef?" Chef grumbled and dove to get Gwen.

While Chef got Gwen, Chris led the rest of the contestants down the hill. "Okay, Team Victory. As the winners of the first challenge, you also win this advantage for challenge number two", he said. He pulled out a pair of helmets and threw them to the girls. Heather glared at him. "Helmets! Oh great, NOW what?" "Just a little something I like to call the bobsled of death! Turn around, guys!" The teens turned and gasped at the giant race track they saw. "Oh, this one's gonna hurt", Noah said. Chris nodded. "Yeah. The intern who tested it is gonna be out for around ten months. And, we can't afford bobsleds, so you're gonna ride longboards with wheels in teams of two, bobsled style, down the track and into the empty pool at the end. Each team gets three runs, and the fastest total time wins. Ready?" Heather nodded and pointed to Cody. "Ladies first!", she said. "Hey!"

Cody and Courtney, Tyler and Sierra, and Bridgette and Lindsay went to the start of the race track. Chris and Chef were relaxing in some chairs at the pool on the other end while Heather and Noah stood by. "So we have to wait for a cash inflow from the producers before we can leave. So what? Get the interns to fill the pool, and it's a paid vacation, bro!", Chris told Chef. Chef nodded. "Maybe crashing the jet wasn't so bad after all." Then, Owen ran toward them. "Hey, wait up! Doc says I'm okay to compete!" He tripped and slid over to the other teens. "Ugh... but some military guys took Izzy because she got super smart from the plane crash." Chris shrugged, picked up a megaphone and yelled "Owen's back! Now, Round one. Team Amazon, go!" Courtney and Cody raced through the course and into the pool, landing safely. "Forty seven seconds is the time to beat. Team I am So Hunky Dory Dreamy Hot, go!" Sierra and Noah raced through the course and landed badly. Chris winced and picked up the megaphone again. "Fifty eight seconds! Team Amazon is still in the lead. Team Victory, go!" The girls sped through the course and reached the exit, crashing into a wall. "Fifty seconds! Team Amazon is still in the lead!", Chris yelled. "Um, we're all here now, you can stop with the megaphone!", Courtney said. "Maybe I just like it! Round two!"

Heather and Courtney, Noah and Owen and Team Victory went to the start of the race track. Heather turned to Courtney, worried. "Your lawyers know the show's contract inside and out. Chris can't really kill us, right?", she asked. "Well, technically they can't, but..." Chris picked up his megaphone again. "Team Amazon, go!" The girls raced along the course, exited the final ramp and flopped into the pool. "Fifty six seconds! Not as good as last time, but for the moment you're still in the lead. Next up!" Team Chris finished with fifty five seconds, and Team Victory finished with sixty. "Okay, time for round three!" Owen and Tyler, Cody and Heather, and Team Victory went to the start of the race track once again. "Team Amazon, go!" The Amazons raced through the course and finished, landing on the far side of the pool. "Fifty three seconds, for a combined time of two minutes and thirty six seconds! Team Chris, you're up!" The guys sped through the track. When they landed, Owen fell on top of Tyler. "Wow, fifty seconds! That's your best time yet, for a total time of two minutes and forty three seconds. Team Victory, let's see if you can beat that! Go!" The girls sped through the course. "Final time for Team Victory is... Two minutes, thirty eight seconds!" Bridgette and Lindsay cheered. "Team Amazon won, and with the highest total time, Team Chris is going to the elimination room."

Chris and Team Chris got back on the plane and went to the elimination room. "Okay, you guys know the drill. You've all cast your votes, and one of you is going home. The lucky guys who are NOT going home are Noah, Sierra and... Owen." Tyler frowned. "Guess doing all the dives myself wasn't that great an idea." Noah shrugged. "Yeah, sorry about that." "It's okay." Tyler got up, got a parachute from Chris, and jumped out of the plane. He landed on the beach right next to it. "Why did we even get on the plane?", he asked. Chris went to the door and glared at him. "It's tradition! Just deal with it." Tyler sighed. "Fine."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Aftermath B

It's the Total Drama World Tour Aftermath Show! The cameras turned on to show the applauding studio audience, then zoomed in on Trent and Eva on the couch in the middle of the stage. Trent smiled at the cameras. "Hey there! I'm Trent, this is Eva, and we're coming to you live because we need your help." Eva nodded. "Yeah, the stupid tour jet crashed in Jamaica. We need some money for gas and stuff because Chris spent all his money on his room on the plane." "If we don't raise enough money, the cast might be stuck in Jamaica and the show will be canceled." The audience gasped. "Don't worry, guys. That's why tonight we're bringing you the Total Drama Telethon", Trent said. The audience cheered. "We've got the other rejects for this season, and the losers from last episode, standing by to take your calls. So, call now and donate!" Eva stood up and yelled at the cameras. "Seriously, call now! We just need five hundred thousand dollars, so call so we can end this episode!" Trent raised an eyebrow. "You really don't like hosting, huh?"

Then, Blaineley walked onstage. "That's right, you need to give us five hundred thousand dollars in the next half hour. Hi, I'm Blaineley Stacey Andrews O'Halloran, and I'm your co-host." Trent shook his head. "No, Eva's the co-host tonight. You're supposed to be out reporting stuff." Blaineley glared for a bit, then smiled. "I'm thrilled to be here tonight, co-hosting with Trent and Eva." Trent stood up next to Eva and whispered "I thought she was going back to her old job at Celebrity Manhunt." Eva shrugged. "Guess they wouldn't take her back." "I'll keep you posted on the total as your calls and your cash pour in. just call one eight hundred, five five five, zero one one one. Call now, we have gifts!", Blaineley said. Trent nodded. "That's right! For a donation of twenty five bucks, you'll get a bag of Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fish Tails." Eva raised an eyebrow. "Is that supposed to be good?" Trent ignored her. "And for fifty bucks, you'll get a special Total Drama t-shirt. Be careful, they shrink easily." "If you get a busy signal, keep trying! You'll get through eventually!"

Trent turned to the phone operators. None of the phones were ringing. "If you guys don't start donating soon, everyone here is gonna get fired, and the show gets canceled. I'm pretty sure you want to avoid that." "Our target goal is five hundred thousand dollars", Blaineley said, "and thanks to your donations, we've reached a grand total of... nothing!" Eva grumbled, and Trent tried to keep smiling. "Well, let's welcome our first guest, and encourage his fans to call in. Since Ezekiel went missing, our first guest is also the first newcomer to get voted off: Alejandro." The audience cheered and Alejandro walked onstage. He waved and smiled at the cameras. "Hello, everyone! It's an honor to be here!" Trent motioned for him to sit down on the couch nearby, and he did so. "So, Alejandro, tell our viewers about the gifts you've brought for the viewers who call in." "Of course! My dad's a diplomat, so he's always traveling. I've gathered up a large stack of signed post cards from around the world! Just donate one hundred dollars and you can get one of your own." Suddenly, calls came in and all the operators started talking. Eva sighed. "Thank goodness..." Blaineley shook her head. "Actually, Katie and Sadie are calling each other, Harold is checking on movie times-" "Alien Bonzai Three premiers tonight!" "And our new fundraising total is... two hundred and three dollars. And two hundred of that came from Harold's mom, in exchange for his promise to clean the garage." "I'm very thorough", Harold said.

"Okay, we've got a lot of progress to make by the end of the episode. Come on, call in and donate! Without this show, I'm just another washed up rock star! So, who wants to see a segment of Total Drama Fugitives?" The audience cheered. "Awesome. We aren't gonna show it until we get ten thousand in donations, so call in." Suddenly, another rush of calls came in. Trent smiled. "Perfect. All you Duncan fans, keep dialing." Blaineley gasped and pointed at a screen above the operators. "Hey, we just hit ten thousand!", she said. "Perfect! Now for Total Drama Fugitives."

"First off, we have a new fugitive", Trent said. "Ezekiel went missing after he got kicked off", Eva added. "No one knows where he went, and personally I don't care. But, it's possible he's somewhere on the plane. Watch the clip." Eva picked up a remote and turned on the TV screen above her. It showed some footage of the cargo hold on the plane, with a mysterious figure moving around in the dark. Then, it ended. "Ezekiel? Not Ezekiel. Heck if I know." "We've also got an update on Duncan", Trent said. "Fans have sent in dozens of Duncan sighting tips, and tonight we're showing you the two best leads. If you're a Duncan fan and think they're real, cast your vote by calling in, and make a donation while you're at it." "The first clip is from some kid in Texas", Eva said. She hit the remote again and the TV showed an Elvis impersonator walking around. He bumped into someone and his wig fell off, revealing a green mohawk. The audience gasped, and the clip ended with the impersonator running away. Eva shrugged. "I don't think it was Duncan." Trent chuckled. "Oh please, that goofy rock star costume totally goes with his hair do", he said. "Whatever. Next clip is from Italy." She hit the remote once more, and the video changed. It showed the leaning tower in Pisa, and a guy wearing a cloak tripping someone, which ended with him falling into a lake. The clip ended. The audience laughed, and so did Trent. "Okay, maybe that one was Duncan. What do the viewers think?", Trent asked.

"We've got hundreds of calls during the fugitive segment, and their donations have added a whopping... hundred bucks to our total." Blaineley groaned. Eva did as well. "Come on, people, we need some stinking cash! Just call in already!" "Well, let's bring in our next guest, Tyler!" The audience cheered as Tyler ran onstage, then laughed when he tripped and fell. He got back up and walked over to the couch by Alejandro. "Tyler's gonna be auctioning off tickets to the Super Bowl!" Another bunch of calls came in, but Tyler looked confused. "Wait, the Super Bowl isn't for months, how do we have tickets for it?" "Just roll with it", Trent said. Tyler shrugged. "Okay, let's make this even better. If you call in and make a donation, we'll have Tyler play the sport of your choice onstage." More calls came in, and Tyler smiled. "Finally, I can show off my skill at normal sports instead of crazy challenges!"

More calls came in and Blaineley checked the total. "We're up to fifty thousand! Now, for the first sport: pole vaulting!" A pair of interns brought in a pole, a vault to jump over and a landing pad. Tyler took the pole and grinned. "Alright. Stand back, everyone!" He charged, jumped with the pole, and forgot to let go of it. He crashed into the vault, knocking it over and hurling the pole. It hit a stage light and knocked it down. The audience laughed and cheered, and Tyler slowly stood up, groaning in pain. "Next up, basketball!", Blaineley shouted. Two interns brought in a basketball and a net. Tyler took the ball, took aim and threw it, but hit the TV above Trent and Eva, which fell to the ground. Eva glared at Tyler. "Hey, watch it!", she yelled. "One more, one more! Next up, football!", Blaineley shouted. Tyler cheered. "My favorite sport! Yeah!" An intern brought him a round, black and white ball. Tyler looked confused. "Wait, this is a soccer ball!" Blaineley shook her head. "This is Total Drama WORLD tour, Tyler. 'Football' usually means a different sport outside of America." Tyler shrugged. "Well, okay..." He dropped the ball, dribbled it a bit, then kicked it. It hit Eva, Blaineley, Beth, Katie, Sadie, DJ, and another stage light, then hit someone in the audience.

Eva walked up to Blaineley and picked her up. "That's it, no more sports! Got it!" Blaineley nodded. "Fine, fine! Still, we've hit three hundred thousand dollars!" "Well that's good..." "But, due to all the damage Tyler caused, we need to raise another hundred grand to fix this place." Eva growled and glared at a camera. "Okay, call in and donate if you wanna see me strangle this idiot!" Trent ran up to Eva. "Eva, calm down! I have an idea. Ladies, you think Alejandro is hot, right?" The female audience members cheered. "If you call in and raise another hundred grand, we'll have Alejandro take his shirt off and flex, live!" Another bunch of calls came in. After a minute, Blaineley gasped. "Trent, it actually worked! We're at over four hundred thousand!" Alejandro sighed. "Well, I guess I have no choice." He smirked, pulled his shirt off and threw it to the audience. The fangirls screamed. He started posing and flexing, and a few girls ran onstage. A bunch of interns came to block them and keep them away, and after a few minutes one of them gave Alejandro his shirt.

"Okay, we have another two hundred thousand to rake in. What's left to do?", Eva asked. "It's time for our final guest, Izzy!", Trent said. The audience cheered. "Izzy is a pretty unique girl. She's the only contestant on the RCMP's Most Wanted list, and is also the only contestant to be removed from the game by the military. Please welcome Izzy!" The audience cheered again, but Izzy didn't walk onstage. Eva looked confused. "Umm... please welcome Brainzilla?" Izzy walked onstage, wearing glasses and with her hair up. She walked over to the couch and sat down. "Greetings, carbon based life form commonly referred to as Trent", she said. "Hey, Brainzilla. How are ya?", Trent asked. "Brainzilla's health falls within acceptable parameters, thank you. More importantly, she is making cracking progress on her new time machine." "Whoa, seriously?" "Brainzilla is also close to patenting a doughnut maker that fits in your purse." Geoff ran over from the operator table and hugged Izzy. "Izzy, babe! How's it hangin'?", he asked. "Greetings, carbon based life form commonly referred to as Geoffrey. It is 'hanging' rather well." "Did you miss me?" Izzy nodded. "Certainly. I was quite dissatisfied to be in so many foreign locations, at distances so far from my romantic partner." Geoff looked confused. "Why are you talking like that?" "Geoffrey, I'm more intelligent than you habitually give me recognition for. I'm more than a psychologically abnormal pubescent female with knowledge of chemistry and a fondness for reprehensible behavior." Geoff frowned. "Oh... um... sorry... I know I'm supposed to apologize, but I didn't understand what you said, so I'm not sure why."

"Alright, it's time for our newest segment", Trent said. "We call it Brain Blast!" He and Eva strapped Izzy to a multicolored wheel on a platform near a shark tank. "Here's how it works. You make donations, and I blast Brainzilla with skill testing questions. The bigger the donation, the harder the questions. And you're gonna want these questions to be super hard." Izzy looked down at the sharks. "Fascinating creatures. They can have up to three thousand teeth. When did you last feed these cartilaginous beauties?" "It's been a few days. One wrong answer from Brainzilla, and her straps will be released, dunking her into the shark tank. If you're a fan of violence, sharks or skill testing questions, call now." Soon, some calls came in. Eva smiled. "I think I'm gonna like this." She gave the wheel a spin, and Izzy giggled. "I say, ninety rotations per minute! Marvelous!" "First question, geography. Level of difficulty: major. What's the capital of Uzbekistan?", Trent asked. "Please. Tashkent." "Correct!" Eva gave the wheel another spin. "Next question, economics. Level of difficulty: brutal. What's the equivalent of two thousand seven hundred and eighty nine dollars, in yen?" "Elementary. Twenty one million, nine hundred eighty one thousand, five hundred and fifty one point eight two." Eva grumbled and turned the wheel again. "Next question, math. Level of difficulty: impossible. What's the square root of sixty seven." "Child's play! Eight point one eight five three five two seven seven one eight seven two four five." Trent went wide-eyed. "Wow. Okay, um, next round..."

Eva growled and spun the wheel harder than ever. It broke free from the platform and rolled away until it hit a wall. "Oww!" Izzy stumbled back to the stage with a sand bag on her head. Geoff ran up to her. "Izzy, babe, are you okay!" "What are you talking about? I heart marshmallow sauce, okay?" Izzy cartwheeled away, and Geoff smiled. "It's good to have you back, Izzy." Izzy did a handstand and smiled. "Aww, I missed you too!" Trent sighed. "Well, that's it for Brain Blast... Blaineley, what's our grand total?" "Gimme a second..." Blaineley smiled. "We did it! We hit six hundred thousand!" The audience, operators and hosts all cheered. Eva smiled at the cameras. "Thank you! Thank you! I get to leave this stupid studio until the next episode, and I don't have to host again! See you later, losers! Oh, and stay tuned for more Total Drama World Tour!"


	13. Chapter 13

**I just have a few things to say before starting this chapter. First of all, we're halfway through the season now. Thank you for reading this far, I appreciate it and hope you continue until the story is over. Second, this chapter is a bit more mature than most of the others, but still not bad enough to be M rated. You've been warned, though. And finally, anyone who understands what the title is a reference to deserves a coaster for their drink. And now, without further ado...**

Chapter 13: Why So British?

A few days after the telethon, Total Drama World Tour resumed. The fueled up plane flew north to the next destination. Chris went to First Class to talk to Team Amazon. "Hey there, girls! And Cody", he said. Heather groaned. "Okay, what is it?", she asked. "I'm gonna need you all to go sit in the economy class for a while. I have some business to conduct here, so get moving." The Amazons did so. Gwen sat down on a bench in economy class, and Courtney sat down on her hand by mistake. Gwen screamed in pain. "Ahh, sunburn! Oww!" Courtney got up and Gwen pulled her hand away. Gwen blew on her hand and Courtney frowned. "Sorry, Gwen... how did you get burned on just your hand, anyway?" "Ugh, I don't know!" "I have an idea." Courtney ran off, and came back carrying a bucket. "Here, soak your hand in this." "What is it?", Gwen asked. "It'll cool the burn. It's a special mix of green tea and bird guano." Gwen put her hand in. "I think it's working... wait, guano? Isn't that-" "A nicey-nice word for poop", Heather said. Gwen pulled her hand out. "Eww!" "Poop that's full of healing ingredients! I learned how to make it at CIT first aid weekend", Courtney said. "It's gross, but it helps, right?" "Ugh... yes. Well, thanks for being nice-ish." Gwen put her hand back in the mixture and Courtney smiled. Heather looked disgusted. "Bonding over poop juice? Ugh! Is there anyone sane left around here?" Cody raised his hand. "I guess that'll work."

Across the isle, Sierra was typing something on an open pizza box. "Tweeter update! Gwen's hand smells like Jamaican bird doodie. Cody is still cute. Uh... sixty seven characters. Seventy three left, what else can I say?", she asked herself. Noah cleared his throat and pretended to type. "Buying a life online, can't decide which cause they're all so much better", he said. "There. Seventy three characters exactly." Owen laughed and squirted milk out his nose, hitting Noah with it. "Dude, gross!" "Sorry, about the nose shake, Noah! Milk is the only thing that really cools off a mouth full of Jamaican peppers." Owen ate a handful of peppers, then took a swig of milk from a carton. Noah started mocking Sierra again. "Must learn how to make nose shakes like Owen. That'll impress Cody!", he said. Owen laughed, and squirted a pepper out his nose somehow. It hit Cody in the face, and Noah laughed.

_Confession Cam: Owen_

"_Aww, my little buddy Noah is like the funniest guy I know, so makin' him laugh is awesome. It's like getting an A plus in hilarity! I wanna top his honor roll! ...Did that sound creepy?"_

"Noah, check it out. I'll shoot a pepper out whichever nostril you pick!", Owen said. Noah rolled his eyes. "Yeah, cause one nose shake a day isn't enough", Noah said. Owen checked his carton. "Aww, but I'm outta milk!" "Hey, Courtney! How much of that poop juice have you got left?", Noah asked. Owen laughed while Courtney glared at Noah and Sierra stormed off.

_Confession Cam: Sierra_

"_Okay, Noah may be a good leader, but if he's going to mock me, he isn't gonna be on this team much longer."_

Sierra walked by first class on her way back to economy class, and overheard Chris talking to Chef. "It's perfect, he'll do anything to get what he wants! He'll take them out like a lion hunting a pack of chubby, asthmatic gazelles!", Chris said. "But what if he 'takes them out' takes them out?", Chef asks. "Legal says we're clear. Besides, the ratings from it would get us a bunch of hits online." Sierra peeked into first class and saw Chris and Chef standing in front of a cloaked man holding a knife. Sierra gasped and pulled away from the door. "Did you hear something?", Chris asked. After a second, Sierra turned back to the economy class, but the cloaked man was right in front of her. Sierra screamed and the man pulled her into first class.

Chef and Chris went back to the cockpit, and Chris turned on the intercom. "Attention, helpless competitors! We've been denied permission to land, so you're gonna have to jump! And, Chef may have miscounted parachutes, so you might wanna hurry and grab one while you can!" The teens ran to the elimination room and strapped into the parachutes, with Noah forced to share one with Owen and jumping out last. They all jumped and landed on a bridge with a double-decker bus on it. Lindsay gasped and hugged Cody. "Oh my gosh, we're in London! One of the culture capitals of the world!" Cody smiled. "I know. And let me guess, that means shopping?" "Aww, you know me so well." Lindsay kissed Cody. Finally, Owen landed on top of the bus. And on top of Noah. "Wow, that wasn't so bad, was it, Noah?" Noah grumbled something, muffled by Owen.

The contestants got on the bus, and Chef and Chris soon joined them. "Hey Chris, where's Sierra?", Owen asked. Chris looked around suspiciously. "Yes, where is she? The answer in a sec, but first, floor it, Chef!" Chef started driving, and Chris picked up a microphone. "London, home to loads of wicked stuff. Big Ben, the London eye, the sandwich stuffed with french fries known as the chip buddy. London's also home to Scotland Yard, the world's biggest crime busting outfit. But, there was one case even Scotland Yard couldn't crack: Jack the Ripper, the wacko serial killer who terrorized Victorian London. Today, you'll be tracking that bad boy down. But be careful, Jack's also hunting you. That's why Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot is now short a team member." Owen gasped. "What! The ripper got Sierra!" "Next stop, Tower of London!"

Heather turned around in her seat to face Gwen and Courtney. "Gwen, you're all dark and dangerous. What do you know about this Ripper guy?", she asked. "I know tons about him. I did a speech on him in grade six." Courtney smiled. "Wow, that's unexpectedly useful of you." Gwen grinned. "The librarian said my fascination was morbid, and occasionally offensive." "Funny. My grade six speech? The Tower of London." "Wow, we're like a nerdette dream team!"

**Okay, question from the author for any readers in Canada. What's up with this "grade six speech" thing? I'm in America so I don't get it. The only speech I did in sixth grade was a book report for English class, not a research presentation. Enlighten me, please.**

Chef drove to the tower, and the contestants got out of the bus, followed by Chris. "Your challenge is to follow a series of clues through the tower complex, all the way to the Ripper's secret lair", Chris explained. "Bag the criminal mastermind with these oversized sacks before he gets you, and you win. Your first clue will be found during the 'changing of the guard.' And when I say change, I mean changing clothes. Your first clue is hidden somewhere on each of the three guards in front of the tower. One of you has to strip him down to his gitch until you find it." The teens groaned, and some of the guys looked like they might throw up.

After a few minutes of complaining, the teams got to work. Bridgette stripped down the guard for Team Victory, Owen for Team Chris, and Courtney for Team Amazon. Courtney was the first to find a clue, and read it. "Pulled taught atop a southern spire... quick, follow me!" Courtney ran to the tower, with her team right behind her. Soon after, Bridgette found her clue. "Southern spire? Um... Okay, follow the other team!" She and Lindsay ran after the Amazons.

Team Amazon went to a torture chamber in the tower. Courtney gasped when they got there. "Oh my gosh, this is where Anne B. lived before Henry the Eighth beheaded her!" "What's with the creepy desk?", Heather asked. Chef walked up to them, dressed as an executioner. "It's a medieval torture rack. Pretty simple, really. To find your next clue, toss someone on and stretch them out." Chef laughed, and Gwen smirked. "I volunteer Heather!" "I second that motion!", Courtney said. "Hey!" Cody shrugged. "Well you are the tallest, the stretching should get done sooner", he said. Heather sighed. "Fine. Strap me in."

Back outside, Owen was stripping the guard down and put his hat on. "Hey Noah, check this!" Owen started talking in a very high pitch. "I say, I'm the queen! Oh, heavens! I think I ate too many royal beans at the royal luncheon!" Owen clenched and tried to fart. "Hold on stay with me here!" Noah sighed and took Owen's place by the guard. After a few minutes there was nothing left but his gloves and underwear. Noah sighed. "A pen in his pants pocket, lint in his socks, that's it! No clue! And no way am I searching his boxers." "We could find another guy to strip!", Owen suggested. He took his hat off and looked in it. "Hey, look, there's a clue in here!" Noah glared at him, and he smiled awkwardly. "Heheh... funny, right? I say, pip pip..."

Back inside, while Gwen and Courtney tied Heather up, Cody wandered off. "Hey Chef, do you have any restraining devices I can use on Sierra to keep her away from me? Chef? Chef, where'd you go?" He walked out into a hallway and saw someone in the distance. "Oh, there you are!" The person turned and ran at Cody, brandishing a knife. Cody screamed and tried to run, but collided with a wall. The person reached Cody and shoved him into a sack. In the torture chamber, Gwen was cranking the stretcher wheel. Heather screamed in pain. "You did that on purpose, you bitch!" Courtney smirked at her. "Every cloud has a silver lining!" Gwen and Courtney laughed and stretched Heather again. "Stop enjoying this, you cunts!" "Oh please, like you wouldn't do the same." "That's not the point!" After a few more stretches, a piece of paper popped out of the torture rack. "Hey, the next clue! Gwen, let's go!" Courtney and Gwen ran off, leaving Heather stuck on the rack. "Where do you think you're going! Get back here!"

_Confession Cam: Gwen_

"_I know! Courtney! I never knew I'd even be able to tolerate her, but she's... deal-able. We even have stuff in common, which is like... the weirdest thing ever. If I tip over the edge and start making lists like she does, put ME on that torture rack."_

_Confession Cam: Courtney_

"_I know! Gwen! She's not a complete asocial freak after all. Sometimes she's even a good person to have on your team. Sometimes! You know, I wouldn't mind going against her in the final two. Obviously I'd still win, though. She's incapable of making a list!"_

After Gwen and Courtney left, Lindsay and Bridgette wandered into the torture chamber. Bridgette walked over to Heather. "Where's the rest of your team? Why are you tied up on this thing?", she asked. Heather groaned in pain. "They stretched me on it to get the clue, and then left!" Bridgette frowned. "Aww, you poor thing..." She climbed on top of Heather and smirked. "You know, I never expected to be in this situation..." She kissed Heather, who blushed. "Maybe you can stay a little longer?" Lindsay backed away from the other girls. "Okay, this is getting freaky..." Bridgette blushed. "Exactly." Suddenly, a man wearing a cloak walked in. Lindsay went wide-eyed. "Umm, this isn't what it looks like! ...Oh, who am I kidding, yes it is." The cloaked man pulled out a knife and the girls screamed. He ran up and put the girls into a bag, and then dragged them away.

Later, Noah and Owen got to the torture room. "Well, this is an odd place to put the clue. What do we have to do, search everything?", Noah asked. Chef walked up to them, still dressed as an executioner. "Nah, you just gotta stretch someone on the torture rack until the clue pops out. By the way, did you guys see Team Victory on your way here?" Noah shook his head. "Alright then." Chef left and Noah got on the rack. Owen stretched him out until the clue appeared. Noah sighed. "Perfect. Okay, untie me and let's get going." Owen looked confused. "Um... how do I untie you, exactly?"

Gwen and Courtney went downstairs and entered the dining hall. "There's some kind of jewelry case on the table... I guess we go in and get it. Can it be that easy?", Courtney asked. Gwen shrugged. "Nothing we can do except find out." The girls walked in and went to the case. "Okay, where is it? Gold toothpick, emerald studded toothbrush... what is wrong with these royals and their dentistry?", Courtney asked. Gwen turned and gasped. "Ask the guard dogs!" A pack of corgis approached the girls, growling. "Hey, got anything round in the case?", Gwen asked. Courtney tossed her an egg shaped object. Gwen raised it above her head, and started tossing it back and forth in her hands. The corgis calmed down and watched it. "That's right, follow the shiny ball. Now, sit!" The dogs sat down. Courtney smiled at them. "Aww, so cute! How did you do that?" "I taught my lizards dog tricks. Training a normal dog is easier in comparison." Gwen twirled the egg thing and it opened up. "The clue!" Courtney grabbed the clue from the egg. "Let's hurry and finish this challenge! The Ripper's most natural place has two levels inside its space. Go use your sack to bring the guy back, at the red starting line to the race." Gwen scratched her chin. "Okay, the Ripper's natural place... if I remember right from my speech, he did his dirty work in White Chapel." "So we go there, and we look for a two story building! Come on!"

While the remains of Team Amazon went looking for the Ripper, the remains of Team Victory went into the dining hall. Owen held the corgis off while Noah looked for the clue. He laughed. "Hey Noah, check it out! It's a fur coat for animal lovers!" Noah rolled his eyes. Then, he found the clue and opened it. "The Ripper's natural place has two levels that make up its space... Sure, easy peasy." "Double decker bus?", Owen suggested. "Yeah... so there IS a brain in your head! You've been holding out on me." "Holding out? I TOLD you I smuggled some wieners off the plane!"

Gwen and Courtney got to White Chapel late in the evening. "I guess we forgot that most of White Chapel would be closed", Gwen said. "And that the only place open would be a grungy punk club", Courtney added. "I guess my hunch sucked. Sorry... we are so coming in last place!" "I don't wanna go back empty handed! We should fill the bag with SOMETHING..." Then, an announcer in the club started talking. "Welcome your number one German punk rock band, Der Schnitzel Kickers!" The audience cheered, and the girls walked in. They looked up onstage, and Courtney gasped. "Holy schnitzel! Is that... Duncan!"

Owen and Noah went back to the bus and looked around. "Here, Ripper Ripper Ripper... I have a lovely bag for you..." A cloaked man dropped down behind Noah and grabbed him, covering his mouth so he couldn't scream. Then, he jumped back up to the ceiling. Owen turned around and saw no one. "Huh?" He looked around and saw the cloaked man menacing Noah with a knife. He shoved him into the driver's box, and Noah screamed. Owen glared at him. "Nobody locks my little buddy in the corner!" He emptied the sack, and a bunch of corgis came out. "Royal beasts, sick him!" The corgis attacked Owen instead. "No no, stop! Back corgis! Oww! Oww, my wieners! I just smuggled those, stop eating them!" Owen kicked a sausage out of a corgi's mouth, and it landed in the cloaked man's arms. The corgis attacked him, and Owen shoved a bag over him. "Haha, gotcha!" Noah cheered. "Alright, Owen!" "Who's Jack the Ripper now, huh?" Owen bent over and farted at the bagged man.

The next morning, everyone got back on the plane, including the contestants the cloaked man had bagged. The teams stood by their bags, and Owen smiled. "Sweet, everybody's okay!" Heather nodded. "Yep! Everyone's fine. Thank goodness..." She walked over to Bridgette and hugged her. Cody hugged Lindsay and they started making out, and Sierra tried to hug Cody, but Lindsay pushed her away. Noah cleared his throat. "So, it's great that everyone's okay. But more importantly, we caught the Ripper type guy!" Owen removed the bag over the cloaked man, then took the cloak off and revealed Ezekiel. Everyone gasped. Chris and Chef walked up, and Chef nodded. "Found him living in the cargo hold with the rats. Darn kid just wouldn't accept losing." Ezekiel glared at Chef. "Why should I, eh? I lost first last season, and didn't even compete in season two! I want another chance, eh!" Chris sighed. "Dude, I was gonna let you back in the game if you avoided getting captured, but since you could not..." Chris snapped his fingers and Chef picked Ezekiel up. "No, no wait! You can't do this! This is whack, yo! Totally whack!" Chef carried Ezekiel away and threw him out of the plane.

"So, who did Courtney and Gwen catch?", Heather asked. "Well, Chris wanted a criminal, so... okay, we didn't catch the right one, but look!" Gwen pulled the bag away and revealed Duncan. Everyone else gasped and Duncan stood up, glaring at the girls. "I can't believe you brought me back here! I quit, remember? Ugh, where's the stupid exit again?", he asked. He tried to leave, but Chris blocked him. "Not so fast, quitter. Thought you could skip out on the game, eh? Thought I wouldn't find you?" "Um, you didn't, we did", Gwen pointed out. Chris nodded. "And you did a good job. You're safe from elimination tonight. Team Chris, since you guys caught the ripper, so are you. And Team Victory, who didn't catch anything, has to vote someone off. As a consolation prize, the D man is now on your team." Duncan sighed. "So, head to the elimination room and make your votes."

_Confession Cam: Duncan_

"_I don't care what Chris says, he can't keep me here. I'll vote myself out just to piss him off. That should work."_

Team Victory went to the elimination room, and Chris read the votes. "Okay, the lucky contestants who get to stay are Bridgette and... Lindsay! You guys seriously voted off Duncan!" Duncan smirked. "Actually I voted myself off. You are NOT gonna make me stay on your stupid singing show!" "Dude. I cut the singing part after you quit." Duncan went wide-eyed. "Wait, what?" "You just lost your chance at a million bucks, dude!" "What!" Chris threw a parachute to Duncan and Chef pushed him to the door. "No, you can't do this! I wanna vote again, this isn't fair!" "Too bad, man! Have a nice fall!" Chef pushed Duncan out of the plane, and Bridgette and Lindsay cheered.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Do As the Romans Do

While the plane flew south to its next destination, Team Chris relaxed in first class. Noah was reading, Sierra was typing on a pizza box and Owen was eating. "So, where do you think we're going next?", Sierra asked the others. Noah shrugged. "Beats me." "Hopefully somewhere with lots of food", Owen said. Noah put his book down and sighed. "Owen, can't you care about something else for a change?", he asked. "I can try, I guess. Um... do you think we'll win again?" Noah nodded. "We have a good chance. With my brains, and you guys backing it up with brawn, we're a perfect team. We're just at a numbers disadvantage."

Meanwhile, Team Amazon and Team Victory were stuck in economy class. While Cody and Lindsay made out, and Bridgette and Heather looked out the windows, Gwen and Courtney were talking. "Okay, so if we get into another survival challenge, you take charge", Courtney told Gwen. "And if it's a rowing, climbing, first aid, cooking, sewing, singing, dancing, or fighting challenge, I'll take charge." Gwen smirked. "Someone's feeling cocky today." "It's not feeling cocky if you're right. I was a CIT, I have a great skill set!" Heather turned to Courtney, scowling. "Aren't you forgetting a few people?", she asked. Courtney shook her head. "Nope! Gwen and I can handle the challenges. You guys are just backup for team events."

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_Courtney is lucky I'm a lot nicer than I used to be. Otherwise she'd be out of here asap. Too many cooks spoil the broth, and too many leaders spoil the team. For now, though, I have to focus on getting rid of Cody. He and Lindsay are gonna be a problem if they make it to the merge."_

_Confession Cam: Cody_

"_Stupid Courtney, dismissing me like that... I'm glad I have Gwen and Lindsay to rely on. Otherwise I'd probably be a goner. And, if I'm lucky, Sierra will stop being so annoying and start being helpful after the merge. Just need to make sure Lindsay doesn't kill her first."_

"Can you imagine if we made it to the finals?", Courtney asked Gwen. Gwen smiled. "That'd be great. Much better than going up against Heather again." "What do you think Chris would do to turn us against each other?" "Oh, let's not guess. I'd rather just sit back and wait for it to happen."

Soon after, Chris called everyone to the dining area. Once they arrived, he started talking. "Prepare yourselves for challenges of an amateur caliber, because we're recreating the original Olympics! We're heading to the birthplace of the Olympics right now, in-" "Greece", Courtney said. "Atlantis?", Sierra asked. "Mount Olympics?", Owen asked. "Wrong! We're going to Rome, Italy!", Chris said. Owen gasped. "Pizza party!" "Actually, the Olympics did come from Greece", Bridgette said. Lindsay frowned. "Aww, but grease is so nasty and bad for your skin!" "No, they originated in-" "Greece. They're right", Gwen added. Chris scowled and pulled out some papers. After skimming through them, he threw them aside. "Interns!" A pair of interns ran up, and Chris glared at one of them. "Everyone should probably hang onto something, except you." Everyone else did so. Chef tilted the plane, Chris opened a door and the intern fell out. Then, Chris glared at the other intern. "You might wanna find some info on Greece, quickly." The intern nodded and ran away. "Okay, Greece it is! Chef, we're changing course!" Chris walked to the cockpit, leaving the contestants in the dining area.

Sierra glared at the Amazons. "Prepare yourselves for battle!", she said. Courtney smirked. "Oh, please! The Amazons are a Greek legend, we're totally going to win!" "Hope you look good in silver, Noah. I'm great in gold", Heather said. Noah just rolled his eyes. Bridgette cleared her throat. "I think you're all forgetting who the real winners are gonna be. Team Victory for the win!" Heather smiled. "Good luck, Bridgette." "Same to you, babe."

The plane reached its destination and everyone got out by a large building. "Welcome to the Acropolis in Athens, Greece", Chris told the contestants, "home to many of the first Olympians. Who, as my intern has informed me, competed naked." Owen sighed and started removing his belt. "Alright, time to drop the laundry..." "NO! That was just a quirky fact, not an order. There's no need to be a hundred percent accurate", Chris told him. Noah smirked. "I guess that explains why you tried to take us to Rome", he said. Chris ignored him. "We only have to resort to nudity if there's a tiebreaker. For now, stay dressed. VERY dressed. Today we're gonna do things a bit differently. Since Team Victory only has two contestants, and Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot has three, all today's challenges will be one on one matches. Every victory gets you a gold medal. The team with the most golds wins first class tickets to our next destination. Last place wins a brutal elimination ceremony." "Does the second place team get silver medals?", Owen asked. "No." Owen frowned.

_Confession Cam: Owen_

"_As a kid, I always dreamed of being an Olympian. Standing proudly on that podium with my head held high, as I listened to the national anthem, bringing home another silver for Canada..."_

Chris led the contestants into the Acropolis. "Our first historical event is a Grecian scavenger hunt", he said. "The inside of the Odium of Pericles is filled with mazelike rows of huge columns. Players must search through this ancient forest of stone and return with the Grecian treasure that awaits you inside. First one to do so takes the gold. So, who's going in?", he asked. Gwen, Sierra and Lindsay stepped forward.

_Confession Cam: Sierra_

"_I always wanted this to happen. Me, Gwen and Lindsay, fighting for Cody's love! I just didn't expect it to happen so early in the game... or in a scavenger hunt. Whatever. I WILL be victorious! Cody will be mine, I swear it!"_

Chris tossed a garbage can lid to each of the three girls. "Um, why do we need these?", Gwen asked. "These authentic Spartan shields will help you in your treasure hunt, for the treasure you seek is tied to a monstrous boar. And by boar, I mean a really angry bear with tusks glued to its face. Good luck, girls. You're gonna need it. Chef, sound the spartan battle horn!" Chef walked up and played a kazoo. Chris groaned. "That's the Spartan battle horn? For reals? Just... just go already! The rest of you, follow me." The three competitors ran deeper into the Acropolis, while the other contestants went with Chris. They arrived at a circular dirt arena. "Pancratian is an ancient Greek martial art with no rules. Last man standing wins the gold", Chris explained. Courtney smiled. "As the strongest Amazon, I volunteer to fight for our team." Cody stepped forward. "I'm pretty sure I'M the strongest", he said. Courtney laughed. "As I was saying, I'll do it." "Great. Now I need someone from Team I am Really Really Really Really Hot." "I'll do it!", Owen said. "I'm gonna destroy you!" Chris smiled. "Sold! And Bridgette, as the last member of your team here, you're in the match as well."

Meanwhile, the girls in the Acropolis were wandering around. Lindsay found the bear and was being attacked by it. Gwen and Sierra saw this. "Lindsay, hang on!" Gwen ran over to help, using her shield to guard Lindsay. "Sierra, gimme a hand here!" "Why should I help my competition?", she asked. "Forget the challenge!" Sierra glared at them. "It's not about the challenge. She's keeping me from being with Cody!" Lindsay glared at Sierra and crept away from the bear and Gwen. "I'm keeping you away from Cody? He's MY boyfriend!" "He deserves better than you! I know everything about him! Middle name, curfew, blood type, finger print pattern, everything!" Lindsay charged at Sierra and tackled her. "I may not know everything about Cody, but I know I'm gonna KILL you!" "Bring it on, blondie!" The girls started fighting. Meanwhile, Gwen hit the bear with her shield and it fell over. She pulled a gold medal from its neck and sighed with relief.

Back at the wrestling match, Courtney had Owen in a head lock. "You can't beat me, Owen! Just admit defeat now!" "No way, sister!" Owen tried to pull Courtney away from his neck, but she just tightened her grip. "That's it, Courtney, show him who's boss! Go, Amazons!", Heather shouted. Meanwhile, Bridgette was at the edge of the ring. "I'm a lover, not a fighter! I don't wanna do this!" Chris smiled. "You can quit if you want, but that means you lose a gold medal. Your choice." After a minute, Owen fell over, gasping for air. Courtney let go and stood on Owen, grinning wickedly at Bridgette. "Alright, you're next!" Bridgette screamed and ran out of the ring. "Well, we have our winner! The gold medal goes to Team Amazon!" Courtney and her teammates cheered.

Gwen arrived soon after. "I got the gold!", she said. Team Amazon cheered again. Courtney high-fived Gwen. Sierra and Lindsay rolled toward the others, fighting on the ground. Noah and Chris laughed. "Girls, we already had a wrestling event! You can stop now!", Chris said. "Okay, now for the next event." Chris led the team away from the Acropolis, toward a series of hurdles. "Welcome to the hurdles event, the ultimate test of speed and flexibility. Players must leap higher and higher over these hurdles, while racing to the finish line. First one across wins the gold. So, who's doing this one?" Bridgette, Noah and Heather raised their hands. "That should be Cody out there! When he was in second grade, he competed in a hurdles event and won the coveted participation award!", Sierra said. Chris shook his head. "The things you know frighten all of us. Really, they do."

The competitors lined up to start the race. "On your mark, get set, go!" They started running. Bridgette and Heather took the lead, with Noah far behind. "You're going down, Bridgette!", Heather shouted. "No way! You are!", Bridgette yelled back. They turned and glared at each other, then smiled. They slowed down, and tripped over their hurdles. Noah smiled. "Perfect." He climbed over his hurdles, running faster and faster, and passed the girls. They got up and ran after him, but he sprinted to the finish line. "And victory goes to Team Chris is Really Really... you know", Chris said. Owen and Sierra cheered. Noah fell to the ground, gasping for air. "I reeeeally need to work out more..." He passed out.

Chris looked at Team Victory. "Okay. You guys haven't won any gold medals, and the events are over. It's time for the dreaded tiebreaker." An intern arrived, pushing a cart with two pairs of fake wings on it. "Chef spent over one hour building these wings out of wax and the feathers we found in the plane's engines. You girls must strap on the wings and take flight, aiming for the gold medal up there." Chris pointed at a tall column with a medal hanging from it. "Whoever snags the gold medal out of the sky wins invincibility. Normally, this would be for your whole team, but this tiebreaker is necessary because there's only two of you left on your team and we need to see who's going home. Now, since it's a tiebreaker, I'll need you girls to change into these togas." The girls ran off with the togas and did so.

They came back and strapped the wings on. Cody gasped. "Lindsay, you look like an angel..." Lindsay blushed. "Aww, really?" "You always do. But this time you have wings!" Lindsay ran to Cody and kissed him. Heather walked up to Bridgette and patted her shoulder. "Good luck. I really hope you win." Bridgette nodded. Chris picked up a bow and arrow and pulled the string. "Ready... set... go!" He fired a marshmallow tipped arrow and the girls flew upwards. Cody and Heather cheered from the ground. "Go, Bridgette, go!" "You can do it, Lindsay!" "No you can't!", Sierra shouted. Lindsay glared down at her. "I'm gonna fricking dive bomb you if you don't stop that!" "Bring it on, loser!" Lindsay growled, stopped flapping her arms and dove at Sierra. She landed on her head, screaming, and started kicking her. "Die, die already you stupid wannabe Cody stealer!" Heather shouted "Bridgette, hurry!" Bridgette kept flapping her arms, and she reached the medal. She grabbed it with her teeth and stopped flapping. She and the medal fell to the ground. "Bridgette wins!" Heather hugged Bridgette and they cheered. Lindsay kept pummeling Sierra.

That night, Bridgette, Cody and Lindsay went to the elimination room on the plane. Chris followed them, along with an intern carrying a backpack. "Well, it's been a long day. You girls both lost every single challenge, with the exception of Bridgette winning the tiebreaker. The choice is obvious, and it's time to make it official. The drop of shame will be taken by... this intern!" Chris shoved the intern out of the plane. Bridgette, Lindsay and Cody gasped. "Wait... if you were just gonna do that, what was the tiebreaker for?", Bridgette asked. "For drama, of course! And it turns out the tension between Lindsay and Sierra is just heating up! I'm keeping both of your girls here for now. Good luck staying in the game with only two players, though." Cody hugged Lindsay. "I'm really glad you're staying here..." "Me too. Let's kick Team Chris's butt together." Cody smiled. "I'd be glad to."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: Alien Hunting

While on their way to the next destination, Team Chris was in the plane's first class, preparing for their next challenge. Sierra was typing on her pizza box once again. "Tweeter update! Lindsay is going DOWN! Down down down down down! Cody will be mine, she's just in the way." Meanwhile, Noah was talking to Owen. He turned away from Sierra, but looked and pointed at her. "I think she has some characters left for her post. Good thing there's a big, crazy one right there, huh?" Owen chuckled. "What're you laughing about?", Sierra asked. Owen looked scared. "Oh, nothing! Nothing at all, just... laughing for no reason."

_Confession Cam: Sierra_

"_Of course I know boyfriend stealing is wrong. That's why as soon as I eliminate Lindsay, I'm gonna convince Cody to break up with her! Then, he'll be all mine. It's the perfect plan!"_

Meanwhile, Team Victory and Team Amazon were talking in economy class. "So, you'll really help us get rid of Sierra?", Lindsay asked. Courtney smiled. "Of course we will. Everyone on Team Chris is going down at some point, so I'm fine getting rid of them first. But you guys do know you're next on the list, right?" Lindsay glared at her. "Whatever, I just want that boyfriend stealing smarty pants out of here." Bridgette put a hand on her teammate's shoulder. "Lindsay, calm down, okay?" Lindsay brushed her hand away. Meanwhile, Heather sniffed the air. "Are you smelling what I'm smelling?", she asked.

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_There's some serious tension in the air. I'm not gonna try to manipulate anyone, but that doesn't mean I'm not at an advantage because of it. Everyone is so focused on getting rid of Sierra that I'm perfectly safe! Thanks, Sierra!"_

Late that evening, the plane started shaking and Chris turned on the intercom. "Attention, potential crash victims! Please remain calm, our autopilot is testing some equipment! Snacks are available in the common area if you don't believe me and want a last meal." The teams went to the dining area and saw a bowl of fruit. Owen picked up some bananas. "You call these snacks! We're all gonna die!" Noah shoved the bananas into Owen's mouth so he would shut up. Meanwhile, Sierra and Lindsay each ate some fruit, glaring at each other. They kept eating, faster and faster, until Lindsay started choking. Bridgette performed the Heimlich maneuver and the fruit shot out of her throat, hitting Sierra in the face.

The lights went out and everyone gasped. The plane started falling rapidly, and the contestants screamed. After a few seconds, the plane suddenly stopped falling, turned, and fell again. It landed and everyone stopped screaming except Owen. Noah slapped him. "Dude, we landed, calm down." "Oh... okay then." Everyone went to the elimination room and exited the plane. They found Chris waiting for them outside, wearing a helmet. "Everyone, welcome to the coolest, extraterrestrialest place in the world: area fifty two!", he said. Gwen raised an eyebrow. "Fifty two? I thought area fifty one was where all the cool alien stuff is." "That's just what they want you to think. Area fifty one is over there." Chris pointed at a large building in the distance. "Area fifty one is one of the most tightly controlled military bases in the world, which is why tonight's challenge is gonna be so much fun. I've called the colonel in charge, and he's letting us do a challenge there!"

Noah and Cody looked excited, but the other contestants looked worried. Chris kept talking. "Part one: break into area fifty one without getting shot, gassed, or otherwise killed. The place is guarded by elite soldiers. They aren't gonna kill you, but they aren't gonna let you in without a fight, either. Part two: each team must find a functioning alien artifact inside area fifty one's infamous black box warehouse. The place is full of broken junk. You need to find something weird that still works. Just be careful, the warehouse is loaded with booby traps. Part three: the winning team must bring their artifact back to area fifty two, intact. Last team back faces elimination. You have until dawn. Go!"

The three teams ran toward area fifty one. Noah climbed on Owen's shoulders as they approached. "Guys, I think I see it!", he said. Sierra and Owen kept walking until they all saw the warehouse in the distance. Noah scanned the horizon. "Hmm, no guards... I think it's safe to cross." As he was speaking, a rabbit hopped toward the building. It got hit by a laser after a few feet. "I'll be one the plane!", Owen said. Noah patted his shoulder. "Don't worry, I have a plan." He hopped down and picked up a rock. "Pick one up, throw it, and run in the opposite direction. That should distract the guards." Sierra and Owen picked up some rocks as well. They threw the rocks, which got shot with lasers, and ran away, except Owen. He just charged at the base, and then stepped on a mine. "Owen, are you okay!", Noah shouted. Owen landed on the other side of the fence by the warehouse. "Huh? Hey, how'd you get over there?", he asked. A tube came out of the ground and sucked Owen up. Noah facepalmed. "Oh, come on!" He and Sierra ran to the base.

Meanwhile, the other teams approached area fifty one from another direction. They walked into an oddly vegetated field. "Ooh, some kind of security vegetable patch! I'm so scared!", Heather said sarcastically. "Cody, get your clammy hands off of my leg!", she said. Cody raised his hands. "I'm not touching your leg." Heather looked down and saw a lizard. Everyone screamed and ran toward the base, with the lizard crawling after them. Suddenly, a rock on the ground exploded. "Since when do rocks do that?", Lindsay asked. "Everyone freeze. We are on a mine field", Gwen said. "Okay. Courtney, do you have a plan?" "Of course I do! Just step lightly and follow my feet exactly. Stand where I stand, and as long as I don't hit anything, we're all safe." Courtney started walking with her team and Team Victory following her. After a few minutes, they arrived safely. Team Victory cheered. "Thank you, Courtney!", Lindsay shouted. "That was like a nightmare come true, walking through there. I'm even in high heeled boots!" Courtney looked confused. "What?" "Oh never mind, let's just go!"

The girls and Cody crept into the warehouse. Gwen looked around and smiled. "Wicked, we beat Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot here!" "Think again, Gwen", Noah said. He and Sierra walked in behind the others. Gwen sighed. "Wait, where's Owen?", she asked. "We don't know. He got sucked into a tube, and now he's missing." Courtney smiled. "Perfect. You find Owen while we find some artifacts." Then, Chris turned on the intercom somehow. "Welcome to the black box warehouse! Finding a functioning alien artifact in here is gonna be like finding a needle in a haystack. A haystack with a black ops security system, which I set off when I hacked into this PA. Mah bad!" An alarm went off and the contestants scattered.

Heather and Courtney started looking through some crates. "Let's see, what do we have here? Broken junk, broken junk... great, more broken junk!", Heather said. She tossed a disk aside, and it started flying. Heather went wide-eyed. "Did that just happen?" "Heather, get over here!", Courtney said. "I found this portal, check it out!" Heather walked over to Courtney and the portal. She stuck her hand in, and got pulled halfway through the portal. Courtney pulled her out and they fell on a crate behind them, with Heather covered in blue gunk. "Ugh, gross!" "Well, it is working, right?" Heather smiled. "Good point. Go get Cody and Gwen!"

Elsewhere in the warehouse, Noah and Sierra were walking along and heard Owen screaming. Noah looked around. "Owen? Owen, where are you?", he asked. "Over here!", Owen yelled. Sierra and Noah followed the source of the sound until they found a large crate connected to a tube. "Don't worry, we'll get you out of there!", Noah said. He and Sierra pounded on the door. After a minute, a box fell down and landed on Noah. "Ooh, an artifact! Does it work?", Sierra asked. She picked it up and it began glowing. She dropped it, and two aliens came out. Sierra and Noah screamed, and Owen kept screaming as well. The aliens attacked Noah and Sierra, shocking them.

Bridgette and Lindsay looked through crates in the warehouse. After a while, Lindsay stopped and sat on a crate. "Having any luck?", she asked. "No, not yet", Bridgette said. Lindsay looked around and gasped. "Bridgette, Frisbee!" "Huh?" Bridgette turned and saw a metal disk flying at her. "It's a UFO!" She jumped and caught the disk as it flew overhead. "Perfect!" "Way to go, Bridgette! ...wait, where are you going?" The metal disk flew away, with Bridgette hanging from it. Lindsay ran after her.

Noah and Sierra kept struggling with the aliens. After a while, Noah crashed into a pad on the side of the crate Owen was in. A door on the crate opened and Owen walked out. Owen saw his teammates and gasped. "No, the aliens are after you too! Don't worry, I'll save you!" He tackled Noah and the alien that was attacking him, crushing them both. The alien turned into a pile of goop. "Okay, now to save Sierra!" "No, wait, that's a live alien! We can use it for the challenge!", Noah shouted. He ran and got a box. "Owen, get the alien in here!" Owen grabbed the alien and shoved it in the box. Noah put a lid on the box. "Okay, now let's get back to area fifty two."

The three teams ran, or in Bridgette's case, flew, back to area fifty two. Team Amazon reached Chris first, and showed him the portal. Chris smiled. "Wow, that's a good one! And, you win first place! Let's see who comes in second." Team Chris and Team Victory approached Chris. "Come on, guys, let's go!", Owen said. He took the box from Noah and ran toward Chris. He tripped and fell, landing on the box. Bridgette flew up to Chris safely. "And, Team Victory is safe as well!" Bridgette cheered, while Lindsay smirked at Sierra. "Adios, non-amigo!", she said.

At about sunrise, it was time for the elimination ceremony. Team Chris went to the elimination room where Chris was waiting. "Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot. Sadly, we all know who's going home tonight." Noah shrugged. "Sorry, Sierra. Nothing personal", he said. Sierra sighed. "I know... just take care of Cody for me, okay? Make sure he doesn't get hurt." Noah shrugged again. "Yeah, sure. See ya later." Sierra smiled. "Thanks. Good luck, team!" Sierra walked up to Chris, hugged him tightly, and took her backpack. "Well, goodbye everyone! I'll be blogging and rooting for you! See you at the finale!" "Just jump already!", Chris said. Sierra nodded and hopped out of the plane.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: Land Down Blunder

As the plane flew south to the next destination, Team Amazon was having a snack in first class. Cody munched on a cookie. "Mmm, the chocolate chips are still gooey! First class rocks!", he said. Gwen picked up a cookie and gave it to Courtney. "No doubt about that", she said. Heather walked up with a tray of cookies. "Anyone else want these?", she asked. Courtney smiled. "Maybe just one more..." Gwen giggled. "Courtney, are you forgetting last time?" "Oh, just let me have the stupid cookie."

_Confession Cam: Courtney_

"_Our team just keeps doing better and better. It's like we're all friends now, which is really weird considering Heather and Gwen are both here. But, I'm still focused on the game. I'm not gonna let a stupid friendship come between me and the prize I deserve."_

Meanwhile, Team Chris and Team Victory were hanging out in economy class. "I'm sooo glad you guys got rid of Sierra!", Lindsay said. Noah smiled. "No problem. She was really getting on your nerves, and Owen's my friend, so it's not like I could vote off anyone else. Still, you do kind of owe us now, don't you?" Lindsay looked confused, and Bridgette raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean, owe you?", she asked. "It's simple. We got rid of someone for you, now you help us get rid of someone. Team Amazon is competing against all of us, so I think we should team up and take them down." Lindsay shook her head. "No way. Cody's on their team, I don't want him going home if they lose." "And Heather's on their team too", Bridgette added. Noah shrugged. "Fine, suit yourselves. Just don't come crying to us if their numbers advantage leaves you in last place."

As the plane approached its destination, Chris turned on the intercom. "All contestants, please come to the common area to prep for landing." They did so. Chris arrived soon after. "Today's forcast: clear skies, with a temperature of, say, three hundred degrees Fahrenheit. And, today's landing is gonna be more of a non-landing fly by because the landing gear is stuck." Chris opened the door in the common area. "Jump, drop and roll! Come on, let's go, go, go!" The contestants jumped out of the plane, with Owen jumping last. "Oh, please don't let me land on my kiwis..." He jumped and landed. "Oww, me kiwis!"

Chris jumped down after them, and started talking to the contestants in a fake Australian accent. "G'day, mates! Welcome to Australia." Then, he dropped the accent. "I call today's challenge the marathon of death. Part one is an emu race all the way to the blue mountains. I'm not saying the trip will be dangerous, exactly, but with venomous snakes, killer scorpions, and the very real possibility of sunstroke, I hope you all have your affairs in order. Whoever reaches majestic Hanging Rock first will earn a distinct advantage in the second half of the challenge. And yes, I said emu." A group of interns walked up, herding eight emus. Lindsay looked confused. "Wow, those don't look like Gwen at all!" Bridgette facepalmed. "Lindsay, you're thinking of emos. And Gwen's a goth!" "Oh, and no saddles! After all, it's supposed to be a challenge. Now, go!", Chris shouted.

The interns let go of the emus and the contestants chased after them. Owen grabbed his emu and weighed it down long enough to climb on. Noah climbed a tree, then jumped and landed on his emu. He sighed turned the emu toward the mountains. "Alright, Owen, let's go!" Courtney threw Cody onto an emu, then climbed onto her own. "Come on, Amazons! We have a challenge to win!" Heather helped Bridgette get an emu, then got on her own. Gwen followed them. Lindsay got her emu last, and everyone headed for Hanging Rock.

Team Amazon went toward the rock, following Team Chris. Courtney was falling behind. "Courtney, pick up the pace!", Heather yelled. "It's not me, its the emu!", Courtney yelled back. "It has a brain the size of a walnut! Take charge!" "How am I supposed to make it do what I say if it's seriously that dumb?" Heather scowled. "Good point." "Just kick at its legs!", Gwen said. Courtney did so, and her emu started running faster, trying to escape her. Courtney smiled. "Thanks, Gwen!" "No problem."

The contestants kept riding until the sun set. Then, Team Amazon stopped for a few hours to sleep, while Team Chris and Team Victory kept going. The next day, they resumed riding, but were far behind the others. Meanwhile, Team Chris reached the top of Hanging Rock. "Hey Chris, we made it!", Noah said. Chris woke up from his nap. "Huh? Oh! Finally! I thought the scorpions might've gotten you." Bridgette and Heather arrived next. "And now we've got someone from each team. Perfect. Time for part two to begin!" Chris led the contestants at the cliff to a rock at the edge of the cliff, which had a bungee cord tied to it. "Okay teams, get ready to look death in the face and live to tell the tale. Or not. Anyway, teams must take turns bungee jumping off Hanging Rock and plummeting to the bottom, far, far, faaaaaar below, to try and grab one of Australia's finest sheep. Three of those sheep have Team Chris is Super Hot logos, three have Team Amazon logos, and three have Team Victory logos. First team to catch and shear one of their own sheep wins first class tickets to nextville, and the last team to do so heads to elimination town."

Chef walked up to the teams with some shearing supplies. "As the first team to arrive, Team Me gets an electric razor. The other teams get gardening shears. Time's a-wastin'! Team Chris is Astonishingly Hot, you're up!" Noah strapped himself to the bungee cord and jumped. He came back up holding a sheep. "Okay, let's shear this thing..." Owen held the sheep in place while Noah sheared it. After a few minutes, they found a Team Chris symbol. Noah went wide-eyed. "Holy crap..." Chris went wide-eyed as well. "Well, that was anticlimactic... Let's see which of the other teams finishes next!"

A few minutes later, Courtney, Cody and Gwen arrived, with Lindsay right behind them. "Okay, someone strap me in!", Heather yelled. Chef strapped her into the bungee cord and she jumped. She grabbed a sheep and came back up with it. "Courtney, help me shear!", she shouted. Courtney ran over and helped Heather while Bridgette bungee jumped. They finished shearing right as Bridgette got back to the rock. "Is there a logo?" "Yes!" Lindsay and Bridgette gasped. "Yes, we did it!" Team Amazon cheered. Chris pouted and stomped his feet. "Oh come on! What are the odds!" Noah smirked at Team Victory. "Guess you should've said yes to my offer." Bridgette and Lindsay gulped.

Everyone went back to the plane, and Chris, Chef, Team Victory, Cody and Heather went to the elimination room. Chris looked at the contestants, frowning. "It's been a tough day for many of you, but one of you is about to have the worst day of all. Since there's only two members of Team Victory left, we need to do another tiebreaker, and fast. My favorite cop show is on via satellite in ten. Chef?" Chef walked over to a tarp and picked it up, revealing two koalas in crates. "You girls each have to feed a hungry baby koala bear", Chris explained. "Koala babies eat two and a half pounds of eucalyptus leaves a day, and these guys haven't eaten since we got here so they're nice and peckish. And, you have to do this without your hands. First bowl empty wins!"

Bridgette and Lindsay picked up the bowls with their mouths and took them over to the koalas. Bridgette's koala ate the eucalyptus leaves, while Lindsay's just attacked her. "Come on, Lindsay, you can do this!", Cody said. Lindsay pushed the bowl closer to the koala and it started eating. But, Bridgette's koala finished its bowl of leaves. Chris smiled. "Congratulations, Bridgette, you win!" Bridgette and Heather cheered. Cody walked over to Lindsay and hugged her. "I'm sorry, Lindsay..." Lindsay hugged him. "It's okay. Just... do your best to win for us, okay?" Cody nodded. "I will. I think I can really win this time." Lindsay kissed him, then picked up a parachute and put it on. "Thanks, Cody. See you later... love you!" "I love you too." Lindsay waved goodbye to Cody and jumped out of the plane.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: Sailing, Walking, Viking

The plane flew north to its next destination, and Bridgette was stuck in the economy class with Owen and Noah. She sighed and looked toward them. "Are you sure it's too late for me to take you up on that offer?", she asked. Noah crossed his arms and nodded. "You had your chance, Bridgette, but you said no. Now you're all by yourself and probably going to lose. Sorry."

_Confession Cam: Bridgette_

"_There's no way I can lose now. I was a finalist last season! Heather's still here, so she's definitely gonna help me stay here after the merge. As long as I make it that far... Wait! I got it!"_

Bridgette came back to economy class and sat down on the bench across from Noah and Owen. She started wiggling around, then stood up. "Guys, I think I sat in some gum, can you check for me?" She turned around and bent over a bit. Noah blushed, and Bridgette smirked. "N-n-no, you look fine", Noah said. "Oh really? How fine, exactly?" "V-very fine..." Bridgette smiled and sat back down. "Well, alright then. Say, do you think you can do me another favor?" Noah shook his head. "I know where this is going, and the answer's no. You're on your own now, Bridgette."

Up in first class, Team Amazon was chilling out and having some cookies. Courtney ate one and smiled. "Another day, another delicious snack. This is great, isn't it, Gwen?" Gwen nodded. "Yep. Seeing the world and traveling first class is great. Now if only we could get rid of Chris and Chef..." The girls turned to Heather, who was sitting alone, looking out the window. "You okay, Heather?", Courtney asked. Heather nodded. "I'm just worried about Bridgette. She's stuck back there with those stupid boys. They'd better not try to make an alliance with her..."

Suddenly, the plane landed and started sliding. After it stopped, everyone got out onto a frozen lake. Chris got out last. "Velcome to Sveden!", he said. "Where are those jackets you ordered for us in the Yukon?", Heather asked. "Um, I worked pretty hard on that accent, it would've been nice if somebody had commented." "Chris, it's freezing out here", Noah said. "Sweden, hello? Ugh! Ingrates..." Chris walked away, grumbling to himself. Bridgette walked over to Noah and hugged him. "Think you can help me stay warm, Noah?", she asked. Noah blushed. "Um, s-sure, I guess..." Heather glared at them.

Chris came back, with Chef following him. "The jackets are here!", he announced. The contestants cheered. "In six to eight weeks." The contestants groaned. "Follow me for your first challenge!" Chris led the teams to three piles of wood and other junk. "Before you are three mysterious piles of Ibuilda tools and pieces. Your first challenge is to use the tools provided to turn your piles into... whatever they're supposed to be when properly assembled. Sadly, the assembly instructions were accidentally shredded when they were put through a shredder. Anywho, first team to correctly assemble their item will earn a big advantage in part two of the challenge. So, go!"

The teams went over to their piles and started working. Bridgette moved some pieces around while panting and groaning, then sat down, pretending to catch her breath. After a minute, she walked over to Team Chris. "Guys, can you help me move this stuff? It's too heavy for me, and you're so big and strong..." Noah raised an eyebrow. "Really?" "Well, Owen is at least." Noah shrugged. "Fine, I guess." Bridgette hugged Noah. "Thank you, thank you so much! Okay Owen, follow me!" Bridgette and Owen ran back to Bridgette's wood pile. Heather glared at them.

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_What is she doing! Is she flirting with them! How dare she! I'm her girlfriend, she should be asking ME to help!"_

Meanwhile, the rest of Team Amazon was talking. "We should lay out the pieces and try to figure out what we're building", Courtney said. Gwen nodded. "Good plan." The girls started laying the pieces out while Heather scowled at Bridgette and Cody drew a picture of Lindsay in the snow. At Bridgette's wood pile, Owen picked up a curved piece of wood and licked his lips. "Man, I wish I had some barbeque sauce, cause this looks like a whale rib!" Noah heard this and gasped. He started pulling some of the pieces in his pile around and hammering them together. A few minutes later, Courtney and Gwen finished arranging the pieces. Courtney looked at the arrangement and smiled. "I think I know what we're building."

Thirty minutes later, Team Amazon finished building their item. It was a large boat. Chris walked over to them, smiling. "Well, Team Amazon takes the lead! And, she's a beauty! Here's your reward for finishing first." Chris tossed a sack to Cody, who caught it and fell over. Courtney looked in the sack. "Hey, this is just a bunch of rocks! What's our real reward?", she asked. "That IS your real reward. Now, drag your ship to open water and go north until you find Chef to receive your next instructions." Team Amazon cheered and started pushing their boat. A few minutes later, Bridgette and Owen finished building theirs. Bridgette smiled. "Thanks, Owen. Now good luck winning this challenge!" She started pushing her boat. "Owen, get over here!", Noah yelled. Owen ran over. "Help me push this thing!" "Are you even done building it?", Owen asked. "We don't have time! Just push!" Owen started pushing. After a few seconds, he farted and laughed. Noah started coughing.

Team Amazon got to the water first and started sailing. "Great job, team!", Courtney said. "Yeah, we're so going to win!", Gwen said. Heather rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "What's with you?", Gwen asked. "Bridgette is getting really chummy with Team Chris. I don't care which one of them loses, just make sure we win, okay?" The team reached a dock, hopped out and found Chef. He walked up to them with a horned helmet. "Okay, this is for your team captain", he said. Courtney smiled. "That obviously means I get it." "Sure, whatever", Heather said. Gwen frowned. "Wow, you really are upset..." Courtney took the hat and put it on. Chef left, and Chris walked up to them. "Captain Courtney, huh? I seriously doubt this is going to end well. Anyway, it's time for your second reward!" Chef drove a crane down a dock and put a cannon on the Amazons' boat. "Huh. So, those rocks are flints to fire the cannon with?", Cody asked. "Bingo, dingoes! ...Crap, I should've said that back in Australia. But, yes, that's what they are. You also get some of Chef's Swedish meatballs as ammo. To win the challenge and travel first class, sail north to capture the red flag way over yonder on the buoy. Or, use your meatballs to sink the enemy ships. Good luck, captain Courtney."

Team Amazon sailed away, while Team Chris and Team Victory got their cannons and meatballs, but nothing to fire the cannons with. The teams sailed along toward the flag. Team Chris passed Team Victory. Cody turned and saw this. "Captain, incoming vessel!", he shouted. Courtney smirked. "And so the battle begins. Fire at will!" Heather and Gwen aimed and fired the cannon. A meatball shot out of it, hitting Team Chris's boat and making a hole in it. Noah went wide-eyed. "Oh no. this is not good." "What should we do?" "Patch the hole, duh!" Owen pulled his shirt off and started patching the hole with it. Meanwhile, Bridgette passed them in her boat. "Well, this is a lot harder than surfing, but I think I'm getting the hang of it", she said to herself. Heather heard her and glared at her. Courtney did the same. "Fire!" Heather aimed the cannon. "Take this, flirty girl!" She fired it and hit Bridgette's boat. Bridgette gasped. "Flirty girl? Wait, I can explain!" "Too late now, babe! You're going down!" Bridgette glared at her girlfriend. "Alright, if that's the way you want it..." She went to her cannon, used some sticks to fire it, and shot a meatball at Team Amazon. It hit them and made a large hole in their boat.

While the girls were fighting, Noah and Owen passed them. "Thanks for the help, Bridgette!", Noah yelled. Heather gasped. "Wait. You were helping THEM?" She growled and pushed Courtney away from the wheel. "I'm steering now! Courtney, man the rudder! Gwen, Cody, sink that traitor!" "No, it's not what you think!", Bridgette shouted. Cody and Gwen fired at Bridgette and hit her boat, which started leaking. Bridgette glared at them and returned fire. Her meatball hit Noah in the back of the head and he fell over. Owen gasped. "Noah! Noah, buddy, are you alright?" He picked up Noah and started shaking him. Meanwhile, Team Amazon kept sailing toward the flat. When they got close to it, Heather jumped out and snatched it off the buoy.

Chris drove up to the teams in a motor boat. "Well, we have our winner! First place goes to Team Amazon, with Team Chris coming second, and the sinking Team Victory in last place. See you at elimination, Bridgette!"

Once everyone got back on the plane, Bridgette and Heather went to the elimination room. Heather scowled at Bridgette. "Well I guess this is goodbye, traitor. I thought you would've learned not to do this to me..." Heather frowned. So did Bridgette. "Heather, it's not what you think." "I think you're lying! If it's not what I think, then what was it?" "I was trying to use Noah so I could get to the merge. Being a team of one isn't easy, I thought I could get some help..." "Why didn't you get MY team to help!" Bridgette started crying. "Because I knew you'd help me no matter what. Right?" Heather hugged Bridgette tightly. "Yes... yes, I would. I love you, Bridgette." "I love you too. Well... you can win for us this season, right?" Heather nodded. "Of course I can."

Chris walked into the elimination room. "I hate to break up your little love fest- okay, actually I'd love to- but it's time for someone to take the drop of shame. Or at least it would be... but, this is a reward challenge! Bridgette, you're safe. For now." Bridgette stopped crying. "What? Seriously?" "Yep. Didn't have an elimination planned, and you just happened to lose. There's no drama in a team elimination with one person on the team anyway. So, while Team Me enjoys some Swedish massages, you girls can just figure out how the heck you're gonna stay here next time. Go relax for a while."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Aftermath C

It's the Total Drama World Tour Aftermath Show! The cameras turned on to show the cheering audience, then zoomed in on the stage, which was dark except for two moving spotlights. "Attention, Total Drama Fanatics! Forget the Aftermath, this is Total Drama After-Mayhem!" Justin walked onstage and into the spotlight, with Beth following him. "I'm your co-host, Justin." "And I'm Beth!", Beth added. "And over there is the peanut gallery!" One of the spotlights moved over to the bleachers on the side of the stage, where the rejects and losers from earlier Aftermath episodes were sitting. The audience cheered. "And, good news! Our obnoxious, self centered roving reporter Blaineley is finally gone!", Justin announced. The audience cheered louder. "Yes, Blaineley is off on a tour of potential new franchise locations for the world tour, and is meeting with a Total Drama contest winner at each country she visits. Oddly enough, she's gonna be meeting one of her own fans!" "I didn't even know she HAD fans." "Neither did I, Beth." "Hey, I heard that!"

Suddenly, Blaineley walked onstage. The audience gasped, as did Beth and several members of the peanut gallery. Justin raised an eyebrow. "Wait, aren't you supposed to be in another county somewhere?" Blaineley nodded. "Yes, yes I am. But, surprise, I'm back, ready to co-host another Aftermath!" "But I thought you wanted out of your contract so you could-" "Bail on this dork train before my career is flushed down the bathroom confessional toilet of life? Turns out if the live show runs long, I don't get paid, and if I try to leave the show for any reason other than being fired or injured on set, I'll get sued." "That can be arranged", Justin said. "Nice. Almost makes me wish the producers HAD sent me on tour instead of an intern. Almost. Okay, on with the show!"

Blaineley got up to walk away, but Beth grabbed her arm. "Hang on a second! I just talked to our producers before the show, and they said you'd be sending a video feed live from Siberia today!" Blaineley smirked. "Well, I'm not there, but I can get out a video feed." She picked a remote up from the table, pressed a few buttons, and the TV above her turned on. It showed a blurry, glitchy video feed of a girl in the snow. "How's it going, intern?", Blaineley asked. The intern tried to talk, but her teeth were chattering too much. "Why is she there instead of you?", Justin asked. "I don't know! All I did was take her to the airport, slip my passport and ticket into her purse, and help her get past security to board the plane." "I don't get it, why were you so opposed to going to Siberia?", Justin asked. Right on cue, an avalanche appeared on screen and the video feed ended. "Oh."

"Alright, come on, I've got a show to host!", Blaineley said. Beth glared at her. "You are a MONSTER." Blaineley shrugged. "Meh. Been called worse." The audience booed and Beth stormed off. "So, for those of you just joining us, welcome to a fresh, new segment of Total Drama Aftermath! And speaking of stars, I'm your one and only host, Blaineley Stacey Andrews O'Halloran!" The audience didn't cheer. "You're too kind. Now, let's meet tonight's special guests. He's the first Total Drama contestant to quit, re-join the game and then lose, Duncan!" Duncan walked onstage, scowling, while the audience cheered. "Next, she's the biggest, and quite possibly the tallest, Total Drama super-fan in the world, Sierra!" Sierra ran onstage, squealing and giggling, while the audience cheered. She turned and waved at them. "Hello, everyone! It's great to be here! I love you all!", she shouted. "And our final loser got on board with twice her weight in lip gloss, and left the competition with a big new grudge. Everyone's favorite dumb blonde, Lindsay!" Lindsay walked onstage, smiling and blowing kisses at the cameras. Then she saw Sierra and glared at her.

Blaineley sat down on the couch in the middle of the stage and picked up the remote again. "Before we start asking questions, here's a segment of That's Gonna Leave a Mark!" She turned on the TV and it showed several clips from the show, including Noah being attacked by a pack of corgis, Owen being shot out of a large tube during the area fifty two challenge, an emu trying to eat Noah, and Lindsay fighting with Sierra. The audience laughed and the clips stopped rolling. "It's time for me to announce our big surprise", Blaineley said. "Tonight, Total Drama Aftermath is holding the very first ever Total Drama Second Chance Challenge!" The peanut gallery cheered. "That's right! Our motley collection of Total Drama losers just got totally lucky, cause they're about to compete for a second shot at that million dollar prize! What do you say, Duncan? You ready to get back on the plane?" Duncan smirked. "Sounds good to me."

Two interns walked onstage, holding some odd guns. "Five of you rejects are about to catch lightning in a bottle, or in this case, peanuts in a can. Fire in the hole!" The interns fired the guns and cans of peanuts shot out of them. The peanut gallery started fighting over them. Then, the interns fired a dozen other cans of peanuts. "Most of your cans contain salty snacks of continued loserdom, but five contain something very special. So, crack 'em open if you've got 'em!" Leshawna opened hers and a golden Chris head on a spring popped out. "A Chris in the box? That's an insult to boxes!" "Leshawna, you're the first to get a second chance at the million!" Lindsay opened hers and another Chris head popped out. She squealed. "Lindsay is in it to win it!", Blaineley announced. Sierra and Harold opened theirs and Chris heads popped out. "Okay, one more to go! Who's got it?" Tyler opened his can and a Chris head hit him in the eye. "Well, there we go! Come on over here, everyone."

The five lucky losers walked over to Blaineley. So did Beth. "Hey, where'd you run off to?", Justin asked. "I went to dig up some info on Blaineley. She may not be reporting anything, but I sure am." Blaineley looked worried, and Beth grinned. "First off, Blaineley keeps her makeup crew in chains so they can't escape during the show. She once bought two pairs of the same pants, one in a larger size, so when she wore that pair second, it looked like she lost weight. She has black hair between her toes. And, on top of that, her real name isn't even Blaineley! It's Mildred!" Blaineley looked very embarrassed. "You're a little liar, forcing your way back to fame. You put that poor intern at risk by sending her to Siberia!" Blaineley raised an eyebrow. "Wait, you care about that part?" "Yes!" "I don't", Justin said. Beth glared at him.

Blaineley sighed, then smiled. "Well, anyway, it's time for the second chance challenge! One of our five lucky contestants is about to win a ticket back into the game for another shot at the million. So, what is the challenge? I call it Total Drama: the Board Game!" Harold frowned. "Seriously? A game of luck, not skill? What kind of lame challenge is this? You might as well just hold a lottery." "Oh, but this is no ordinary board games. The failures- that's you guys- take turns rolling the dice, and hop your way along the game board. But, role carefully, because some of the squares are booby trapped! Each square represents either a contestant still in the game or one of the last five places the Total Drama plane dumped them. Every square has a mini challenge you'll have to complete before you can roll again. Fail, and you're out of the running. Get past the final square and you'll have to face a guard from England in a skill testing quiz. First to answer the question correctly wins! You guys ready to play?"

Beth ran over to the game board. "Okay, I just have one thing to say before you get started", she said. "Roll the clips!" Blaineley looked confused. "What's going on?" "Seems like someone didn't know the green room cameras are on all day, every day." Blaineley went wide-eyed. "What? No! NO!" "Actually, yes. So, to prove that you should get the heck off the show, here's some of Blaineley's Best Moments!" The TV turned on and showed several clips of Blaineley, eating pizza that fell on the floor, using power tools to trim her toenails, and burping and farting simultaneously. The clips ended and Blaineley looked mortified. "It's... amazing what editors can do with special effects and body doubles", she said. The audience laughed. Blaineley scowled, picked up a large die and gave it to Lindsay. "Hurry! We're running late because of those fake clips." "Why do you care?", Justin asked. Blaineley smiled nervously. "Oh, no reason! Nope, none." "Actually, it's because she doesn't get paid if we run late", Beth said. "Which gives me a great idea..." Blaineley rolled her eyes. "Whatever. You're up, Lindsay."

Lindsay walked up to the game board and smiled. "Come on, lucky number seven!" She tossed the die and walked four spaces. "Well, you get the Owen challenge", Justin said. "You have to eat two peppers and then chase them with milk while watching clips from the Top Ten Hilarious Wipeouts. And if you can avoid howling, so hard you shoot a nose shake out your nose, then you are-" "Still in the game! Go!" Blaineley stuffed some peppers into Lindsay's mouth and poured milk on her head while Justin played the clips. "Take your time, Lindsay", Beth said. Blaineley tapped her foot for a few seconds, angrily. "Times up! Way to go Lindsay!", she said. "Okay Tyler, you're up!" Tyler picked up the die and rolled it, then walked five spaces. The game board panel below him fell open, and Tyler fell down through the hole. "Ooh, hello booby trap, goodbye Tyler. One less player means we can pick up the pace. Next up, Harold!", Blaineley announced.

Harold rolled the die and walked two spaces. "Area fifty one challenge!" Two strips of metal fell down from the ceiling to the panel. "Listen up, Harold you have to dodge this array of lasers without breaking contact with the floor." Harold nodded. "With my mad skills, this'll be a piece of cake." The lasers started firing and Harold managed to dodge them all for about a minute, but then got zapped in the rear by one. "Oww! Gosh, that hurts!" Blaineley smiled. "Perfect! Okay Leshawna, your roll." Leshawna rolled the die and moved three spaces. "Australia? Oh boy. Good luck with this one", Justin said. "Your challenge is to spar for a full round with a boxing kangaroo!" Justin led Leshawna to a nearby boxing ring that appeared out of nowhere and gave her a pair of gloves. Leshawna climbed into the ring and smiled at Harold. "This one's for you, ginger biscuit!" The kangaroo punched her once and she fell to the ground. Harold gasped. "Leshawna, my brawling beauty! Don't worry, I will avenge you!" Harold jumped into the ring, took Leshawna's gloves and ran at the kangaroo. "Let's do this!", he shouted. In response, the kangaroo punched him.

"Okay, looks like it's down to Lindsay and Sierra", Justin said. Sierra squealed, picked up the die and rolled it, then walked six spaces. "And you get the Heather challenge!", Blaineley said. "Your challenge is to create a haiku, whatever that is." "It's a three line Japanese poem with seventeen syllables!", Beth said. "And since this is the Heather square, your haiku has to highlight one of Heather's positive attributes. Just take your time, Sierra." "In ten seconds or less starting now!", Blaineley said. "I got it! Heather is so nice, she's sweeter than bubble gum, but too short tempered." Beth rolled her eyes. "Well, at least the third line is true."

Blaineley tossed the die over to Lindsay. "Let's go, peeps, quick like bunnies! Lindsay, you're up!", she said. Lindsay rolled the die and walked five spaces. "The Sweden square!" Justin brought her a tray of meatballs. "All you have to do is balance these Swedish meatballs on your nose for three-" Lindsay was already balancing them while barking like a seal. She smirked at Sierra. "Ha! Top that, loser!", she shouted. "Congrats, you're still in the game!", Beth said. "Sierra's turn, go go go!", Blaineley said. Sierra picked up the die, rolled it and walked another six spaces. "Another six? Wow, you're at the last square!" Sierra squealed and started hyperventilating. Blaineley pushed her to the final square. "Okay, use this sack and capture the intern dressed like Jack the Ripper! Drag him over to the British guard to get your final question. Forty five seconds go!" The intern ran away, with Sierra running after him. They both crashed into something offstage, but a few seconds later, Sierra ran onstage, carrying the intern in the sack.

"Okay, I did it! Now what's the question? If it's Total Drama related I'm totally gonna know the answer, because I know-" "Shut up! We have a show to finish!", Blaineley said. The guard looked around for the question, then pulled it out of his hat. He cleared his throat to read the question, but Blaineley snatched it from him. "What's the name of Duncan's German punk band?", she asked. Sierra scratched her chin. "Hmm, now what did Gwen say it was again?" "Come on, just say Der Schnitzel Kickers! Der Schnitzel Kickers is the answer!", Blaineley shouted. A bell ringed and a bunch of balloons and confetti fell from the ceiling. Blaineley looked confused, and Beth smirked. "Well, looks like you win, Blaineley! First person to answer the skill testing question gets a one way ticket back to the Total Drama plane, remember?" Blaineley glared at her. "Me? Out there, with those, those losers? Forget it! No one can make me go! No one!" A trio of armed interns walked onstage. Blaineley ran away, and they chased after her. Justin shrugged. "Well, that was one heck of a technicality. But, there we go! Our show's over for today. Next time, we'll be coming at you live from our top secret finale location, to give you a sneak peek at all the carnage in store for the finalists! So, be sure to stay tuned for the next episode of Total Drama World Tour, and the Aftermath show!"


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19: Loving in Falls

One morning, Owen awoke and saw that he and the other six contestants were falling out of a plane. He screamed "Come on, wake up, guys!", and they did so. The others started screaming as well. Chris yelled at them from the plane. "Hey kids, you better get into your paddle boats!" The teens looked around and saw two swan shaped boats falling with them. They hopped into the boats and landed in a river. Owen looked around and started screaming again. "Whoa, wuh-wuh-water!" "Yes, Owen, we know we're in the water", Courtney told him. Noah looked around and gasped. "Waterfall! Quick, paddle!" Everyone started paddling the boats but they were swept back by the current, and Owen kept screaming. Courtney started praying. "If you let us live, I'll tutor any brain-dead slacker who requires it, even Duncan!" Cody started praying as well. "If you let us live, I'll tell Duncan she said that!" Noah snapped his fingers and smiled. "Owen! If you save us, I'll buy you a sixteen ounce steak!", he said. Owen smiled and licked his lips. "Yes, sir!" he started paddling his boat like crazy and got it to shore. Then, he jumped into the river, got on the other boat and saved it as well.

_Confession Cam: Noah_

"_Believe it or not, I've learned a lot from Owen. Still, the most important thing I've learned is that he'll do anything for food."_

A few minutes later, Chris arrived. "So, Niagara Falls is pretty awesome, right?", he asked the contestants. They all glared at him. "It almost killed us!", Heather said. Chris smiled. "Like I said. Awesome. The Falls are the jewel in Canada's crown, and one of the top ten natural wonders of the world. It's also known for its fabulous casino, which is where we'll be heading for the first part of the challenge." Noah smiled. "Easy money? Sounds perfect."

Soon, everyone arrived at an empty floor in the casino. "No gambling? Figures", Noah said. "Since you're all under eighteen, we had to move the challenge from the gambling floor to the far less exciting casino concert hall", Chris explained. "Ooh, I wonder if anyone is performing!", Owen exclaimed. Chris smiled. "You're in luck, Owen my man. Last time on the Aftermath show, they had a Second Chance Challenge where one of the losers could score a spot back in the game, and we're about to enjoy a little number from the winner." Cody smiled. "Is it Lindsay? Please tell me it's Lindsay! Or at least not Sierra!" "She's two hundred pounds of sassy in a ninety pound package, and she's wearing twelve pounds of mascara! Iiiiiiit's Blaineley!" Noah raised an eyebrow. "What?" Heather raised one as well. "Who?" The concert hall went dark, except for a spotlight onstage, and Blaineley walked onto it, singing about herself.

_Blaineriffic is my name, dishing dirt is my game, invading your TV with my blainerishious frame!_

_Ba-blaineriffic, so so so terrific! I'm fa-fa-famous, famous!_

And so on and so on. "Who's that girl again?", Cody asked. Blaineley glared at him. "Who am I? Who am I! Who are YOU! I'm the host of the puppy bachelor! I was nominated for a Gemmie award! I interviewed YOU for Celebrity Manhunt! I'm blaineriffic!" She sighed and turned to Chris. "So which one of these lame teams am I on, anyway?", she asked. "You're on your own, because as of right now, there are no more teams!", he announced. Bridgette and Heather cheered and hugged each other. Owen patted Noah's shoulder. "It's okay, buddy, we can still be a team!"

Chef walked onstage in a dress, pushing a giant slot machine. "Since we're in the honeymoon capital of the world, I thought it'd be fun to drop some arranged marriages on you!", Chris said. "Slots-o-fun for me, not so fun for you. Each girl pulls the lever to win a husband she'll team up with for today's challenge. Cha-ching! Now, if you boys would get onstage? And Bridgette, you come up here too." The guys and girl got onstage, and Chef shoved them into the slot machine, along with a bear. "Um, what's the bear for?", Heather asked. "Casinos are all about excitement, and what's more exciting than a big angry bear? Also, we needed a 'bad' prize."

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_If I were in charge, I'd let the girls PICK their husbands. That way I'd be with Bridgette for sure, and there would be no risk of forced interspecies marriage."_

"Okay, Gwen, you're up first", Chris said. Gwen walked up to the slot machine and pulled the lever. A few seconds later, Bridgette fell out of the slot. Heather gasped and Gwen shrugged. "Sorry, Heather. Not my fault." Heather glared at Chris. "Trust me, I know it's not." Chris turned away from Heather so he couldn't see her. "Blaineley, you're next." Blaineley walked up to the lever and pulled it. Noah fell out of the slot, covered in claw marks. "Stupid slot machine... it's all fun and games until someone gets mauled by a bear." Blaineley smiled. "Well, I could've done worse. Marrying the audience favorite should be good for my publicity." Noah raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean, audience favorite?" "The fans can't get enough of your sense of humor. You should try showing it more often." Noah rolled his eyes. "Meh, whatever." "Okay, we need something to cover up those gashes... Makeup crew, get over here!", Blaineley said. No one came onstage. "What gives?" Chris smirked. "Sorry, Blaineley. The makeup crew only works for me."

Courtney walked up to the lever and pulled it next. After some struggling, Owen climbed out of the slot. "Oh, thank goodness! It was so freaking cramped in there!" Courtney sighed. "Just my luck. I think I would've preferred the bear, at least it could win a physical challenge." Heather went up to the lever last. She pulled it, and Cody fell out of the slot. Chris frowned. "Darn it, I was hoping SOMEONE would get the bear! Oh well. On to the next challenge!"

Chris lead the contestants to an obstacle course. The guys and Bridgette got up on some columns, holding megaphones, while the girls were blindfolded. "Because a good marriage is based on trust, and being able to argue louder than your spouse, each groom must use a megaphone to guide their blinded bride safely to her gown. Only couples with a dress can continue. You have five minutes. Go!" "Owen, which way do I go first?", Courtney asked. "That way!", he said. "WHAT way!" "Oh! Uh, forward!" Courtney nodded and started walking. Meanwhile, Noah was directing Blaineley. "Walk three paces head, and then go left." Blaineley did so and fell in a pool of mud. Noah and Owen laughed. "Oh, sorry, I meant right!"

Cody was yelling to Heather. "Okay, go right!" Heather did so. "Okay, now turn left and keep walking!" Heather did so, and crashed into a dress. "Ooh, sorry about that!" Heather groaned and removed her blindfold. "Well, at least we won." Meanwhile, Bridgette was directing Gwen. "Okay, just keep going straight", she said. Gwen nodded and kept walking. "Hey, is there a black dress?", Gwen asked. "No, sorry..." "Eh, figures. Hey, Heather! I bet you wish it was gonna be Bridgette in the dress, huh?" Heather and Bridgette both blushed.

Noah kept directing Blaineley. "Okay, now go left." Blaineley turned right. "No, I said left!" "Yeah, I'm not falling for that again!" Blaineley kept walking and ran into a giant cake. She screamed. "Blaineley, calm down. It's just cake." "Just cake? I just gained five pounds by touching it!" "That's not even possible." Blaineley wiped some of the cake off her face, then licked her fingers. "Mmm, sugar! It's been years! It's like vanilla flavored paradise! With a hint of lemon." Blaineley started wolfing down chunks of cake. After she ate her way through it, she kept walking and ran into a dress. "Bingo!" Within another minute, Courtney and Gwen reached their dresses as well. "Okay, you're all still in the game. On to the next challenge!", Chris said.

The couples followed Chris outside to the falls, and up to a wooden platform with four tightropes at one end. "I call this one, til death do you part", Chris said. Blaineley looked down and saw the bottom of the falls far below. "Okay, so we don't get a makeup crew. But you have to have stunt doubles sometimes, right? ...Right?" Chris shook his head. "We escaped going over Niagara Falls just so you could make us walk over it on a tightrope?", Cody asked. "Even better! Each groom has to carry their bride across the gorge, and then you have to successfully get past customs, AKA Chef. First pair to do so wins invincibility and a pimped out wedding reception in first class. Since Cody and Heather won the last challenge, they get a head start." Heather jumped into Cody's arms, and he fell over. He got back up and slowly walked across his tightrope. Ten seconds later, everyone else followed them on their own ropes.

Everyone walked along slowly, with Noah going slower than the others. Blaineley glared at him. "Come on, I don't even weigh a hundred pounds!", she said. Noah glared back at her. "Oh yeah? Neither do I! Do I look like a body builder to you?" Meanwhile, Owen wobbled back and forth on his tightrope. Courtney glared at him. "If you drop me, I'm grabbing your ankle on my way down." Owen gulped and started walking faster.

Heather and Cody reached Chef and started answering the questions. Owen started walking faster, but fell off the tightrope and down the falls. Noah and Blaineley, and Bridgette and Gwen, kept coming though. Heather and Cody finished answering the last question before they arrived. Chris walked to the platform, applauding. "Congrats, guys, you'll be flying in first class together and you've both won invincibility. As soon as we fish Courtney and Owen out of the water, we can go vote someone off for the elimination."

A while later, everyone was in the elimination room. "Heather and Cody have invincibility, but everyone else is fair game", Chris said. "You've cast your votes, so let's see who didn't get so lucky at the casino today. We have one vote for Noah, two votes for Blaineley, two votes for Bridgette, and three votes for... Gwen." Gwen and Courtney looked shocked. "Are you serious?", Gwen asked. Chris nodded and Gwen sighed. Courtney got up and hugged her. "Guess this won't be my season after all... Oh well. Good luck, Courtney. Be sure to beat Heather for me." Courtney nodded. "Of course." Gwen got up, took a parachute from Chris, put it on and walked out of the plane.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20: Great Challenge of China

As the plane left Niagara Falls, Cody and Heather entered first class. Cody looked around and smiled. "Hey, there's a wedding cake!" He ran over to it and scooped off some of the frosting, then ate it. "Can't you at least cut yourself a slice first?", Heather asked. Cody laughed. "Sorry, just excited. I like sweet stuff." Heather smirked. "You know what else would be sweet? Going to the final three." Cody scowled at her. "After booting me off because of your grudges two seasons in a row, you really thought asking me to join an alliance would work?" Heather frowned. "It was worth a try."

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_My alliance has never been weaker than it has been this season. In season one I had four minions, and one of them got to the final three with me. Last season I had two, and we both made it to the finals. This time, I only have Bridgette. I need to find someone else to join us, and fast."_

Suddenly, Blaineley turned on the intercom. "Attention, fellow passengers! Feeling alone in the game? Looking for an ally you can call your very own? Consider joining forces with me. You won't regret it. This promise is not legally binding, offer may be withdrawn anytime." Heather smiled and left first class. She found Blaineley on her way to the economy class. "I heard your little announcement", she said. Blaineley smirked. "Let me guess, you want me to join you and Bridgette?" "Yes. Stick with me and we can get to the final three together." "Deal." Blaineley and Heather shook hands.

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_Well, that was convenient."_

A few hours later, the plane reached its destination. Everyone got out and stood in front of the Great Wall of China. "Ni hao! Welcome to China, a vast country rich in history, culture, innovation and delicious sauces", Chris said. "Our first challenge is torn from the pages of her rich history. In eight million BC, king Dum Sum led a battalion of donkey warriors down this very great wall." "Eight million GC was the Miocene era", Courtney said. Chris proceded to ignore her. "We've provided a selection of vehicles to race to our mystery destination. They're first come, first served. Ready, set-" Chris got a phone call. "I'd better get this... McLean here. Yeah, I'm trying to do the show here." "Do we go, or what?", Heather asked. "Mhm, yep", Chris said into the phone. "Is that a yes?", Owen asked. Chris turned to the contestants and said "Yeah, can we do this later?" "So we go now?", Blaineley asked. Chris turned back to the phone. "Okay, fine!" The contestants ran toward the wall. "Hey, who said you could go!", Chris shouted.

The contestants ran across the wall, toward the methods of transportation. "Bridgette, let's get ready to rock the rickshaw! It is so ours!", Heather said. "Hey, what about me, alliance buddy?", Blaineley asked. Heather sighed. "Fine, we can all use it, just hurry!" The girls ran over to it and Blaineley hopped in. "I'm the lightest, so you guys pull", she said. Bridgette glared at her. Meanwhile, Noah got on a bike, Owen grabbed a skateboard, Cody climbed onto a donkey and Courtney got on a tricycle. The teens raced along the top of the wall. On the way, Heather stepped on something and it blew up, sending her flying over the wall. "Heather!" Blaineley groaned. "We aren't gonna stop and help her, are we, Bridgette?", she asked. Bridgette glared at her. "Okay, fine!" About ten minutes later, they found her covered in some smelly liquid. Bridgette covered her nose and gagged. "Geez, what happened?", she asked. "I fell into a tea shop", Heather replied. Bridgette hugged her with one arm. "Aww, it's okay. Blaineley and I will pull you the rest of the way."

Further back, Owen was riding the skateboard, and after a while it snapped in half. "Oh, come on!" Noah turned his bike around and rode back to him. "What happened?" "The board wasn't sturdy enough for me. Stupid cheap knockoff..." Noah sighed. "Okay. You take the bike, I'll just walk." Owen smiled. "Really?", he asked. "Sure, just let me get OFF the bike first."

A while later, Courtney and Noah both arrived at the finish line. "Ha! I win!", Courtney cheered. "Actually we tied", Noah said. Courtney glared at him. "No way, Noah. Chris, get the photographic evidence." Chris shook his head. "Sorry, there's no photo. What show do you think you're on? There's no prize for first place anyway", he said. Courtney gasped. "What!" "If you had waited for me to say the rules, you would've known that anybody who makes it over the line before the gong rings gets to join me for a very special lunch, AKA the next part of the challenge." While they were talking, Bridgette, Blaineley and Cody all crossed the line. Cody's donkey ran into the gong and it rang as Heather crossed the line and Owen rode up to it on his bike. "Well, since Owen didn't quite make it before the gong rang, I guess he's the only one out. The rest of you, follow me."

The contestants followed Chris to a restaurant and sat down at a fancy table. "To win today, you'll have to eat more than anyone else at this totally awesome Chinese restaurant", Chris explained. "Who doesn't love wontons?", Cody asked. "Last new year's, I ate about a thousand of-" "Except that this isn't your average Chinese restaurant. You'll be enjoying street food delicacies. Deep fried grasshopper, kung pow larvae..." Bridgette groaned. "Oh come on, another gross eating challenge!" Chris got another phone call and answered it. "Yo, it's McLean. Yeah, I'm trying to make a show here? ...Okay, fine. Got it." Chris put the phone down. "Okay, you have to eat each bowl of food, opening your mouth to prove it went down. If you're last to finish or you puke, go sit with Owen on the loser bench."

Chef walked up to the table and tossed a bowl of soup to everyone. Cody used some chopsticks to pick something out of the soup. "What is it?", he asked. "It's donkey meat! Local delicacy." Everyone groaned except Cody, who stood up. "Ace, where are you!" Everyone else started eating, but Cody wouldn't. "I can't eat Ace, no way!" Everyone else finished the food. "Cody, you're out!", Chris said. Cody sighed and walked to sit by Owen. Next, Chef gave everyone else a bowl of live larvae. "Live meal worms! Local delicacy!" Everyone started eating. Courtney, Blaineley, Noah and Bridgette finished. "Heather, you're out! Loser bench!", Chris said. Heather responded by barfing onto his face. While Chris went to wash up, Chef gave everyone else their next meal: starfish on a skewer. Everyone started eating, and one by one they finished... except Blaineley, who threw up. "Blaineley, loser bench!", Chris said. Blaineley glared at him. "I am NOT a loser. And you'd better edit that vomit out of the final cut, Chris!"

Chris got another phone call and answered it. "Listen, man, I'm in the middle of a challenge! ...Yeah, okay, budget, blah blah blah, what am I supposed to do? ...Really? Wow. Okay then, if you say so..." Chris put the phone down. "Okay, one more round. You have to eat... I don't even know what it is, just eat it. First one done wins, gains invincibility tonight, and gets to bring the person of their choice up to first class with them. So, get eating." Chef put some bowls of something nasty in front of Noah, Courtney and Bridgette and they started eating. After a few bites, Noah threw up. The girls kept eating, and Courtney used some chopsticks to shovel the rest of her food down her throat. "Done! I win! In your face, Bridgette!", she said. Bridgette groaned. "Actually..." She turned and spewed vomit all over Courtney. "In yours." Courtney screamed and ran away.

Everyone went to first class and Chris counted the votes. "Cody, Blaineley, Cody, Blaineley, Heather, Cody, Blaineley. Well, alright then." Chris got another call, but chucked his phone away. "The producers are breathing down my neck and I'm getting a lot of flack on this budget stuff. So, I was thinking, why don't you BOTH take the jump?" Cody and Blaineley gasped. "Wait, how is getting rid of us both gonna help you save money?", Cody asked. "We can finish the season sooner, duh! Now get going!" Chef handed both of them a parachute and led them to the door. Blaineley stopped and turned around. "Not so fast, I have a few things to say first! Ezekiel? He's still hiding in the cargo bay! Owen and Noah? People keep saying you're gay, just so you know. Heather, Courtney? You're both annoying as hell! And Chris? The producers wanted ME to host the show! You only got the job because I said no and-" Chris ran up and shoved Blaineley out of the plane. Cody jumped soon after.

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_Awkward doesn't even begin to describe this."_


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21: Hunting Trip

While the plane flew to its next destination, the contestants were relaxing in the economy class, except for Courtney. Heather was hugging Bridgette, smiling. "This is going great. All we have to do now is get rid of Courtney, and one of us can win for sure!", she said. Bridgette nodded. "Totally. Sorry Noah, Owen, but you guys aren't gonna be much of a threat." Noah crossed his arms. "I wouldn't be so sure of that. You're dealing with a genius as long as I'm here, and I'm not alone." Owen patted Noah's shoulder. "Got that right, buddy!"

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_I guess after Courtney leaves, it's me and Bridgette against the guys. No big deal. We're both former finalists, so there's no way we can lose. I just hope Courtney won't be too much trouble..."_

A few hours later, the plane landed and the contestants got out of it. Chris walked up to them, dressed in an odd robe, carrying a spear, and not wearing his wig. The teens laughed. "Nice dress!", Noah said. "It's traditional Masai warrior garb. And, it came with this!" Chris smirked and hurled his spear at Noah, who barely dodged it. "Trust me, that's the least dangerous thing that'll happen to you today. Welcome to beautiful Tanzania, home of the Serengeti plains and over seventy different kinds of animals that can kill you." Noah rolled his eyes. "Oh, let me guess, this is the 'fun' challenge! I'm ecstatic." "Good guess, Noah. Follow me."

The contestants followed him to a dirt clearing on the plain, where Chef was standing by a box of fruit and some wooden posts with gourds on them. "Part one combines two of Africa's most popular sports: soccer and cricket. I call it soc-it-to-me!", Chris said. "Each player must run one at a time from the starting line to the pile of African plums, grab as many as you can carry, and run back. You'll be doing all of this while your fellow competitors pummel you with soccer balls. Next, take the plums you brought back and whack 'em with the cricket bat to smash those gourds open, like this." Chris picked up a cricket bat and a plum to demonstrate. He hit the plum, and it hit Chef in the groin. "Whoever cracks their gourd open first wins a reward that will be muoy helpful in the next challenge. Now, let the challenge begin!"

One by one the contestants got their plums and lined up to hit the gourds. Noah failed to hit anything, Owen hit Chef by mistake, Bridgette and Courtney hit their gourds but failed to break them, and Heather hit hers, splitting it in half. "And Heather wins the first part of the challenge!", Chris announced. "The rest of you have ten seconds to split your gourds. And trust me, you want what's inside." Noah failed to hit anything, again. Owen hit his gourd but couldn't break it. Bridgette broke hers, and Courtney hit Chef in the groin. "Broken, but not a gourd! Sorry, Courtney!", Chris said. "That'll make it that much harder for you to deal with this!" Chris pointed at a large crate an intern was carrying over. Something inside the crate was snarling, yelling and shaking it, trying to break free. "Part two of our challenge is a genuine African safari. And the prey?" Chris tapped the box, and its contents tried to break free again. "You'll be hunting the most dangerous game..."

The intern opened the crate, and the contestants stared in disbelief at the contents. "Ezekiel?" Ezekiel took a deep breath and sighed. "Thanks for finally letting me out! You didn't put enough air holes in there, eh! I was getting worried!" Noah shrugged. "Huh. I guess Blaineley was right." "You can't get rid of me, eh! I'm never givin' up!", Ezekiel shouted. Chris smirked. "And therein lies the challenge. Whoever snags Zeke first wins invincibility, and first class seats to our next destination-" "With the player of their choice, blah blah blah, where's my reward?", Heather asked. "In a second! Go to your gourds and check inside, girls. They contain what you'll use to hunt with." Heather and Bridgette went to the gourds and they each pulled out a slingshot and a pouch. "What the heck are these for?", Bridgette asked. "Tranquilizer balls. Sling 'em with enough velocity, and they burst on contact, numbing the area and releasing a hearty dose of sleepytime goodness. Watch as this intern demonstrates." Chris picked up a slingshot and shot a red ball at an intern, who fell over unconscious. "See? It's like paintball, only with naps!"

Chef walked up to Ezekiel and gave him an odd necklace. Zeke smiled. "Cool, some fly new bling!" "Actually, it's a mini cam", Chris said. "It'll record what goes on around you. We can use it for the show, or maybe sell the extra footage to a nature channel. Now get running, you only get a five minute head start!" Ezekiel nodded and ran away. Chris walked up to the contestants. "Okay, Heather, since you won the first challenge, you get six tranq balls. Bridgette, since you cracked your gourd open, you get three. The rest of you get one ball each." "No slingshot?", Noah asked. "Nope! Since you totally bombed the first challenge, you just have to throw your tranq balls, which will be hilariously unsuccessful." Courtney scowled at Chris. "This is beyond unfair, you know." Chris nodded.

Five minutes later, the contestants split up to search for Ezekiel. Bridgette and Heather went north, Courtney went west, and Owen and Noah went east. "Okay, so how are we gonna hurl the tranq balls hard enough?", Owen asked. "Beats me. Neither of us are very athletic", Noah said. "But, I have an idea. Do you have a rubber band or something elastic?", Noah asked. "I have my underwear." Noah sighed. "That'll have to do. Go take 'em off behind a bush or something."

After half an hour of searching, Heather and Bridgette walked by a bush and heard something rustling in it. "You hear that? I think it's Ezekiel!", Heather whispered. Bridgette smiled. "Let's find out." The girls crept toward the bush. Heather reached for a tranq ball and readied her slingshot. As they approached, a lion jumped out of the bush and roared at the girls. Heather screamed, and Bridgette covered her mouth. "Hush!" Bridgette took a step back, and so did Heather. "Good kitty... nice kitty..." The lion roared at them again. "Okay, shoot it!" Heather launched a tranq ball at the lion, hitting it in the face. It fell over on the ground, and the girls sighed with relief.

Elsewhere, Courtney was walking along, when suddenly she looked down and saw she was waist deep in quicksand. She facepalmed and grumbled to herself. "Oh come on... well, at least I know how to deal with this. Just wait it out, and I'll float back to the surface..." An hour later, Courtney was able to crawl out of the sand.

Elsewhere, Owen and Noah stopped to get a drink at a watering hole. "Ohhh, so thirsty..." "Leave some for the animals, Owen", Noah said. Then, he turned and saw a nearby bush rustling. "Owen, stop! Check that bush." Owen walked toward the bush, and Ezekiel ran out of it. "Hurry, shoot him!", Noah shouted. Owen launched his tranq ball at Ezekiel, but missed. He hit a nearby camera man instead. Noah sighed. "So close..." Owen walked back to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, buddy! We still have one more chance, we can totally do this."

A while later, Courtney heard something rustling in the grass. So did Bridgette and Heather. They gasped and charged at it, tranq balls ready. They fired, and Bridgette and Heather shot each other. Heather scowled. "Oh, come on! We want a FORMER contestant, not a current one!", she said. Courtney fell over, crawled to Heather and kicked her leg. "Ouch!" The girls glared at each other. Meanwhile, Bridgette fell over. Heather picked her up. "Come on, let's get out of here." Courtney gasped. "No, wait! You can't leave me here! I can help you beat Noah and Owen!" Heather turned away. "Oh, please. We don't need your help to do that."

A while later, Bridgette and Heather were at a watering hole, resting. "Need a drink?", Bridgette asked. "Out of this nasty water? No way", Heather replied. "Honestly it's pretty good, eh", Ezekiel said. The girls gasped. So did Ezekiel, who ran out from behind a bush. "After him!", Heather yelled. She turned to Bridgette, who was lying on the ground. "Oh. Right." She bent over and picked her girlfriend up, and ran with her. After about fifteen minutes, Ezkiel was way ahead. He turned to them, smirking. "You're never gonna catch me, eh! No way!", he said. He kept running while facing them, and crashed into a tree. Heather put Bridgette down, pulled out her slingshot and fired. Her first shot missed. She fired again, and missed. Ezekiel started running. Heather fired a third shot and hit him. Bridgette rolled over toward Heather. "Did you get him?" "Yes!" The girls cheered. A few minutes later, Chris and Chef arrived in an ATV. "Congrats, Heather! You have invincibility, and you and your girlfriend are on your way to first class. Now let's go before Zeke wakes up!" Heather raised an eyebrow. "What?" "We're trying to leave him behind! Why do you think we wanted to get him out of the plane and tranquilize him?" Heather shrugged. "Good point."

Once everyone but Zeke was back on the plane, they all went to the elimination room. "Okay, let's see who lost", Chris said. "One vote for Courtney, one vote for Bridgette. One vote for Courtney, one vote for Bridgette. And one more vote, for... Bridgette." Bridgette frowned and Heather gasped. They turned to each other and hugged. "Well... I guess this is goodbye", Bridgette said. Heather kissed Bridgette's cheek. "For now. I'll see you at the finale." Bridgette smiled and kissed Heather. "You can count on it. Good luck, babe." Bridgette walked to Chris and got a parachute from him. She walked to the doorway, waved to Heather and jumped. Heather waved back and watched Bridgette fall out of sight. Chris smiled. "So, Heather! Who's going with you to first class?", he asked. Heather looked at the other three contestants and sighed. "Owen." Owen cheered, while Courtney and Noah scowled at Heather.

_Confession Cam: Courtney_

"_Heather is going to pay dearly for abandoning me during the challenge. One way or another, I assure you, she will pay."_


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22: Happy Easter Island

The next morning, as the plane flew to its next destination, Owen woke up in first class. He farted and yawned, then turned to Heather, who was looking out the window. "Morning, Heather! You okay?", he asked. Heather sighed. "Yeah, I'm fine." Owen got up and looked around. He sniffed the air and ran over to the far end of first class, where he found a tray full of candy and desserts. He started drooling. "Sweet Christmas! Heather, is this your reward for winning the last challenge?" Heather nodded. "Can I have some?" Heather shrugged. "Sure." Owen cheered and started shoving sweets into his mouth. "Mmm, thanks! I totally owe you one!"

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_The only reason I picked Owen to join me in first class is because Noah and Courtney would bother me so much. Owen may be annoying too, but at least he isn't mean. And, I guess I can use his stomach to my advantage..."_

Meanwhile, Noah and Courtney were talking in the economy class. "So it's agreed? We're voting off Heather next?", Courtney asked. Noah nodded. "As long as she doesn't get invincibility", he said. Courtney smirked. "Perfect. Because I can beat you and Owen with one hand tied behind my back." Noah smirked back. "I think not. With my brains and his bulk, there's no way you can beat both of us in the semifinals." Courtney rolled her eyes. "We'll see about that." Right on cue, Chris turned on the intercom. "Attention, passengers! Please prepare for landing!" The plane crashed into a rock and landed roughly. The contestants exited the plane, walked over to the rock and saw that it was a Moai head. "Another piece of world heritage destroyed", Heather said. Courtney and Noah nodded in agreement. "Yeah, let's hope Chris doesn't try this again next season", Courtney said. Then, Owen walked up to the others, carrying some candy. "Thanks again for the snacks, Heather! Noah, you want some of this?", he asked. Noah shook his head. "I'd rather not eat right before a challenge. You go right ahead."

After Owen finished eating, the contestants walked around. They found Chris, shirtless and covered in paint. "Iorana, and welcome to Easter Island, AKA Rapa Nui", he said. Owen looked around. "Rap music was invented here? I don't even see any streets!" Chris facepalmed. "No, it's the former home of a rich civilization that built its way to destruction. Why do you think I'm dressed like this?" "I thought you were just warm." Chris facepalmed again. "Moving on! Today, you, our final four, are going on an Easter Island egg hunt." "Ooh, for chocolate eggs?", Owen asked. Chris shook his head. "No, these eggs come from big, vicious, kill-you-in-a-second birds. Speaking of which, you each get a traditional Rapa Nui headdress." Chris tossed a headdress to each of the contestants, each with a different color.

The teens followed Chris to a group of giant heads, but not Moai heads. These heads were shaped like the former contestants. "Hidden in these head things are eggs that match the color of your... head things", he said. "Whoa, how poetic", Noah said sarcastically. "Your task is to find three eggs that match your headdress color, then make a break for the massive underground cavern system and book it all the way to the highest point on the island. Reach the top with all three eggs to begin the second part of today's challenge." "What happens if we drop an egg?", Heather asked. "You'll have to come all the way back here for a replacement. And no, you cannot carry backup eggs", Chris replied. "First to the top gets a big advantage in part two. Now, get going!"

The contestants started climbing and looking over the heads to find eggs. Heather soon found one in the Ezekiel head, and Courtney found one in the Gwen head. She smiled. "I knew my friend wouldn't let me down..." Owen checked the Lindsay head but couldn't find anything. Noah checked Duncan's head and found one. Heather moved on to the Harold head and found a second egg, while Owen found one in the Tyler head. She ran from there to the Leshawna head and got her last egg.

While Heather ran to the tunnel, Courtney found her second and third eggs at the Bridgette head. She ran into the tunnel after Heather, but soon saw Heather screaming and running in the other direction. Heather crashed into Courtney and they both crashed into a wall, right before a giant boulder rolled down the tunnel and almost hit them. The girls growled and glared at each other, then went back to get some new eggs. While they were walking back to the heads, Noah passed them, carrying three eggs. The girls glared at him and ran back to the heads.

Noah entered the tunnel and started walking along. Within a minute, a boulder rolled down the tunnel from above. Noah turned around and ran away, but fell and cracked one of his eggs open. The boulder rolled by and squished him. After a few minutes, Noah got up, groaning in pain. "Well, I guess that's why the girls had to turn back..."

This went on for quite a while, but eventually Courtney won. A while later, the other contestants all finished the first part of the challenge. They walked up to Chris, covered in bruises and broken eggs. "Finally! Took you long enough!", Chris said. "Well, time for the next part of the challenge. Courtney, as the first one to arrive, you get this catcher's mask." Chris threw the mask to her and she put it on. "Now, you must climb that giant pillar all the way up to the giant condor nest at the top." Noah gulped. "Giant condors?" "That's right!" Noah groaned. "Can we at least get some goggles or something?" "Nope! Oh, and in case you didn't already know, mama condors get even bigger than the dude birds, so the 'giant' in giant condor is no exaggeration. Twelve foot wing spans... like that!" Chris pointed up, and the teens saw a giant condor fly overhead, blocking most of the sun. "See, she's kinda peeved because you guys stole her eggs, so now you have to shimmy up to the nest and give 'em back, in the order in which you arrived here. Of course, mama's got a bunch more eggs up there, so she's bound to be a tad protective." The mother condor screeched down at the contestants. "Deposit all three of your eggs, and you win. And if you don't make it, we'll try it again! Ain't this fun?"

One by one, the contestants climbed up. Courtney reached the nest, and the condor tried to peck her. She smirked. "Ha! Nice try, bird brain, but with this mask, I-" The condor hit her with its wing and she fell down. Then, Heather tried climbing up. She got one egg in, then climbed back down to avoid the bird. Noah climbed up and tried to put his eggs in the nest, but the bird screeched at him and he fell backwards. His eggs fell out of the nest and landed on the ground, broken. Owen tried, but he couldn't reach the top. He climbed back down, panting and sweating. Chris sighed. "Okay. Courtney, try again." Courtney glared at the rock, screamed and charged at it. She climbed up, reached the top and punched the condor. It flew away, and Courtney dumped her eggs into the nest. "Ha! Take that, losers! I win! I win I win I win!"

Heather walked over to Owen and patted his shoulder. "Okay, I think I know how you can repay me for those treats", she said. Owen raised an eyebrow. "Really? How?" Heather smiled. "All you have to do is promise not to vote for me." Owen gasped. "But Courtney just won! That means I have to vote for either me or Noah!" Heather nodded. "Yep!"

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_Is it really being mean if he said he owed me one? The guy loves food, and I would love to stay in the game a while longer. Seems like a good trade to me."_

After Courtney climbed down, all the contestants went back to the plane, cast their votes and went to the elimination room. Chris walked up to them soon after, carrying the ballots. "Okay, let's see who you all voted for!", he said. "The first vote goes to... Heather. The second vote goes to Owen. The third goes to Noah, and the final vote is for... Heather." Heather gasped. "Are you serious? I lost?" Chris nodded. "Yes, you did. But, I have some good news for you. This was just a reward challenge!" "What!? This is totally unfair!", Courtney shouted. Noah sighed and facepalmed, Owen sighed with relief, and Heather cheered. "Courtney, your reward awaits you in first class. Who gets to join you?", Chris asked. Courtney looked at the others. "Um... Owen." Owen cheered, and Heather groaned. "Well, so much for that favor..."


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23: Dino-Sore in the Morning

The next morning, as the plane flew to its next destination, Owen and Courtney were having breakfast in first class. Owen munched on a pastry and smiled. "Mmm, these are good! What are they called again?", he asked. "Babusas or something", Courtney said. "More importantly, can I ask you for something?" "If it's to not vote you off after the next challenge, no. Heather already did that", Owen replied. Courtney crossed her arms and turned away.

Meanwhile, in the economy class, Noah and Heather were sitting across from each other, glaring. Noah crossed his arms. "You're going home next", he said. Heather raised an eyebrow. "Oh really?" "Really." "But what about Courtney? She won the last challenge so easily, don't you think she's the bigger threat?" Noah chuckled. "A bigger threat then the former finalist? Not likely." Heather turned away. "Fine. I guess we'll see who's right by the end of the season."

_Confession Cam: Noah_

"_Oh, we'll see all right. See that I'm a genius, and can do anything I set my mind to. I just need to figure out how..."_

Shortly after this, the plane landed and everyone got out. "Welcome to Drumheller, Alberta, a world heritage site", Chris said. "It has the most wicked collection of dinosaur bones on the planet. In front of you is a giant pit with lots of super ancient dino bones. Grab whatever bones you can find to make your own life-size dino. I'm calling it Design-O-Saurus!" Noah facepalmed, while Courtney and Heather groaned. Owen smiled. "Building a dinosaur! Awesome!" "You also have two minutes to rifle through the plane's cargo hold and grab whatever you can to help build your creations. And, go!"

Everyone went to the plane and got their supplies. Noah got some stickers and feathers, Owen got various sharp objects, Heather got some glitter glue and paint, and Courtney got a some glue and an encyclopedia. Then, they ran back outside and dug up some fossils. Courtney unearthed a femur bone and looked at it. "Shouldn't we be preserving these?", she asked. Chris shrugged. "Eh, heck if I know. Just do the challenge." Courtney shrugged and did so.

Heather walked over to Owen, carrying a small bone. "Hey Owen, I got you a very helpful T Rex bone!", she said. Owen stopped digging for fossils, and ran up and took it. "Awesome!" Heather smiled. "Glad you like it. So, I was thinking, we should really vote off Courtney next." Owen turned away. "I dunno... Noah and I were planning to vote YOU off." "Courtney is the bigger threat. You saw her dominate the last challenge. If that happens again, we're all going to lose to her. So try to help me with this." Owen sighed. "I'll think about it."

After an hour, Chris walked up to the contestants. "Time's up!", he announced. "Now we'll begin the amazing tour through the ages of imaginary dinosaurs. Let's start with Noah." Noah crossed his arms. "I didn't make mine up. I made a velociraptor, as accurate as I could. I even added feathers due to the speculation that some raptors may have had them." Owen applauded. "Great job, buddy!" "Alright, what did you make?", Chris asked him. Owen pointed at his statue, excitedly. "I call it the super-ultra-duper-ceratopsaurus! It's got stegosaurus, triceratops, megalodon AND T Rex pieces, and it has knives for teeth! It's awesome!" Chris nodded and smiled. "Yes, very. Kinda messed up though. Heather, your dinosaur?" Heather smiled. "I call it the princess-saurus, the prettiest dinosaur ever. It's pink and sparkly!" "...Wow." Heather scowled at Chris. "What? I like sparkles. I even collect glitter glue..." "Okay, moving on. Courtney?" Courtney smirked and gestured toward her statue. "Feast your eyes on the tyrant lizard itself, the tyrannosaurus rex!" Owen applauded, and Chris smiled. "Sweet."

"And now, the judging! You guys have to vote on your favorite dino sculptures other than your own, and in a 'shocking' twist, you'll be hooked up to an electric chair and lie detector while you do it." Chris took the contestants to the lie detector chair and Noah sat down. "Well, I'd love to vote for Owen, but honestly he didn't do the best job. Courtney had the same idea as I did, but didn't decorate her dinosaur. so... Heather." Heather smiled. Noah got up and Heather sat down. "I think Noah's was pretty good. Sure, Courtney's T Rex was nice, but it's an overdone dinosaur. So, Noah wins my vote." Courtney scowled. Heather got up and Courtney took the chair. "I vote for Owen. Not the most realistic dinosaur, or the most creative, but very dangerous. Besides, the others each have a point already." Courtney stood up, and Owen sat down in the chair, struggling to fit. "Um... I uh... I vote for Heather." Courtney and Noah gasped, while Chris and Heather looked confused. "Um... why?", Chris asked. "It's creative! I've never seen a pink dino before. Plus, just using a real dinosaur is boring. Sorry Noah..."

Chef walked up to the group, carrying an odd device. "As the winner of the first challenge, Heather gets this handy dandy post digger", Chris explained. "Your task is to dig up some barrels of oil, since we can't really expect you to find a real oil deposit. Heather already claimed her prize. Noah and Owen, for coming in second, you each get an old prospector kit." Chef handed each of the guys a pickaxe and a trash can lid. "And Courtney, for coming in dead last, you get a toy shovel and a sand pail. First one to dig up a barrel of oil wins. Oh, and we'll be pummeling you with the occasional boulder! Funny, right?" Chris laughed, but the contestants glared at him.

Chris blew a whistle and the contestants got to work. Heather walked around, relaxing and drilling holes with her post digger. Courtney desperately dug some holes with her toy shovel. Owen and Noah teamed up to look for level spots to dig at. Meanwhile, they all dodged boulders launched by Chris and Chef. After a while, they launched one at Heather. It hit her post digger, breaking it to pieces. She screamed. "Oh, come on! I was still using that! NOW how am I supposed to win!?"

Elsewhere, Noah and Owen dug up a barrel. "Holy cow, did we seriously find one?", Owen asked. Noah pried the lid off the barrel and check its contents. He smiled. "It's oil. Let's get this to the plane! Come on, buddy!" The two guys ran back to the plane, with Owen carrying the barrel. They put it down in front of Chris. "Great job, guys! So, whose barrel was it?", he asked. Noah and Owen looked at each other, frowning. "Um... what do you think?", Noah asked. "I think you should have it", Owen replied. "Really?" Owen picked Noah up and hugged him tightly. "Sure! You're my little buddy, I gotta help you out when I can." "Well, okay then. Chris, this is my barrel."

Later that evening, the girls both got to the plane, rolling their barrels. Afterward, Chris led them over to a campfire. "I've got a little season one tribute treat here for you! You've all cast your votes. Now it's time to see who gets a marshmallow. If you do not get one, you're out. Noah, since you have invincibility, you get one. The next goes to Heather. And the final marshmallow goes to... Owen." Courtney went wide-eyed. "Wait. What? What!? You guys voted for ME!? How could you!? We had a deal, Noah!" "Hey, I didn't vote for you! Blame them!" Courtney glared at Owen and Heather. "Oh, trust me, I do. You guys will be hearing from my lawyers. Well... bye!"

Courtney stormed off and an intern ran out of the jumbo jet, carrying a lighter. "Okay, I'm here to start the campfire!", he shouted. He ran though a puddle of oil leaking from one of the barrels, slipped and fell. The lighter fell into the oil. The plane exploded.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24: Aftermath D

It's the Total Drama World Tour Aftermath Show! The cameras turned on to show the applauding studio audience, then zoomed in on Katie and Sadie sitting on a couch on the beach. The girls squealed and waved at the camera. "Hi, everyone! Welcome to the Aftermath Show!", Katie said. "We're coming to you live from beautiful Hawaii!", Sadie added. "Finally it's OUR turn to do some traveling. And the peanut gallery is here too!" The camera turned to show the losers and rejects from earlier episodes, who smiled and waved at the cameras... except Cody and Lindsay, who were making out. The audience cheered. "We're two episodes away from declaring this season's million dollar winner, and we've got some big surprises in store for you here!", Sadie said. "First, here's the losers from the past few episodes: Cody, Bridgette and Gwen!" Some interns shoved the teens toward the couch. Gwen raised an eyebrow. "Why did I get introduced with Cody and Bridgette?", she asked. "We're doing things differently today", Katie said. "First, I've got one more ex-contestant to add to the list: the rogue reporter, miss bossy herself, Blaineley!" An intern wheeled Blainely over. She was wearing a full body cast and strapped to a dolly. The audience gasped.

"Geez, what happened to her?", Justin asked. "When Chris booted her out of the plane, he didn't give her a parachute", Sadie explained. "Things got kinda... messy when she landed." "Anyway, our peanut gallery will soon have a say in who wins this season!", Katie said. "Good, because I've got a LOT to say about that", Courtney said. "Heather HAS to win!", Bridgette said. "Let's just hope everyone survives. They're stuck in Drumheller, where the number one cause of death is being stranded in Drumheller", Harold replied. "Oh, I'm sure they'll be fine. They always are. I just can't wait to see how!", Katie said. "So, who are you guys gonna root for?" The peanut gallery started calling out names. "Heather!" "Noah!" "Owen!" "Explosivo!"

"Before you guys make your decisions, let's see how our three semifinalists compare", Sadie said. "First up is Heather, of course. Heather entered the game as the queen of mean, but after Katie and I gave her a makeover and convinced her to be nice, she's become way sweeter." "And Heather's got skills, too! She's been in the finals twice, thanks to her awesome alliances", Katie added. "But this is the first season where she doesn't have any friends in the final three. Noah and Owen are the ones with the alliance. Speaking of which, Noah's next on the list", Sadie said. "Mister know it all may be the smartest guy on the show, but he's also the weakest and laziest. He even got voted out for being lazy in season one!" "He also has the least Total Drama experience of our finalists. He's smart, but whether he's up against super skilled Heather or super huge Owen, he's gonna have a hard time in a physical challenge finale." "Last up is Owen. He's big, he's strong, he seriously needs to go on a diet, but he's too slow and is about as smart as the twenty pancakes he had for breakfast. He's mostly relied on luck and his gut to get this far in the game, along with being pushed along by others. He's gonna need that luck to win the finals."

"Okay, time to vote for your favorite finalists!", Katie announced. Ten of the teens voted for Owen, while four each voted for Noah and Heather. "Okay, great! Now, a few of you each get to compete in a challenge to support the person you voted for!", Sadie said. The audience and losers gasped. "Follow me, guys!", she said.

The peanut gallery followed Sadie to the bottom of a cliff near a waterfall. "So, peanut gallery, have you guys missed being in the game?", she asked. None of them responded. "Great! Because you're gonna be competing to help your favorite final three contestant win! Three of you have to risk your lives in the surfing challenge, so can I get a volunteer from each team?" Bridgette raised her hand. "I'll do it for team Heather", she said. Geoff raised his hand next and said "I'll do it for team Owen!" Finally, Alejandro raised his hand. "I'll compete for team Noah." Duncan raised an eyebrow. "Seriously? Why?", Duncan asked. "Because he has the best chance of winning besides Heather, and frankly, I don't like Heather."

Sadie smiled. "Alright, perfect! You guys have to race up this big cliff, and then grab a Hawaiian lei from the tiki thingy. Then you get a surf board and take it downstream. You also have to avoid some lava on your way down. Now then..." Sadie walked away, and came back with a chalkboard covered with animal drawings. "Each team must pick an animal to represent the spirit of their player. Team Heather?" Bridgette sighed. "A majestic lioness, definitely." "Okay then, her spirit animal is the lioness. Team Noah?" "The guy's a sloth", Eva said. "Okay, that works! Team Owen?" "A bear!", Lindsay said. Sadie clapped her hands. "Okay, now the surprise part! If you guys get past the water and the lava with your leis intact, you have to put it on your team's spirit animal to finish the challenge. The first contestant to put the lei on their team's animal wins a big advantage for their finalist. Second place gets a decent advantage for their finalist, and last place gets nothing. Ready? Get set... go!"

Bridgette, Geoff and Alejandro raced up the cliff, with Al in the lead. Bridgette stumbled and fell on her way up, but got back up and kept running. Al, Geoff and Bridgette grabbed their leis and surf boards, then ran to the stream and began surfing downhill. Geoff reached his team's animal first. The bear clawed at him and Geoff dodged. Next, Alejandro got to his team's animal and slipped the lei around the sloth's neck. Team Noah cheered, and Alejandro bowed. Finally, Bridgette surfed up to her team's animal. The lioness growled at her, and Bridgette frowned. "Okay, maybe this was a bad choice..." She held out her lei and the lioness snapped at her. Bridgette screamed and fell over, losing her grip on the lei in the process. Meanwhile, Geoff ran behind his team's bear and put the lei over its head.

Katie ran over to the contestants. "Okay, this challenge is over! Team Noah and Team Owen win!" The Noah and Owen supporters cheered, while Bridgette frowned and Sadie started to cry. Katie hugged her. "Aww, don't be sad, she can still win! Besides, all the others won is a wheelbarrow and a baby carriage." Alejandro raised an eyebrow. "How exactly is that helpful?", he asked. Katie shrugged. "We'll find out at the finale. So, see you guys there for the dramatic conclusion of Total Drama World Tour!"


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25: Last Leg

Chris, Chef and the contestants stood by the wreckage of the plane. After crying for a few minutes, Chris pulled a phone out of his pocket and dialed a number. "Hello? Yeah, it's Chris! The freaking jet just exploded! ...I'll explain later, okay!? Just get me and Chef a ride out of here. ...Okay, that'll work. Thanks. McLean out." He put down the phone and sighed, then turned to the contestants. "Okay, good news and bad news. Good news, a helicopter is gonna come here to pick us up! The bad news for you, is 'us' only means me, Chef and Courtney." Courtney cheered, while the other teens groaned. "The rest of you need to find your own way to reach the final challenge destination in Hawaii." "How the heck are we supposed to do that?", Noah asked. "You're a smart bunch, you'll figure something out... or not. Also, you each get a walkie-talkie and GPS to help you navigate." Chef scoured the wreckage of the plane and got the devices, giving one of each to Owen, Noah and Heather. "Set 'em for Tijuana beach on the Mexican border. Get going, and good luck!"

Heather, Noah and Owen started walking south, toward Mexico. "Well, this sucks", Noah said. Owen nodded. "I know, I haven't had a decent meal in hours!", he said. Heather and Noah facepalmed. "We're heading to Mexico as a team, right Noah?", Owen asked. Noah nodded. "Of course." Heather smiled and started running. "Well, see you there!", she shouted. Noah gasped. "Oh crap... this isn't gonna work. If she gets there first, she wins. Owen, are you okay if I take off?" Owen frowned. "Well, I guess if it'll help you win..." Noah smiled. "Thanks, buddy. See you in Hawaii."

Noah ran away, and after a while he found a road. He pulled a tack out of his pocket, put it on the road, and waited. Soon enough, a truck drove by and its wheel hit the tack. The truck stopped and Noah climbed onto the roof. He smirked. "Hawaii, here I come..." Meanwhile, Heather was walking along, looking at her GPS, when she tripped and landed on some train tracks. She stood back up, groaning in pain. "What kind of idiot leaves train tracks in the middle of nowhere?", she asked herself. Then she smiled. "Wait, trains! Bingo!" She ran south along the train tracks to a station a few miles away. Back near the plane, Owen kept walking along steadily.

At the train station, Heather bought a ticket and got on a train in the afternoon. Right before it left, the truck Noah had been on dumped its cargo onto another car of the train, and Noah sneaked onto it. He pulled out his walkie-talkie and turned it on. "Owen, can you hear me?", he asked. "Sure can, buddy!", Owen replied. "Perfect. There's a train station a few miles southwest of the plane. Get moving, because I'm already taking the lead!"

Owen walked slowly to the train station. When he got there, he collapsed from exhaustion. "Oh crap, I don't think I can do this... quick, someone get me a burger or something!" He crawled to a vending machine and got some food. After he ate it, he sighed. "Crap, now I don't have money for a train ticket..." He walked outside and saw a group of horses trotting by. He smiled. "Perfect!" He ran up to one, grabbed it and pulled his way onto its back. "Alright! Giddyup, horsey!"

The next day, the train and Owen's horse approached Mexico. After the train stopped in Tijuana, Noah and Heather both got off it. They saw each other in the train station and gasped. "You! You aren't gonna win this time!", they both said. They ran out of the station and down to the beach. Meanwhile, Owen and his horse headed for the beach as well. Chris was waiting for them at a boardwalk when they arrived. "Hey, you finally made it!", he shouted. "Head down the boardwalk, grab a boat and head for the big island in the distance! First one there wins a ticket to the finals!"

The contestants ran to get their boats, each of them taking one. They started the motors and headed for Hawaii. On their way, Noah slammed his boat against Heather's. Heather glared at him. "Hey, watch it! These aren't bumper boats!", she said. Noah smirked. "Exactly!" Heather looked down and saw that her boat was springing a leak. "Oh, you have to be kidding me!" She screamed and sped the boat up. Meanwhile, Owen's weight was slowing his boat down.

Later, Noah arrived at Hawaii and saw Chris, Chef and the other former contestants waiting for him. He pulled out his walkie-talkie and turned it on. "Owen, I made it! Where are you?", he asked. "I'm on my way, pal!", Owen replied. A minute later, Owen and Heather arrived at the island. They both got out of the boat and ran toward Chris, who smiled. "Well, it looks like we have a tie!", he said. "What!? Come on, I totally won!", Heather said. "No way, I did!", Owen said. "Guys, guys! Calm down! I know just how to solve this..."


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26: Maui Owwie

Chris started walking down the beach. "Follow me, guys!", he said. Everyone did so. "Okay. Good news for the peanut gallery is you guys will have a big role in deciding who wins this time." Duncan smirked. "So we're voting on who wins again? Cool." "Now, if we're gonna have a finale, we need to figure out who's IN it first. So, we need a tiebreaker challenge. Noah, you won the race to Hawaii, so you have this advantage. You can either select the tiebreaker yourself, or you can have one of your possible opponents choose it." Noah shrugged. "I guess I'll do it." Chris smirked. "I was hoping you'd say that."

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_This is no problem for me. I've won the final challenge before, and I can do it again. But first, I need to get Owen out of my way. That shouldn't be too hard, no matter what the semifinals challenge is."_

_Confession Cam: Noah_

"_Yeah, it's nice that I'm in the finals. Just not looking forward to actually competing in it. Either I'm up against Owen, in which case I'll have to hurt my friend, or I'll be up against Heather, against whom I don't have much of a chance. This isn't gonna be good."_

_Confession Cam: Owen_

"_Oh my gosh, this is awesome! I seriously have a chance to win a million bucks! All I have to do is beat Heather and then... beat Noah... wow. Suddenly I'm not that excited."_

Chris pulled Noah over to a glass case with a yellow sphere on top of it. "Tadaa! Each ball inside that yellow ball has a different tiebreaker written on it. So, take your pick!", Chris said. Noah walked into the booth, and a bunch of golf balls rained down on him. "Ah, ow! Ouch! Dude, why did you use golf balls!?" "Because it's fun!" Noah grabbed a ball at random and walked out with it. He tossed it to Chris, then sat down, rubbing his sores. Chris inspected the ball. "Let's see... Noah has selected the traditional Hawaiian fire dance of death."

A few minutes later, the three semifinalists were on a wooden platform offshore, with Noah tied to a post while Heather and Owen wore coconut bras and grass skirts. They each held a large beating stick. "Okay, what the heck am I even here for?", Noah asked. Chris shrugged. "It's just more entertaining, trust me. The first semifinalist to free Noah wins the last spot in the final two, and a shot at the million!" "What if no one frees him?", Heather asked. Noah glared at her. "Won't work, I already checked. Chef, if you'd do the honors?" Chef nodded, walked to the shore and readied a bow with a flaming arrow. It hit part of the wooden platform. "Oh, and stay out of the water!", Chris said. After he said this, Chef launched an arrow with a steak on it into the water and a shark swam over to it. "Okay, challenge begins now!"

Heather and Owen charged at each other, hitting each other with their sticks. "You're going down, Owen!", Heather said. She whacked him with her stick, but he didn't even flinch. Instead, he hit Heather with his own stick and she fell over. Heather got back up and glared at Owen, but he just knocked her over again. Geoff, Cody and Lindsay cheered from the peanut gallery. "Woohoo, go Owen!", Geoff shouted. Meanwhile, Chef launched another arrow and hit the pole Noah was tied to. Noah went wide-eyed. "Um, guys? A little help here?" Heather got up again and charged at Owen. She hit him in the stomach with her stick, and he stumbled backward a few inches. He glared at Heather and hit her with his stick again. She fell over. When she got back up, Owen hit her once more and knocked her off the platform.

While Bridgette dove into the water to save Heather from the sharks, Owen put his stick down and untied Noah. Noah smiled. "Good job, buddy", he said. Owen smiled back. "Thanks, pal. So, we're both in the finale! This is awesome! Right?" Chef drove a boat up to the wooden platform and brought Owen and Noah to shore. Then, Chris walked up to them. "Now that we have our finalists, I am proud to announce the peanut gallery will NOT be voting for the winner." The peanut gallery groaned and booed. "What!? But you said we were gonna play a major role! Major!", Courtney shouted. "Yep! Just not in a votey kind of way. Prepare to have your minds blown out by the most lethal challenge in Total Drama history: Noah, versus Owen, versus the volcano!"

"Back in the day, human sacrifices were tossed into Kilauea volcano to appease the gods. Sadly, the lawyers won't let me use real people as sacrifices, so Heather and Alejandro will have to make sacrifice stand-ins using the island's most abundant resources: pineapples and driftwood. And, to make it nice and symbolic, you guys have to make dummies of each other to dump in the volcano. Now, you each get to pick two helpers", Chris said. "I pick... Tyler and Cody", Noah said. "And I pick Geoff and Izzy!", Owen said. Chris smiled as the four teens approached the finalists. "Okay, we have our helpers. Now, Noah and Owen, you have to stay within these circles on the sand in front of you and direct your helpers to bring you logs, driftwood, and pineapples that resemble parts of your opponent. When you're done, you will race up the volcano and dump your dummy in. First one to do so wins. On your mark... get set... go!"

Noah and Owen got to work directing their helpers. "Okay guys, get the biggest log you can find!", Noah said. "Izzy, get a big pineapple for the head! Geoff, get some sticks!", Owen said. The helpers got their supplies and carried them back to the circles. "Okay, now get some short, thick ones for limbs!", Noah said. "Get a longer log for the body!", Owen said. "Come on, hurry!" This continued for a while. Then, finally, Geoff and Lindsay got the Noah dummy built. "And Owen takes the lead! Now, haul your sacrifice to the top of Kilauea and toss it in! To help you get your dummies to the top of the volcano, you can use the rewards your teams earned during the last Aftermath show. Noah, you won a wheelbarrow, so hurry and finish. Owen, you won a stroller." Owen ran the Noah dummy over and put it in the stroller. "See you at the top, Noah!", he said. "Guys, hurry up!", Noah said. Tyler and Cody rushed to finish the dummy. "Now get it in the wheelbarrow! Come on, we have a race to win!"

The two teams raced up the side of the volcano, pushing their prizes and sacrifices. With Tyler and Cody helping, Noah slowly caught up with Owen and then passed him. "See YOU at the top, buddy!", he said. The teams kept going until they reached a river of lava with several platforms in it and a bunch of dangerous objects hanging above it. "Yoohoo, over here!", Chris called from the other side. Noah stared at it in disbelief. "The only way to the top of the volcano is past this river of lava", Chris explained. "That wheelbarrow probably won't be too helpful! All you can do is hop across these stepping stones." Noah groaned. "I just HAD to be up against Owen..." "Also, we've rigged a few booby traps to make things more interesting. Chef, a demo if you'd please?" Chef pulled out a knife and cut a nearby rope. A log fell and landed on one of the platforms, breaking it. Owen and Noah gasped. "Yeah, you really don't wanna get hit by those. But, you do wanna get your opponent. Once your helpers get across, they can either keep them secure or send them falling. It's your call. And, go!"

Noah and Tyler hopped across the river, carrying the Owen dummy, while Cody hopped ahead. Geoff and Izzy hopped ahead as well, while Owen slowly crossed the river with the Noah dummy. "Dude, cut the ropes!", Tyler shouted. "Guys, stop him!", Owen said. Geoff and Izzy both ran at Cody, trying to grab him. Cody stumbled backward onto one of the ropes. Geoff tackled him and the rope, breaking it. A rock fell down and hit Owen on the head. "Ooh, pretty colors..." Izzy smiled. "Is it magenta?" Owen stumbled onward, barely avoiding a fall into the lava. Meanwhile, Noah and Tyler steadily kept walking ahead. They crossed the river and sped up. Once Owen finally got across, Geoff and Izzy helped steady him and push him forward. He looked around, confused. "Huh? Did I win?" Geoff shook his head. "Not yet, dude!"

Chris, Chef and the peanut gallery stood atop the volcano, with Chris holding the million dollar case. Chris looked down at the side of the volcano. "Here they come!" Noah, Tyler and Cody walked up the slope, followed by Owen, Geoff and Izzy. Noah reached the top first, gasping for air. "Looking for this?", Chris asked. He held up the case, and Noah smirked. "Perfect." Then, Owen and his team reached the top. "Oh... hey, Noah! Is it hot up here, or is it just me? Whew!" Owen fell over, but Geoff and Izzy pulled him back up. They pushed him toward the rim of the volcano, while Noah and Tyler approached it, carrying their dummy. Cody facepalmed. "Dude, what are you waiting for? Throw it in already!" Noah and Tyler went to the edge of the volcano, lifted the sacrifice up, and tossed it in. The peanut gallery cheered. "And that's a cool million for Noah, the winner of Total Drama World Tour!", Chris announced. Noah took the case from Chris and smiled.

Owen walked up to Noah, smiling. "Great job, Noah. You deserve it." Noah patted his shoulder. "I couldn't have done it without you. What do you say we have a little party once we get back to Canada?" "Really? Awesome!" Then, the volcano started rumbling. Everyone frowned. "Uh-oh... We should probably get outta here." While the peanut gallery started walking down the volcano, Ezekiel crept up behind Noah, glaring. Noah turned around and saw him. "Dude, what's with you?", he asked. "That should be MY million bucks, yo! I worked my butt off to get on this show, worked even harder once I got back on in season three, and what do I get? Nothin'! So, if I can't get the million bucks by winning, I'm just gonna take it!"

Ezekiel tackled Noah, and the two guys started fighting over the case. Ezekiel pinned Noah down with one arm and pulled the case away with the other. He got up and started cheering, dancing around. "It's mine, eh! It's mine, it's mine, it's-" He stumbled over the edge of the volcano. "Oh, come on!" Ezekiel screamed and fell into the lava. Noah got up and ran down the volcano after the others. The volcano rumbled even more, even louder, and soon lava began flowing out of it. Everyone got to the beach and onto a boat, leaving the island as the volcano erupted. Chris turned to a camera guy and smiled at the camera. "See ya next season, I guess! Until next time, I'm Chris McLean, and this has been Total Drama World Tour!"

**Well, now that this season is over, I have a few things to say. First of all, thank you all for reading my story, I appreciate it very much. I'm glad you were able to tolerate it until the end. Thanks to all of you who are "following" me or my fan fics, and thanks for all the reviews. Second, before anyone asks, yes I am planning to do a story for Total Drama Revenge of the Island as well. However, there is going to be a delay before I can write that one. I can't access the episodes, and I need to do that in order to write, especially for the earlier chapters. So, just try to be patient while you wait for Total Drama Revenge of the Island: Unchanged Order. **


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